No sympathy for ppl like me

[shatter eyes]

I was told the more i tell my story the more control i have. By sharing my story i am taking it outside of me so it does not eat me from the inside out.

I dont like telling ppl i have TBI etc etc and the reasons how I got messed up but there has been times when i did tell and i connected with another person...a survivor that hid their own injuries very well.

What i really get digusted about is when some ppl abuse the labels and symptoms over something stupid and shallow like... saying they got depression because they missed a concert or having ptsd because she didnt get a birthday party. (The birthday party girl actually wrote into the paper saying she is traumatized because her friends are hung over from New Years party and dont throw party for her bday.)

 

[mumstheword]

I was told the more i tell my story the more control i have. By sharing my story i am taking it ou...

She sounds like she has a birthday around about the same time as mine ...geez, if only not getting a birthday party was my only problem!:mad:
I've actually cancelled my birthdays, as in my FOO coming to "celebrate" with me, I can't handle the farce of us behaving all "family and nice" when it's not like that for the other 364 days of the year.

 

[alienplantnapper]

I was told the more i tell my story the more control i have. By sharing my story i am taking it ou...

I understand. I was also told that talking about the things take away their power over me...
I guess im just not there yet.

 

[Friday]

I was also told that talking about the things take away their power over me...

The inverse of that is true for me... when something has no power over me I can talk about it all day long. Like shoelaces. Or celery. Or rape.

The best way to parallel it, for me, is like running.

Just running? Doesn’t do a lot for me. Whether it’s across a parking lot or a 10 mile A to B thing, just sort of running? Because it’s an emergency or a random Tuesday afternoon or everyone else is? More likely to result in my breaking myself in some way or another, and does jack shit in making other running easier, better, faster. TRAINING myself to run, on the other hand? That does a lot.

So the talking thing, is something I’ve gotten pretty stubborn about. As in training myself to do it, the same way I’ve trained myself not to react to triggers/stressors, or to be able to run any kind of distance. Thoroughly, systematically, methodically. Randomly... also happens. Whether I’ve trained for it, or not. I’ve found I’m better for having trained for it. Regardless of what the eventuality is. Needing to run 10 miles to the ranger station for an airlift med-evac, or laughing across the parking lot. Talking about deeply hard things with a friend while hurting, or sharing rememberances laughing poolside. And everything in between.

My mind? Is my motherf*cking own, dammit. I flat out refuse for it -and my body- to react & respond in ways I don’t want them to. So i stubborn up. And teach myself to be the way I want to be. Even if that takes years. Talking about It? A piece of that. Until it isn’t.

 

[CdnCopper]

You can't have symptoms without a cause. You can't get to the cause of the symptoms without talking about it. I'm not a therapist but I'm pretty sure that's the foundation of therapy.

Stories are therapy. From those stories you create bonds and realize you're not alone. From those stories you can learn new things about yourself. From those stories you can learn from people that share their stories be it something they learned during therapy, or a coping strategy they learned.

Sharing is learning. Sharing is healing.

 

[somerandomguy]

I describe whiners as people who want to talk about how bad their lives are because of things that have happened but have no interest at all in doing something to change how they feel.

Or maybe they just aren't ready to do the work yet. The above describes me for years and years. But I believe that if I had been ready and able to do the work then, I would have done the work then and not waited this long.

If that makes me a whiner, or an ex-whiner, so be it. But it might be a phase some of us have to pass through in order to get to the "working on healing" part.

 

[Freida]

If that makes me a whiner, or an ex-whiner, so be it

oh I'm right there with you in being that kind of whiner! I did the same thing for years. Then I finally decided to go forward and fight for myself.

I think in my judgey little brain I separate people who can't face trauma from people who didn't get pickles on their cheeseburgers. I know I'm harsh about it - it's one of my worst qualities. It's part of the 911 world that I need to work on because I have so little patience for those people. You would be amazed at how many times I would be working an emergency and have to put it on hold so someone could fuss at me because their cable was out.

Maybe what I think of as whiners are really people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions? like parents who want to whine to me that they need the cops to put their 3 year old to bed because he isn't listening to them, or the woman who wants us to arrest her husband because he spent money she told him not to spend....

hmmmm.... if that's true then it could be I was commenting on the entirely wrong thread...... .

 

[CdnCopper]

Maybe what I think of as whiners are really people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions?

I think anyone involved in Law Enforcement or EMS would agree with this definition.

 

[Freida]

@CdnCopper whew! Thanks!

 

[Gs172003]

oh I'm right there with you in being that kind of whiner! I did the same thing for years. Then I final...

I have a coworker that complains all the time about not being able to see his kids but does NOTHING to change it. It ticks me off. That to me is whining.

 

[CdnCopper]

@CdnCopper whew! Thanks!

Had zero patience going to a 911 neighbor dispute about someone's kids cutting thru a yard after having cut down someone that was hanging for a week. Wanted to hit them with my baton.

 

[Gs172003]

Had zero patience going to a 911 neighbor dispute about someone's kids cutting thru a yard after havi...

The things people complain about. Rediculous.

I think part of my intolerance stems with I worked in childcare for five years when my kids were little and I had alot of foster kids in my class. I have no love for parents with excuses.