Noise Overload

[Forgetful]

So today we are watching our 6 month old granddaughter. We watch her about 6 days each week. I usually love watching her, but today I'm really having a hard day.

She has a virus so she's not feeling well plus she's teething.
She is inconsolable. She doesn't want her bottle ( she is only getting Pedialyte today per her doctor). She is very tired but won't sleep. She doesn't want to be crawling on the floor or sitting on our laps. She only wants to be held while we are walking around.

She's been crying almost the whole visit ( 5 hours ). All I can think about is getting her to stop crying. On top of that my husband has had the radio on all day and was trying to have a conversation.

Any one of them stresses me out. Together I feel like I will completely lose it. I tried to let her crawl and play on the bed while my husband and daughter took a nap. They don't feel well either. What seemed to me to be many hours but was only 1 1/2 hours. I finally couldn't take anymore. I woke up my husband so he could help me. He must have sensed that i was getting too stressed because he took over. I went outside to have a cigarette and tried to calm myself then I put ear plugs in to cut down on the noise. I keep the ear plugs handy for that situation.

I told my husband about the noise overload and because of this I am unable to hold a conversation right now. He also turned the radio down. Within 40 minutes he got her asleep. He is very good at calming her down and putting her to sleep.

Now he is asking if it would be OK for her to spend the night. I asked why and he said my daughter ( baby's mother) isn't feeling well and the baby's father is exhausted, going on only 2 hours of sleep. I feel bad for them but I really don't think I can handle a whole night of this. I don't think he understands how anxious this day has been on me.

Can any of you relate to this noise overload and my stress level? Does anybody have any calming suggestions?

 

[franciemarnie]

You aren't feeling well like your daughter and are exhausted like the baby's father so I don't see why their needs take precedence over yours - unless your husband can take care of the baby mostly himself.

I would feel the same as you. If the baby stays, take lots of cig or outside breaks. Put in your plugs or if you have an iPod, listen to music that calms you. Don't let there be any radio or TV if the baby is awake. You are getting sensory overload on top of burnout. Reduce the sensory input if at all possible. Noise is stress! It's documented.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Oh Snafu, I know exactly how you feel! I have two toddler boys and there are days when I feel like running out the front door and never looking back. I don't deal well with loud noises period, let alone extended periods of it. You did great asking for help and taking breaks. Sometimes I forget those are even options. The only other thing I can think of that might be helpful is taking her for a ride in the car if that is an option. A lot of babies seem to be comforted by the sounds and motion of the vehicle. Bonus for you is being able to get away from the house and get some fresh air. Hang in there! Thankfully she does have parents to go home to and you will get your house back to its normal state soon. I hope that you sent her home if you really didn't want her to stay overnight. Sending you positive vibes!

 

[Forgetful]

Thanks guys for your replies. Just a quick update. She woke up right after my last post. So she slept for about 45 minutes. At least she wasn't crying after her quick nap.then 30 minutes before her dad picked her up she fell back asleep.

Thanks for the suggestions. I did get my MP3 player and listened to some relaxation songs.unfortunately I am unable to take her for a drive after dark. My dog ate my glasses so I only have a pair of Prescription sunglasses so I can't see to drive in the dark. She did go home and will be back tomorrow morning. Hopefully she will feel better and be happy.

I feel like a bad grandma for not letting her spend the night. I just couldn't do it tonight. I wasn't in a good place

 

[HelenB]

You are definitely not a bad grandmother. You have done as much as you can and I know the break will have been so helpful for your daughter even though you couldn't have your granddaughter over night. I would love to have had parents who would be able to help in the way you have and having limitations is not being a bad grandmother. It is being real and your needs are important too and I hope that things can be easier for you tomorrow.
God bless
Helen

 

[Jezanna]

My now adult daughter has OCD and terrible food allergies and also ADHD. She cried a lot as a baby. A rocking chair helped. Gently stroke ing her cheek and forehead , strapping her into high chair and giving her frozen wet washcloth to chew on and numb gums, car seat on top of washing machine turned on( with constant adult supervision) exersaucer and let her just learn to self soothe in her playpen. Sorry this is fragmented my iPod is dying so I'm typing quick

 

[Overcast]

You are not a bad grandma. I do not know very many grandmas who watch their grand kid for 6 days. You are a blessing that she has loving grandparents to care for her instead of sending the kid to daycare

 

[katiekat]

Ask your daughter to invest in an Ergo carrier and then you can have your hands free while baby gets to be held. Watch Happiest Baby On The Block and learn the 5 S's. Give her Motrin- ask her mom what the correct dose is. Wear earplugs as much as you need to. Get a white noise app on your phone or a Sleep Sheep. Also try swaddling with a Halo sleep sack- they feel comforted when wrapped up tight. A glass of wine helps. And as a mom of a 2 year old, let your daughter know when you have done as much as you can- my mom watches my son twice a week and it's a gift. Your daughter chose to be a mom, and you should NOT feel bad that they are not sleeping as much as they would like-it's just part of what comes with being a mom and she needs to step up and get over it and you need to start setting healthy and realistic boundaries. She might complain, but seriously, you are the child's primary care giver considering how often you babysit and it's not even your child. Sorry to get opinionated about this, I just feel like you are allowing your daughter to walk all over you and it's not your job to cater to your daughter's every need. Time for her and her husband to grow up and take responsibility for their own child.