New To Forum and Feeling Sooo Isolated

[Mary Elynne]

Hello everyone,
My name is Mary Elynne. I am from Vancouver Island. I have two beautiful daughters ( ages 19 and 18) who also suffer from PTSD, as do I. It has been a long difficult , sometimes seemingly , impossible journey... We've all come a long way... my children received counseling and help for 12 years for their PTSD... my life was devoted to mending my broken children and making sure they received the help they needed. Life was chaotic to say the least.... there were days when we could only manage one minute at a time.
I grew up with an alcoholic, violent father who tried to kill us on a regular basis. I was the oldest of 4 children and spent my childhood desperately trying to protect my siblings and my mom. Then I married a man who was ten times worse.... he raped me, physically and emotionally abused me, then proceeded to do the same to my two little girls, then 3 and 4. We have had help from govt, police, to get away and we have been safe for a while.... my children are doing very well.... but I am not.I am having a terrible time with depression, anxiety, loss of sleep, thoughts of worthlessness, panic attacks and flashbacks. You would think that now that we are no longer in "crisis" mode , which have been the last 11-12 years.... I would be doing better. Everything is coming back to me big time... out of the blue, when I least expect it. I can't close my eyes without relieving some of those horrors.
I am thankful to have found a community who understands.
Healing thoughts and prayers to all.
Mary E

 

[ssgrader]

you are not alone. like you i have isolated myself and that is the wrong road to go down. ( i hate hearing this but ) keep plugging away and devote some of every day to count your good thoughts

 

[Tsalagi]

Hi Mary Elynne,

If its of any comfort please know that you are not alone in this. I think what you describe of your symptoms may be fairly typical. Like you described I also am having recent major issues with PTSD that would also seem out of the blue. I was abused since childhood then had several injuries/accidents over 10 years ago and seemed to plug along fine. What seemed to set it off was a rather impersonal incident where I witnessed a stranger being beaten in town. Now after that I started having panic attacks and have nightmares of my previous accidents one of which occured when I was 4. Its just like there is a switch in the brain that suddenly gets flipped on.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum.....

I'm glad that your daughters are doing well, and now it's your turn.....This place is a great place to start. Therapy, meds, (if you need them) and reaching out is a great start.......

 

[morgan]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

I started out in isolation too. My first thread was Isolation- Struggling to Meet New Friends. (sorry I don't know how to do links) You may find this thread helpful. You can do a search at the top of your screen. The support and advice I got was very helpful to me and as will be able to tell from reading the thread, I gradually came out of isolation and now have a few friends and many new aquaintances(sp?). I have grown a great deal from being on this forum and therapy and meds. This was a great combination for me and still is. I put a lot of work into it and it has really paid off.

I hope you too can find the help you need here. Stick around. It's worth it.

Best wishes, Morgan

 

[midi]

Welcome to the forum! It's a great place to be! I'm isolated as well. My son's biopop was termed a "Paul Bernardo in the making" by our Catholic family counselor, after he openly admitted to regularly beating and raping me. It's something I rarely talk about, but is one of the extended traumas that influenced my isolation.

You'll find lots of people here with similar stories and issues!

 

[cragger65]

Welcome to the forum, Mary. I think you will find it a very safe and supportive place.

 

[SammyKline]

It's important for you to understand that you have always done the best you could and are not to blame in any way whatsoever for what happened to your girls.

I'ts wonderful that the three of you are together now and you are getting help.

 

[fin]

Welcome Mary Elynne

I found that when I came out of crisis mode that was when my c-ptsd got worse also.

I hope you are able to get help to be able to come through this with your girls and that this year will be the best for you
There are many here that are with you and understand.

 

[goingonhope]

Welcome, Mary

... my life was devoted to mending my broken children and making sure they received the help they needed. Life was chaotic to say the least.... there were days when we could only manage one minute at a time.

I am most thankful for Moms who do their absolute best by and for their children! :kiss:

Mary Elynne, Happy that you found this forum, and hope that it will aid you up, through and out of the isolation you now experience.

Please don't be too hard on yourself.

You would think that now that we are no longer in "crisis" mode , which have been the last 11-12 years.... I would be doing better. Everything is coming back to me big time... out of the blue, when I least expect it.

Yes, I too can return to this thinking and misunderstanding of reality, ....as I too have Ptsd, but with such being the case, we can know that thinking this way and re-experiencing Ptsd's symptoms is all normal and to be expected.

depression, anxiety, loss of sleep, thoughts of worthlessness, panic attacks and flashbacks. I can't close my eyes without relieving some of those horrors.

I'm sorry that this is a part of your reality for now. I'm very truly sorry!

Remember this: This is what it is for now, you too can heal, manage again and afford yourself the support, help and services you deserve.

Do you have any insurance, professional therapuetic services and/or community Ptsd support groups available to you, at this time?


:thumbs-upGlad you found the forum and hope you let many of us get to know you and be of support to you, when we can.


Hope

 

[Grama-Herc]

Mary,

Welcome! You have found a place that is going to open your eyes, your heart, your mind and hopefully your life!

You are to be admired for your ability to get your children the help they needed-----something I was never able to do.

I sincerely hope that this group of unlikely people can help you feel more connected and less isolated.

As an agoraphobic I can definitely relate to isolation!

As they say in my area "holler if I can help"

 

[A-RON]

Welcome Mary Elynne,

I hope you find what you need from this community. Although each of us has a unique story to tell, there's just so much to relate to. I really think the jacket cover for the movie Babel says it all: Pain is universal. Anyway, just saying hello. I thought I had posted to this thread a few days ago, but I guess not. So now I am.

Peace,
Aaron