This is the first time I've written. Recently I had a bad PTSD episode and I was not able to speak. This has happened before. I can look at the person, listen to them and process what they're saying but I'm in some kind of total lock down. This has happened before. I've wondered if it's some kind of "freeze" situation. After a few hours when I started to talk I could only cry and couldn't stop. It's been 5 days and I'm just starting to feel myself again. The past few days I've been quiet, exhausted and my already hypervigilance is even more so. I'm jumping out of my skin. People notice and it's embarrassing. I tried to think of specific triggers that happened that day. Boy friend of 5 months who started talking about ex-gf and how he's feeling depressed, then started blaming me for his depression. I calmly listened while he continued spinning things. I stayed analytical and on-point. After a few hours of this I was so tired but continued trying to help him. I think being blamed for someone else's behavior/issues was a trigger and it went down hill from there. Does anyone know about this issue of not being able to talk? I can't find any literature or therapist who knows. I would like to continue to heal. Thank you for reading. Peace.
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Not able to speak
- Post starter Blue Sky
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Deleted member 19804
Welcome to the forum, Blue Sky.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds like a terrifying experience. I have not had that problem myself, but it does sound like a reaction to being triggered. Many people (including me) have (had) a freeze reaction to trauma, so I'm thinking that maybe it's the feeling of reliving (parts of) your trauma(s) that may be causing you to "shut down" like that?
I'm not an expert, though.
Are you seeing any therapist right now? Even if they are unable to explain what this reaction means, I think the right therapist could still be very helpful.
As for your boyfriend, he has no right to blame his depression on you! Honestly, it sounds like he's gaslighting you. He should not be treating you like this.
I hope this is at least a little bit helpful. I wish you the best. Hugs if you accept them :hug:
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds like a terrifying experience. I have not had that problem myself, but it does sound like a reaction to being triggered. Many people (including me) have (had) a freeze reaction to trauma, so I'm thinking that maybe it's the feeling of reliving (parts of) your trauma(s) that may be causing you to "shut down" like that?
I'm not an expert, though.
Are you seeing any therapist right now? Even if they are unable to explain what this reaction means, I think the right therapist could still be very helpful.
As for your boyfriend, he has no right to blame his depression on you! Honestly, it sounds like he's gaslighting you. He should not be treating you like this.
I hope this is at least a little bit helpful. I wish you the best. Hugs if you accept them :hug:
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Thank you. I do accept them. :)
MyWillow
Platinum Member
I’m sorry you’re having a bad time of it.
There’s a part of the brain called Broca’s area that is responsible for speech production. In times of stress it can shut down. It happens to me in therapy when we’ve dug a little too deep and triggered a feeling or memory - but I lose vision and hearing and movement as well. It’s dissociation essentially. Very, very unsettling but a normal response to an abnormal amount of stress. It’s a sign we need to revisit self care and stabilisation. I had an unintentionally brutal therapy session this week and I’m still exhausted and headache-y four days later.
A trauma therapist worth their salt should understand this stuff in my humble opinion.
Take care xxx
There’s a part of the brain called Broca’s area that is responsible for speech production. In times of stress it can shut down. It happens to me in therapy when we’ve dug a little too deep and triggered a feeling or memory - but I lose vision and hearing and movement as well. It’s dissociation essentially. Very, very unsettling but a normal response to an abnormal amount of stress. It’s a sign we need to revisit self care and stabilisation. I had an unintentionally brutal therapy session this week and I’m still exhausted and headache-y four days later.
A trauma therapist worth their salt should understand this stuff in my humble opinion.
Take care xxx
Welcome to the forum...so sorry that you are struggling. I cannot speak post flashbacks or times when triggered or delving into trauma. During trauma the verbal part of your brain shuts down so often if experiencing that feels remotely similar it is fairly common not to have words. I have found artistic expression very useful (not necessarily creating anything realistic) having a total non-judgemental...so no thinking just feeling....maybe just scribbling, maybe throwing paint, etc. It has been helpful for me to express what I could find no words for and the first time I took some in to the T I was seeing...I could see the light bulb go on as she realized some things I had tried to express, but could not. Best wishes to you.
Absolutely. This is a thing. Why psychiatrists/therapists don't know about it? Because they are morons who claim to know trauma when they actually don't. I was kicked out of a psychiatrists office once - like serious humiliation tactics on her part - because I went mute.
Honestly, I feel like any therapist doesn't know how mutism happens with traumatized people, I say run, not walk, to the nearest exit.
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Thank you. That is great information.
Thank you. Your input is so helpful.
You made me smile and not feel alone. Thank you.
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
Wow, really?
I had a bad experience, too, when I went mute!
Why don't more professionals know about this?
I don't know.
Yes, but for me it doesn’t last as long as yours. I’ve only been able to continue to communicate in other ways with my t. With other people I can’t.
Dump the loser. He’s a turd for dumping on you and trying to justify his feelings using you as a scapegoat.
I’ve done the same with shutting down. Feels like you overloaded and locked behind you eyes... almost feels like I’m looking out thru someone else’s eyes like an avatar. I’ve also had the emotional break later on when arguing with my wife. Felt better after that... Shitty thing is I would explain this later on and she’d freak out, not verbally but you can see it in their eyes.
I had to stop talking to her about it b/c very next day she used the stuff I told her against me in a argument. Still working on that... I feel you though...
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