No End?

[Katherine8]

I wonder when this pain stops. Life is so hard, every day, it hurts so much. Is life worth this? How long can I go on? Or should I take a more drastic decision?

 

[piratelady]

It takes time to get through the pain and find relief. Are you in therapy? Do you have someone local you can talk to?

The answer to the question about life being worth it: Do you know what life will hold for you? How do you really know that in the future you will not find the happiness that you seek? It is a possibility I am not willing to let go of. I do not want to throw away a chance at future happiness because of pain now. Pain goes away, it just takes time and work.

 

[The Albatross]

If you mean drastic decision like seeking treatment for depression and suicidal ideation, then yes. If you mean suicide no.

Is life worth this? Yes, it can deffinitely be worth it but it takes some effort on our part.

I hope you turn this around Katherine. :hug:

 

[heidi]

Are you having any good days? Any breaks from the hard days?

 

[Kendra]

I wonder when this pain stops. Life is so hard, every day, it hurts so much.

You're not alone in feeling like this. I feel the same way.

But, I'm going back to therapy because it has helped me feel better when I was feeling really depressed. Maybe that's something you can try, too? Or maybe find some self-help books on depression/suicidal ideation?

Katherine8, where is your pain coming from? Is it coming from flashbacks and memories? From feeling depressed? From the extreme anxiety? From the way people treat you?

 

[Katherine8]

There is really no one I could talk to, because the trauma influences my ability to speak. People are the cause of the pain. I've tried therapy, but nobody is able to help me, to see who I really am. There are only a few happy moments, but only in extremes - running very far, when travelling for example. Not every day is the same, but there is always pain. I am very unhappy, all because of who I am now, have been all my life. I am desparate, and long very much for someone to understand me, to see what I have to endure. Thank you all for your kind replies.

 

[Kendra]

Hugs to you (((Katherine8))). Never give up.

 

[LostinSpaceGirl]

Katherine8 - hang in there - I have found psychiatric medication to be very helpful in stabilizing the lows and pain. Do you have a psychiatrist or could you go to your GP? That in combination with talk therapy is supposed to help. I'm still trying to figure out talk therapy, because like you, I can't talk in therapy - I disappear. But the meds do make life tolerable so that you can take steps towards recovery. Also, I am trying other therapy - like art or music - which helps express feelings without talking - perhaps you could look to do this as well... You are deserve to feel well -

 

[piratelady]

I think, in order for talk therapy to work, you have to be working with someone you feel comfortable with. You may have to go through a few different therapists until you find someone you can work with and open up to. It takes time, but is worth the effort. I encourage you to keep trying to find someone to talk to locally.

 

[sunnyd]

When I had no speech for what I was feeling I drew. I am not much of an artist but I put what was images in my head of how I felt in art. i then tried to find a word for how i felt and put it at the bottom of the page.

I did not show them to anyone they were very dark depressive but it put my feelings out there and found wording my emotions useful.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[heidi]

Maybe one day there will come a time when you will have more good days?

 

[Katherine8]

You know, writing here is the first time I admit to myself that I have ptsd. I used to have cfs, a few people know that. But nobody knows about me having ptsd. Something happened when I was very young, and I can't remember it, but I feel the results every day. It actually helps a bit to write here. Finding a therapist makes it first necessary to admit to others I have ptsd. The thought alone makes me feel miserable.

And yes there are ways to cope with the pain. But it is not a cure. I like running, which is painful most of the time, but it helps. A bit, a while.