Undiagnosed New To The Forum, Car Accident Ptsd

[intothelight]

@Ptsd2015 Welcome to the forum!

So far I've noticed that eating well and getting exercise are really helping me feel better,

Excellent observation as a lot of time this gets overlooked and the more that you can do to keep your self-care focused on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I believe that you will find this will continue to help you with symptom management and also be an advantage during therapy. Yoga is a great tool for relaxation and to assist with the management of overall anxiety.

Hopefully you do not have PTSD and the issues brought about by the accident can be resolved. Therapy can also give you a lot of tools not only for dealing with a disorder, but that are quite useful for navigating the events of everyday life.

 

[kilp]

OP, I was in your shoes 7 months ago. Your post has me nearly in tears because it's pretty much what I wrote back then. I was involved in a head-on collision where I saw it all happen and yet could do nothing to avoid or prevent it. Other driver was in la-la land and came around a bend on the wrong side of the road. At the time, I was incredibly calm while waiting for the emergency services to arrive, probably due to having a lot of first aid training myself so I knew what was coming. That calm (or complete shock!) lasted until I got in my front door after spending the day at A&E and I crumpled. I knew at that point I was in serious trouble. I've never suffered from stress or anxiety prior to that accident but within a few weeks I knew I needed help as I wasn't sleeping - pain and nightmares/flashback related - was not in control of my emotions at all, was spiralling into a dark place I'd never experienced before (not the extreme dark place but dark enough for me), couldn't see how I was going to move forward with recovery as I'm usually so active and fit, was closing myself off from my friends etc etc. Suffered insomnia for about 4 months and the 6months post trauma were probably the most difficult of my life. Usually a confident driver, when I eventually got back behind the wheel, I was a mess. The amount of times I had to stop and pull over because every car was out to get me (obviously they weren't!). I was diagnosed with PTSD and have gone to someone over the past number of months. Now, I'm doing a lot better but to be honest, there isn't a day goes by that I don't think about that day as I'm still having chronic pain that reminds me of it. In the gym, if someone drops the heavy weights, my heart rate soars and I jump a mile. Brings me back straight away. The thing about it is, it made me question everything, I nearly died in that accident and in a smaller car, I'm in no doubt that I would have but luckily I drive a strong one and it protected me to the point that in the bigger scheme of things I did come out of it quite lightly although I have ongoing problems.

How have I coped? By being kind to myself. I'm a lot more willing to walk away from things that will stress me out. I'm as frustrated as hell and can still land on the floor bawling my eyes out, even being in the gym doing my rehab strengthening exercises will have me in tears because it reminds me of why I'm there.Being in constant pain doesn't help either. I just take every day as it comes and try and muddle through as best I can. I'm not too sure the Psychologist I've been going to was enough of a trauma specialist to be of max use to me though, she kept wanting to delve into my past which was nothing to do with why I was there at all!! So just make sure you're happy and comfortable with who you go to. This accident absolutely floored me in all kinds of ways and not something I'm used to at all. The other driver is due in court in the next few weeks for prosecution and I know I won't sleep that week.

Just be good to yourself, get the help you need, don't be afraid to ask for it. And don't be afraid to talk. Use your doctor if you have a good relationship with him and don't try doing it all alone. Also, healing takes place at your pace and on your terms, don't let friends try telling you that,"sure you must be over it now..." . You're over it when you're over it and to be honest, even though we tell ourselves, "weren't we lucky to walk away from it?", nobody really just "walks away" from a traumatic experience like that. I don't know how this forum works as I just saw your post and saw it was recent, but if there's a pm or email option on it, feel free to do so if you're struggling.

 

[TonyG]

I am a bit confused by the time frame as to when you can be diagnosed, my trauma happened thirty years ago and my first weeks after the event were terrible, I have recently been diagnosed with ptsd but I have been in a bad way for a long time.

 

[Kintsugi]

@Sighs, @Notsowild, and @TonyG, here you go. http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/PTSD-overview/dsm5_criteria_ptsd.asp

Check out the bottom where it says "Specify if: with Delayed Expression."

The reason full diagnosis is not met until six months after trauma is because PTSD's younger, more kind, vanishing cousin is Post Traumatic Stress. I have a friend who had PTS for exactly six months. Then it seemed to magically disappear. Her trauma is still difficult to talk about, but all of her symptoms are gone (nightmares, avoidance, depression, etc.).

PTSD is chronic, lifelong, and affects people on a biological level, as I understand it. No one wants PTSD. I suspect Sighs was well-intentioned in saying the symptoms could clear up. It could be detrimental for someone to think they have a lifelong disorder if they could actually resolve their symptoms within several months with the right intervention and support, y'know? :)

 

[TonyG]

Well I know I have PTSD because I have been diagnosed but I have been like this for a long time, the weeks that followed my trauma I got the courage up after a bottle of scotch, I loaded my shot gun with SG's for maximum damage and put it on the roof of my mouth and pulled the trigger, the safety was on and nothing happened, I put it down and cried my eyes out, I have had good periods in my life and bad but never that low, mine didn't go away. What I was saying is that I was affected straight away, although not recognised I was suffering with horrific flashbacks and anxiety, doctors gave me sleeping pills back then as a aid to sleep, 30 years later a young doctor sent me straight to a psychologist, healthcare has changed and people are more aware of PTSD now, it some times seems that if you fell out of bed you would be diagnosed these days.

 

[moonbeam]

Welcome to the forum.

I wouldn't say you have PTSD yet (mainly because I do not have the training or ability to give any form of diagnosis). I would say that what you are describing sounds like a normal human response to a traumatic event and you should feel absolutely no shame about that.

While I am sure everyone would be happy to offer support and encouragment you are still at a point where with right treatment you can learn to process the event appropriately and resume a normal life before it becomes full PTSD.

Additionally, I think there is a concern that if you put emphasis on the idea that you have PTSD you may feel as though you should be experiencing x or y and might make things worse or harder for yourself.

The most important thing right now is to practice some self kindness, accept that you lived through a traumatic event, give counselling a chance to help with your totally understandable response to said trauma, and try to work towards recovery. Don't worry about if you do or don't have PTS or PTSD just let yourself work with your councelor to process the event and work towards recovery and a better quality of life.

Best of luck with your recovery.

 

[Ptsd2015]

@kilp : Thank you for this post - It is somehow reassuring to hear of other people going through the same thing. Though it makes me sad to hear of all the other people dealing with such hard things, it is so helpful to hear from someone further along and doing better.
I like what you said about coping, that is 100% what I need to do - to learn to walk away from things that stress me! I have gotten in a rut where I dwell on everything and I'm just making things worse.

I have gone to counseling twice now and it has really helped. I am still very far from getting back to a normal life, I am so glad I have finally gone to a psychologist. I had no idea how much hearing someone talk about managing anxiety from a different perspective could help.

I am really really hoping this whole thing goes away and the post-traumatic stress fades. I've been dealing more with episodes of depression and it has made me feel discouraged about things and made it hard to get back up and do things again. It seems just working through these episodes is the best, each time I get past it I feel a little better.

Thank you to everyone for being so helpful and supportive. It is so hard to go through a traumatic event but it helps to know I'm not alone.

 

[kilp]

@Ptsd2015 : It's a funny thing, going through something like this, you can have all the people in the world around you, yet it can be the loneliest place to be because it's only you going through it. And yes, there are people with far worse stories than any of us out there, but this is what's personal to me or you and do you know what? It's ok to be quite selfish so that you can allow yourself to focus on you for a change and not brush it off 'sure, there are people worse off..' I remember the first time I felt a change of being able to start being proactive was when I first started to acknowledge and accept that this has happened and that it was here to stay for a while so I had to find a way to deal with it. But it took a few months to get there. Part of it as well is, if you're used to being a busy active person like me, then all of a sudden you have all this thinking time, which for me was reaaaaallly bad.

You sound like you're acknowledging what has happened and being proactive about addressing it, so things will hopefully improve for you eventually. For me, the improvement in both physical and mental was more of a monthly shift rather than weekly. I have found the whole thing intriguing in one sense as I'm usually such a bounce back type of person from anything, but not this one...it's been incredibly slow. I was actually talking yesterday to one of the paramedics who attended my accident and who I know, and was saying how frustrating it is, especially as I'm not the most patient of people!

I reckon the key (for me anyway) is to deal with the now, with what's there right now. I try not to worry about the future months although I'm already accepting that some of my more strenuous activities are going to have to be put aside for longer than anticipated. Couldn't fathom that one 6 months ago. If I'm having a low moment, I ask myself what I'm thinking and what's contributing to it, I allow myself to dwell for a little bit and then try to sweep it away and lock it off somewhere. Trying to make rational thoughts out of something that's reasonably irrational!

Best of luck in working through it, be reassured you are not alone, although I know, it does feel like it.