Night Hags And Other Hauntings

[Shelley]

I'd really like to know if others here have experienced these kinds of things because they are some of my worst problems and they really freak me out.

Firstly, I have "Night Hag" episodes. That is, episodes of sleep paralysis where I wake up and find myslef unable to move, and with a crushing weight on top of me, like someone is physically lying on me. Quite often this is also accompanied by the physical feeling of being raped- like someone is actually inside me, and it hurts a lot. Sometimes I can also hear and feel someone breathing on me, and occassionally I hear other sounds: words or groans or mumbling. Of course, there is no visible presence on top of me, but everything else I'm sensing is so physical and so real that it's not at all like a dream. I am awake and being attacked by a non-existant being.

I can't begin to describe how much this terrifies me. When it happens it feels like it's going on for at least half an hour (though I suspects it's more like a couple of minutes). I can't move and I can't stop it from happening. I just have to wait until it's over. I can no longer sleep in the dark because of this- I used to love darkness and now I can't bear it. When this first started happening I thought the man who abused me was responsible for it. He was really good at mind control and I started thinking he must have some special abilities that allowed him to haunt me like this, cause he was extremely possessive and wanted me back. I know that's far-fetched but it seemed to make as much sense as anything else.

I also have other experiences which feel like he is "haunting" me. Sometimes I'll hear his voice repeating something he said to me, or calling my name, or I'll physically feel him wrap an arm around me when no one is near me. A few times I swear I've smelt his aftershave when I'm completely alone. I've never even come across another person with that aftershave (it was some very expensive but beautiful scent, almost intoxicating). These things happen both on the edge of sleep (hypnagogic hallucinations), and during the day when I am completely awake.

I thought for quite a while that I was going insane, but I don't feel insane- I still have control of my thoughts and actions, and all my hallucinations revolve around him. Are these things likely to ever go away? I've had them for over four years now.

 

[krystina]

Yes Vladmyra, I have woken up to that feeling many times. I don't know why that happens but it is really weird sometimes I think that I am sick when I wake up to that but then the morning comes and I feel okay and it is all gone.
It is crazy though because I get that every now and then, but I have never posted anything about it. I just think maybe that it is all in my head.

 

[krystina]

I hope that these are not hallucinations because that would make me feel even worse.
Lets just hope that they aren't!:hug::insane:

 

[Nyx]

As I have understood it, these are still flashbacks, but to another extent. I also feel everything is happening allover again when I'm about to fall asleep and am "haunted" by smells. That doesn't mean crazy, that just means the brain is signaling us there's still a lot of stuff in there and we need to get it out and over with.

 

[Crusoe]

When I first read your post I thought "No I've never had anything like that" but when you started talking about his aftershave it struck a chord. I have once or twice had a flashback where there were no sounds, visuals or feelings but only an overpowering and sickening smell. I believe that what you are experiencing are flashbacks, just without the visuals. I can only imagine how terrifying they must be for you. My flashbacks have all but stopped so hopefully these will one day lessen for you too. Thinking of you both. xxx

 

[Tirnanog]

I have had episodes of sleep paralysis and they can be terrifying. It feels like there is someone else in the room with me and I feel like I am being pinned down and smothered. It feels like someone is literally sitting on top of me and holding my arms down. These episodes always feel like they last longer than they probably do. Thankfully I only seem to have a couple of these a year and I haven't had one in a while. I read somewhere that sleep paralysis episodes can be brought on by stress.They also happen more frequently if you sleep on your back and if you don't get enough sleep on a regular basis. I haven't had the sensory experiences that you have had (i.e. smells). If you are experiencing similar episodes during the day or when you are wide awake you could also be having flashbacks. I have never experienced anything like a flashback myself but they sound terrifying. I do hope these feelings lessen for you I can only imagine how frightening they must be for you and how powerless they must make you feel.

 

[sisterinsurvival]

I too have experienced this, but it has probably been ten years. I would wake and feel as if I was smothering to death. I couldn't breathe nor move. It was mortifying.

 

[snugglepuss]

Smell is one of the strongest memories we have. It makes sense that if we smell something and it triggers a memory that it would work the other way too...if we have a "memory' (flashback) we would experience the smell that goes along with it.

I don't know if I have ever been conscious of experiening the same physical part of being raped, but I have experiences of not being able to move, or of something holding me/touching me. It is absolutely horrifying.