nightmares/ dreams and the content

[infinity4555]

is it common for your nightmares/ dreams not always have to do with the exact traumas that you are aware of but always the same theme of sexual abuse, or of being chased down and followed creepily, idk stuff like that. like i’ve had nightmares of actually traumas but then i have other ones with people i knew when i was quite young sexually abusing me that i have no memory of otherwise... just wanna know if it doesn’t always have to be the exact person or truama? if that makes sense

 

[piratelady]

I have a recurring dream of me either laying in bed, frozen knowing someone is coming into my room. Another one is where I’m trying to run away and my legs just won’t move. They vary though, but that’s the general theme.

Those make sense to me because so many of my trauma involved me having a freeze response that I struggle with.

 

[EveHarrington]

My nightmares are never of the exact trauma, but can still be quite terrifying.

:hug:

 

[grit]

I am one of those people that I can truly say dreams are the missing link of healing trauma. I have been using dreams since I was 10 yrs old to make sense of them so I could stay sane in the chaos I grew up. I still do use dreams to heal especially now that I am in intense therapy, they are godsend.
It is hard to know anyone's dreams or their meaning (maybe this is why scientific world does not want to use it as a healing tool in trauma except few lost Freudian/Jungian therapists).

Two things you must remember:

All dreams are reflection of you so everybody in it is most likely acting a part of you. So if you see an uncle you hated in the past or as a child, being hateful or doing something wrong, it means there is something hateful or bad that you are avoiding or hiding or doing etc. That uncle represents "hate" in your subconscious. Same can be said if you had a grandmother you loved or a dog etc. They will show up to bring the representation. Dreams (mostly) use symbols. So things, people, events, are symbols of feelings you have now or you had them or you will. hard to say but they represent something.

Now if your dreams involve people you loved and for sure did not sexually abuse you but they seem to be doing that in the dream (not sure if this what you mean), then without truly knowing your story because you loved these people, maybe they are trying to represent that you are loved and it is time to accept the sexual abuse of the past, they are healing you. They are connecting love (their love from you) and to your past to give you a different feeling of the experience. What happened happened right but you gotta heal by accepting and moving on. So could be that. I do not know for sure but that could be one interpretation.

The other thing about dreams is: if you do not make sense of a dream, the message will keep coming back until you actually make sense of it. This does not have to take long. You wake up, you remember your dream, and you acknowledge the feeling. for example, you had a dream of being stalked. You wake up and you acknowledge you feel intrusive or you feel grateful knowing that feeling while you were safe in your house and in your bed, whatever feeling that pops in first is mostly right. Then you acknowledge that is what my dream mean and it has to resonate as if your feeling is the gospel in your stomach and boom, the message is received and most likely the dream does not come back or comes back with much softer and easier version to understand to provide more details. Resisting nightmare dreams is what makes it more nightmarish and repetitive.

Accepting a dream good or bad, actually makes it easier for the dream to expand and give you more detailed information that is so easy to understand because you are cracking the code.

There are more ways to interpret dreams but that is it for now.

hope this makes sense.

 

[AliciaEff]

My nightmares are almost exclusively not flashbacks. Generally my abuser is in the dream somehow. He used to follow me around and try to talk to me or be friends. Lately he’s just been showing up as a silent background character.

I also have nightmares where I am being chased or assaulted by someone who is not my abuser. I don’t know if I have ever been assaulted by my abuser in my nightmares.

 

[crackinthequandary]

I have a recurring dream of me either laying in bed, frozen knowing someone is coming into my room. Another one is where I’m trying to run away and my legs just won’t move. They vary though, but that’s the general theme.

Those make sense to me because so many of my trauma involved me having a freeze response that I struggle with.

I have spoken to quite a few individuals who have had trauma. It sees to be a theme that can change up, say a monster is chasing them, or other similar symbolisms. I'm interested in the "being frozen" are you awake when that part of your nervous system is engaging, I guess para-sympathetic? I just read an article in this same category where they wake up frozen, and not sure of what day it is and similar; or is it just in your dream?

 

[piratelady]

I guess para-sympathetic? I just read an article in this same category where they wake up frozen, and not sure of what day it is and similar; or is it just in your dream?

At this point, it’s just in my dream. When I first left my ex 6ish years ago, sometimes I would wake up and not be able to move.

Some of my traumas, I would be asleep and I would wake up to someone molesting me. I would freeze every time and never stopped it.

 

[crackinthequandary]

I am one of those people that I can truly say dreams are the missing link of healing trauma. I have been using dreams since I was 10 yrs old to make sense of them so I could stay sane in the chaos I grew up. I still do use dreams to heal especially now that I am in intense therapy, they are godsend.
It is hard to know anyone's dreams or their meaning (maybe this is why scientific world does not want to use it as a healing tool in trauma except few lost Freudian/Jungian therapists).

Two things you must remember:

All dreams are reflection of you so everybody in it is most likely acting a part of you. So if you see an uncle you hated in the past or as a child, being hateful or doing something wrong, it means there is something hateful or bad that you are avoiding or hiding or doing etc. That uncle represents "hate" in your subconscious. Same can be said if you had a grandmother you loved or a dog etc. They will show up to bring the representation. Dreams (mostly) use symbols. So things, people, events, are symbols of feelings you have now or you had them or you will. hard to say but they represent something.

Now if your dreams involve people you loved and for sure did not sexually abuse you but they seem to be doing that in the dream (not sure if this what you mean), then without truly knowing your story because you loved these people, maybe they are trying to represent that you are loved and it is time to accept the sexual abuse of the past, they are healing you. They are connecting love (their love from you) and to your past to give you a different feeling of the experience. What happened happened right but you gotta heal by accepting and moving on. So could be that. I do not know for sure but that could be one interpretation.

The other thing about dreams is: if you do not make sense of a dream, the message will keep coming back until you actually make sense of it. This does not have to take long. You wake up, you remember your dream, and you acknowledge the feeling. for example, you had a dream of being stalked. You wake up and you acknowledge you feel intrusive or you feel grateful knowing that feeling while you were safe in your house and in your bed, whatever feeling that pops in first is mostly right. Then you acknowledge that is what my dream mean and it has to resonate as if your feeling is the gospel in your stomach and boom, the message is received and most likely the dream does not come back or comes back with much softer and easier version to understand to provide more details. Resisting nightmare dreams is what makes it more nightmarish and repetitive.

Accepting a dream good or bad, actually makes it easier for the dream to expand and give you more detailed information that is so easy to understand because you are cracking the code.

There are more ways to interpret dreams but that is it for now.

hope this makes sense.

That was so awesome! You're right, I think we need a return to the Freudian/Jung symbols of dreaming/consciousness. I have understood, for example that say an abuser can represent, fear or anger, " or whatever? You said,

"All dreams are a reflection of you so everybody in it is most likely acting a part of you"

It can be a part of our personality it would seem that expresses, maybe we internalize that symbol. It's like if our behavior becomes similar to how the predator would have acted, but you loathe the behavior, but do it just the same? My thinking was sometimes the memory is literal, (a reflection of what happened), but certainly they can be symbolic. This shows you too, how certain triggers we are not so aware of activate memory states. Off the subject but related to dreams, I just read an article, and it spoke about "self-mutilation", stating, and I hope I am not inappropriate, but it makes a connection..."These acts are generated out of dissociative experiences. In every act of self-harm there is more than one participant and more than one self-state. There is the dissociated part of the self being abused and another dissociated part doing the abusing. Dissociation makes possible the extraordinary feat of being the victim and the victimizer all at the same time". I have a friend that will be thinking about how much they hate their mother and would like to hurt her, and "cuts to turn that off". Do y'all get the connection of what I'm saying.. this is alot

At this point, it’s just in my dream. When I first left my ex 6ish years ago, sometimes I would wake up and not be able to move.

Some of my traumas, I would be asleep and I would wake up to someone molesting me. I would freeze every time and never stopped it.

of course, that's normal too. Would you drift above or somewhere else? So, is the dream a part of an earlier state being expressed/triggered?

My nightmares are almost exclusively not flashbacks. Generally my abuser is in the dream somehow. He used to follow me around and try to talk to me or be friends. Lately he’s just been showing up as a silent background character.

I also have nightmares where I am being chased or assaulted by someone who is not my abuser. I don’t know if I have ever been assaulted by my abuser in my nightmares.

I wonder if it's like a duality say, I love this person, but as this other person abused me, how can I trust this person,,,sort of a trust issue with others, and is this fear played out in the dream? Like the abuser did?

 

[AliciaEff]

I wonder if it's like a duality say, I love this person, but as this other person abused me, how can I trust this person,,,sort of a trust issue with others, and is this fear played out in the dream? Like the abuser did?

I’m not sure what you mean by this comment. Maybe you didn’t mean to quote me? Because it seems like you’re replying to infinity.

To be clear I’m not assaulted by people I know in my nightmares. Either my abuser is there or I’m being chased by some strange man, no one I ever recognize or love. The two times I remember being assaulted in my nightmares one was a gang of teenage boys and the other was some middle aged man.

 

[crackinthequandary]

I’m not sure what you mean by this comment. Maybe you didn’t mean to quote me? Because it seems like you’re replying to infinity.

To be clear I’m not assaulted by people I know in my nightmares. Either my abuser is there or I’m being chased by some strange man, no one I ever recognize or love. The two times I remember being assaulted in my nightmares one was a gang of teenage boys and the other was some middle aged man.

OH, I see. No, not trying to reply to infinity, just understand it, thank you.

 

[piratelady]

Would you drift above or somewhere else? So, is the dream a part of an earlier state being expressed/triggered?

The one where I’m in my bed and can’t move, it’s first person, I’m seeing it through my own eyes, just like when it happened to me. I just essentially re-experience it.

I don’t really understand the question about an earlier state being expressed/triggered.

 

[Lionheart]

My old reoccurring nightmare was to have a dark figure chase and trap me and then I would wake up terrified. My other singular PTSD nightmares were so bizarre and mentally and emotionally painful, (such as being tortured). that I won't go into details here.

Today, I am taking a medication that partially blocks the action of adrenaline in the body and helps prevent nightmares. I seldom have nightmares anymore these days...thankfully.

For me it was not the exact perpetrators or the exact trauma, but rather parts of the trauma that were most emotionally painful. Hope this helps to answer your question.