No More " I Love You" 's?

[Angus McGee]

She was talking tonight about a broken trust between us. The night she came home from the event that started her relapse, and told me what happened, I didn't respond the way she hoped I would. From that moment on, things haven't been the same between us. So now, I'm wondering how much of our damaged relationship is from the PTSD and how much is because of that.

 

[Tinyflame]

I would think it more likely if the event caused the relapse, and she can't come to terms with either (that) event or the past, she cannot clearly sort out your words or response. Like a big ball of knotted yarn- a bunch of feelings fear etc, and no way to sort them out or make sense of it. Then you don't know who or 'how' - more accurately- to trust.

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, Junebug. That makes sense, and helps. I'm coming to grips with her moving out and never coming back. For as much as I hope she comes back, I have to prepare for the possibility that she won't.

 

[Tinyflame]

You are welcome, Angus.
I think she has a lot to fight for- you and the kids. If she becomes able to see she can and how to, she will.
(((Hugs))), my prayers are with you all.

 

[Angus McGee]

Yeah. Today was day 3 of my 4 day weekend, and I think there has been tears every day. Today was especially hard. I really need to get out only motorcycle tomorrow.

I appreciate your prayers very much.

 

[KP the nut]

Today was especially hard. I really need to get out only motorcycle tomorrow.
.

I must be honest, I don't understand the whole motorcycle thing. Please ride carefully especially if you are upset - watch out for idiot drivers.

Sending positive thoughts
KP

 

[Angus McGee]

Its unexplainable. Focusing on things other than all the thoughts in your head, being out in the air, smelling the smells, feeling the temperature changes, it's a wonderful thing. I always come back from a ride with a new perspective, and a smile.

 

[Tinyflame]

I like -whether it be on a bike or not- a momentary freedom from worry, the ability to process, a safe 'place', and where there is a reprieve from the anxiety and pressure and to 'think' and 'see' other things.

 

[Angus McGee]

In a nutshell, thats exactly how I feel about motorcycling.

 

[Foxtrot]

Hang in there man, this stuff ain't easy at all. It's a brutal roller coaster. I sometimes wonder if I have the stomach for it as well.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, carers are brave.

 

[Angus McGee]

Foxtrot, a roller coaster would mean there are peaks. To date, there hasn't been many of those.

My wife had a good point. She said that every time we are together, we're talking about this. I've decided not to do that anymore. Regardless of the talking, what's going to happen is what's going to happen. She knows how I feel. Any more words would only take away from that.

It's time to let sleeping dogs lie.