Sufferer New to this - difficult therapy sessions - domestic violence

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't think she realizes I'm so unprepared to delve deeper.

This. If you are unprepared to go deeper, you need to wait until you are prepared to go deeper before you do EMDR. I only did it once and it wasn't that long into it when I had a bad reaction so I am not an EMDR expert by any means. But if my experience says anything it says you need to be ready for EMDR and memory processing (which is what EMDR is) before you do it. I had an extreme unique reaction that isn't typical but it is an example of what can happen when one does EMDR before they are ready for it. And it actually set me back pretty far. It wasn't anyone's fault really. He didn't realize how deep seated some of this stuff was. But we stopped and never spoke of it again until after I worked through CBT and DBT and got really stablized on medication and became clean and yeah, just in a much better place. Now I am confident i can cope with moving memories and quite ready for it actually. Back then, not so much.

Is that good stuff? Are there good coping skills I'm totally missing out on?

My coping skills and your coping skills will look differently unless they are named like CBT and DBT is. DBT actually would be a great workbook for you to go through as it teaches you how to stablize your emotions and it has you write down on 2 index cards (that I keep on me at all times) distraction techniques and self soothing techniques. My therapist and I also have a suicide contract that we have sort of made into a therapy guide. It has a lot more distraction and self soothing things that are talored to me, what has been proven to work for me, and what I like to do. I am an artist so art in any form is great in my opinion. But my point is, I can list off all of those things and what works for me may not work for you and visa versa. These are things you talk to with your therapist and bounce ideas around, try different things, report back on how they worked, try other different things etc. There is no rush to do EMDR and in my opinion, you really need to be pretty stablized before you start moving around memories. Just my opinions so take it for what its worth.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Tibergrace so much good advice for you here. I won’t repeat it all but just to share my experience with the whole EMDR thing. I’ve been in therapy for 20 years dealing with complex PTSD. I’ve had three different therapists. The first two were well meaning but both suggested I find someone to do EMDR with me. I read all I could about it and 6 years ago found a trauma specialist. Suffice it to say, I am still not stable enough for it. When I ask him about every 6 months or so he says” first do no harm”. I still dissociate frequently as my lifetime of abuse started preverbal my. I am literally dumbstruck and cannot form sentences to describe scenes in my mind. I’ve let go of even caring if I ever try it. I have made so much progress with my current therapist and that’s what’s most important to me.

Take things one day at a time and find avtrauma specialist because you deserve the best.