Hi Doreen. I'm new to this site too, but not to PTSD. I've also tried to understand the origins of my issues with extreme anxiety and depression. I've written books about it and spent years in therapy. It was a long time before I was diagnosed with PTSD. Caregivers (Psychiatrists, Psychologists, etc.) use testing and the DSM manual to actually diagnose PTSD, along with you personal history. DSM stands for Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, and it gives criteria for the diagnosis of many psychiatric disorders. Since these issues would be hard to separate otherwise, they are usually clustered in categories, such as re-experiencing symptoms (flashbacks, etc., often triggered by something that seems unrelated and relatively benign), hyper-vigilant symptoms (such as being in a near-constant state of "high alert, fearing some impending catastrophe), and the sense of a shortened future (dying young, for example). I am a Christian believer, so I prayed much for the wisdom to understand what happened to me. My memories were very fragmented in the beginning, and some came in what I called "tactile hallucinations," because they were triggered by touching crumpled paper, for example. I had no way of knowing what that could possibly relate to, but today I do. My family was quite secretive, I suppose thinking children didn't need to know about their past traumas. I gleaned my past trauma history from some blatant clues (my grandmother's bi-polar behavior) and others that were far more subtle (my mother's reactions to her father, for example). It has taken years to recover, but today I feel I have what psychologists call a "cohesive narrative." No one can prove the truth of your experience, because so much of our individual experience is subjective. I have worked with psychiatric social workers as well as psychologists over the years. Psychiatrists generally do not do therapy because they often head mental health programs and supervise other therapists. I saw mine only for an antidepressant prescription. Psychologists do testing and make diagnoses, but psych social workers have been some of the best I've worked with. They tend to look at the family structure as it pertains to you and understand a lot about trauma. The key is to find someone you feel safe with to unravel the "ball of string" as I often think of it. I hope you find someone who can help you, and I hope this site gives you support during your search and your recovery. It is possible to live a better life with help to make sense of the past.
Manu