After years of:
You have bipolar disorder. Here, take these pills, it'll be all better
You have borderline personality disorder. Here's more pills and go to DBT. But please, don't come back here!
You have depression. Here, take these pills.
You have attachment disorder. Here, go to this therapist and read this book.
So on and so on and so on it goes.
Now, yet a new diagnosis...CPTSD. Why should I believe this one over any and all of the others?
Because it has the merit of being based on accurate information, unlike knee-jerk diagnoses of the past.
CPTSD is often called "the great imitator" since it mimicks the symptoms of many other conditions; I was also diagnosed with everything short of manic-depression and schizophrenia, and was on SSRI's for about 20 years-- with the only result being chronic fatigue and weight-gain, which of course made things 100 time worse.
And all these types of treatment..EDMR sounds terrifying. DBT? I can't sit still with my thoughts for a second, much less get "mindfull". CBT? Been there, done that. Didn't do much for the thoughts that have made wagon wheel tracks in my brain.
NONE of these treatments have typically proven positive results, to my knowledge; meanwhile any positive effect is typically placebo-- i.e. people still feel the pain, but hide it.
Let me be honest: THERE IS NO CURE FOR THIS CONDITION, at least not at this time; and if anyone tells you there is, then don't walk away from them-- RUN.
There are things to make it easier, and treatments to help manage symptoms better; but that's the case for every condition as well- but don't let ANYONE tell you that they can "cure" it.
Yes, I had a traumatic childhood. But most people have, haven't they? I?
Obviously not, or they'd be exhibiting the same symptoms; this is why it's dangerous to compare ourselves to others, since it means feeling weak and inferior, when the reality is that it's a knee-jerk response that people have when they see us-- particularly since we've often learned to hide the condition, often out of necessity for our survival, and to avoid the shame that comes from the comparison-- as well as the incomparable stigma attached to "mental illness," which means automatic social condemnation and exclusion-- which is like cutting a hemophiliac for bleeding.
If you saw someone with hemophilia, you wouldn't cut him with a knife and say "you've got to learn to clot, and stop bleeding all over like a baby!"
But that's exactly what happens with CPTSD; even my brother tells me that my condition is "self-inflicted," and that I "need to learn to talk to people" etc- while everyone gives the old "bootstrap" speeches.
Yes, I self injure/starve. But that could coexist with any of the above disorders
It takes more than one symptom for a diagnosis.
Yes, I have horrific experiences with relationships...they are all me dating dangerous men who are "just like my father".
Which is a symptom of CPTSD, for various reasons.
Yes, Abandonment is my biggest fear.
Another PTSD symptom, for scientfic reasons.
Yes, I am in intense emotional pain and can't see a way out.
These are all symptoms of complex PTSD-- for VERY logical reasons, typically relating to abuse and neglect in early childhood; for example if a child didn't feel abandoned in caveman-days, they'd typically DIE from getting lost and "going missing," so there's a natural instinct for a child to want to avoid being anandoned.
Here with the "Baby Boom" generation, people started cranking out more kids than they could POSSIBLY keep track of; meanwhile this same generation developed a 'workaholic ethic' which took them
away from this surplus child-population-- and meanwhile they abuse the children more, often because they're over-worked, while kids get sequestered to the care of strangers, who are often abusive.... and it's then they wonder why there's so much PTSD?
Not, it's NOT a "fad diagnosis--" it's an EPIDEMIC "mega-trend."
As for repeating patterns of abuse, there's a logic to that as well.
Another therapist. Another diagnosis. I walked out feeling a little hopeful, but now, I just feel like it's yet another label slapped on a crazy woman who just can't get her shit together.
There's no doubt that psychology is pure "blame the victim" in most cases-- particularly when it doesn't respond on cue to typical treatments; I've been blamed by plenty of therapists and doctors, and been subjected to psychological torture and imprisonment etc. It's like EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU.
And it's nothing new: when Freud first began formulating psychoanalysis, it was because workers were falling ill, but doctors couldn't discover anything physically wrong with them-- and so the doctors claimed that the workers were "goldbricking" by
faking illness, in order to avoid work. In othe words, doctors over 100 years ago believed they could do no wrong-- i.e. that anything they couldn't cure, must be FAKE.
However Freud, as a physician, did something that none of the other doctors did: he
listened to the patients, and began discovering what was bothering them-- and being very intelligent and perceptive, as well as open-minded, he sought to cure the condition rather than label it.
He was also no fool when it came to social hypocrisy, and how various things are repressed by society-- particularly sexual impulses in a Puritanical culture; however in over 100 years, while there's been advancement in knowledge and technology, the mainstream
attitudes of ignorance and blame are still in full swing regarding anyone who doesn't respond on cue to prescribed textbook-treatments.
However a
correct diagnosis is not a "label," it's simply accurate information-- just because it was wrong before, doesn't mean
all diagnoses are wrong-- either it accurately describes the fact of the matter, or it doesn't.
Here I want to address the "just world hypothesis" by which most people still live and judge others, automatically labeling, blaming and condemning a person for a condition which is often well-beyond their control; for example fat people are presumed to be gluttons, depression is called sloth, anxiety is always called "irrational fear that they need to get over," etc. Basically people aren't "allowed" to be
any of these things, since "imperfections" are generally cast out like lepers; contrary to its claims, Christian society isn't as as compassionate as it claims to be, but is mostly hypocrites who simply put on airs while condemning everything that deviates from perfect adherence; and of course homosexuality was a capital offense, even though it's purely biological for the most part.
And of course the sheep follow the herd with pride-- and condemnation of those who don't;
I am sick of the therapy. Sick of the drugs. Sick to death of the pain. Sick of the diagnoses.
Tell me about it; doctors generally don't know squat. I recently put myself on Ritalin and Ativan becaue the SSRI's were only making things worse, and costing me money that I didn't have.
And after 20 years of people trying to find out "What's wrong with me" i am sick of trying myself.
Well you came to the right place, because I've been through it all, and I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.
Wouldn't it be nice to just be ok? Why can't I?
Because you have a REAL medical condition, which often
feels like it could be simply an over-active imagination or "dramatizing for attention" etc-- particularly since that's what everyone TELLS us who doesn't have it-- including the pyschological/medical establishment, which is often simply a tool to keep the people enslaved.
Here's a fact: we live in a very non-democratic society, in which we can only elect our supreme rulers-- not alter or abolish government when we choose; and that's a fact which of most people live in chronic denial; as a result, they're told to blame themselves and blame each other for problems it causes.
So stop blaming yourself-- it's WAY more complex than it looks; but knowledge is power, and an accurate diagnosis is just that.
Even if you had terminal cancer and were going to die in 5 years, wouldn't you want to know it-- rather than being told "oh, you're just hypoglycemic" etc? However of course, no one would DREAM of blaming a cancer-victim like that, or lying to them out of ignorance-- but it's EXACTLY what we do to victims of PTSD.
