New To Forums.

[AmyO]

Hi. My name is Amy and I am a single mom of three wonderful boys. I am here because all of my family have been diagnosed with PTSD.

I got out of an abusive relationship about 2 years ago. My husband physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me for 8 years of a nine year marriage. My children (all his) were emotionally, verbally and other abuse for most of their lives. I took the beatings so he wouldn't hit them, and I didn't know about the other until after we had left. He would have them stand and watch as he beat me and tell them it was their fault.

My beautiful children are 8, 7, and 6 years old now and I fear that I caused the suffering they now endure. We are coming together with love and compassion to fix a fractured family, but it is getting harder now that my 6 year old is exhibiting signs of having CPTSD.

I have been blaming myself for not being stronger...for not leaving sooner. We are in therapy and I just enrolled in parent child interaction therapy to better help my kids cope. I'm sorry if I seem to be all over the place. I am still trying to get out of my thinking that I don't want to overload anyone with my problems.

I hope to be of help to anyone else. I am in the process right now of trying to get the public school system to start training their teachers to deal correctly with children with PTSD.

 

[amethist]

Hi Amy

Welcome to the forum.

Please don't think you will over load any of us with your problems, we are here so you can let your problems and feelings out in a health way.

You are not to blame for what your for any of what your husband did to you and your children. You should feel proud of yourself that you did get out, and are now doing all you can to help yourself and your children recover form this ordeal.

No one will tell you what the future holds, but you have now found a good place for help, advice and support while you fight your way back to a good place for you and your children.

Take good care of your self too.

Amethist

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Amy, welcome to the forum.

Nothing that happened was your fault and I'm really sorry that you and your beautiful children had to suffer. The thing to hold onto is that you are now out and safe. You are getting the help and support, healing will come and hopefully you will all be able to manage your lives with PTSD.

I'm so pleased you found this site, you are now with friends.

(((Hugs))) if you will accept them
KP

 

[AmyO]

Thank you for your support. And yes I will take any hugs I can get. It has been a rough day with just the realization of everything I have been pushing back all of this time. I don't think I have quit crying for more than ten minutes at any given point today.

I know that I have got a rough road ahead and I feel like just being able to talk to someone who really understands what me and my boys are going through might help a little more than just talking to friends. Bless their hearts for being there but for the most part no one really wants to hear about your troubles but to help make you forget. I hear a lot of "its in the past so let it go." but it is real hard when you wake up night after night with children screaming that daddy is coming to get them.

Now as well, I have the kids school to contend with. They have no real concept of PTSD is and have been triggering flashbacks and anger in the kids. It is starting to trickle down to the homelife and creating chaos at every turn. They won't even listen to the boys T when I had her call the school to explain and she was told that it has been a while since they have been out of the situation so they can't use that as an excuse anymore.

I talked to the T today and told her that I would like to do some Parent child interaction therapy so I can teach the kids that I am there for them and to resort our relationship back to that of mother and children instead of fellow pows in the war of an abusive person.

I sometimes feel all of the strength sap out of me. I ask myself all of the time 'am I doing the best I can?' I have three little lives depending on me at all times and even though I give them all of the love and hope I can, it feels like it is not enough. I am so used to my "training" that I even feel like I am being triggered by the school staff whenever I try to get the point across to them that blame me all they want look to yourselves for his problems because they all started this bad at school. What is a girl to do, you know.

 

[Marie E.]

Welcome to the Forum AmyO, there is very much support here.

 

[amethist]

Hi Amy

Is it at all possible you could find a different school for your boys. Maybe not something that you want to do, if it means taking them away from friends, but a more understanding school maybe the best way to go right now. It would take some of the stress out of the situation, as well as giving them more support away from home.

Just and idea, and possibly something to think about.

Amethist