Not for men only - a place to discuss men's trauma issues (comments welcomed from all)

[somerandomguy]

we all get set off about particular things.

We're all here together in this particularly triggering environment of this trauma-related message board. I think everyone deserves some slack and I believe most everyone has good intentions. Life is full of frustration and we all need to test the boundaries sometimes to see where they are. I'm very, very grateful that you spoke up about it because this is a really important conversation. If no one says anything, it's just going to keep going the way it's always been.

 

[Mach123]

Sex is going to happen regardless of how you feel about it? You're not killing my buzz? Men in uniform are pretty hot according to my wife? There was nothing wrong with what I said and I couched it in kidding to be gentle. If I hurt one of those girls by my admiration of their beauty and sexuality don't worry, they don't need you to defend them, they're armed. If I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry and I hope you feel better. You were nice about it.

 

[somerandomguy]

@Mach123 - just want to be clear. The issue is not the opinion, but the place and manner in which it was expressed. I just want to be clear about this. The Thought Police do not yet exist.

 

[Mach123]

The place and manner in which it was expressed is a place we are discussing sex and gender. Are you suggesting it can be discussed without mentioning it?

 

[somerandomguy]

I'm just confused about why you are mentioning that you find women in uniforms hot in this thread. It's not really the same tone as the rest of the discussion we've been having, is all. There's probably a better place for it than here.

 

[Mach123]

It came up in my thoughts and as I thought part of the discussion? If you think it in in appropriate I'm sorry but I don't see the issue? How can you talk about "men's trauma issues" and say "what you are feeling is not appropriate here." That is what you're saying right? That's not the thought police? Women in uniform can't be part of a mans trauma issues?

 

[somerandomguy]

Nope, not saying that. You can think and feel whatever you want. It was just unclear exactly what you wanted to discuss around the topic.

 

[Mach123]

Just what I said. I like dominance from women. I've explained all that, you've read it or at least you clicked "like" in the threads. I told you yesterday you were triggered, you said no. Since seem unable to let this go, I'll just assume I was right. You are always quick to apologise and concerned about everyone else's feelings so, I will defer to you in this case. If you feel there was something wrong with what I said that's fine. I apologise. I don't think it can be taken down but that'd be fine with me. I don't want any hard feelings. It's not worth it.

 

[somerandomguy]

For the next time, it might help to put it in the form of a question. Your only question around this that I can tell was "Could I get a date?"

Ending this discussion now.

 

[Mach123]

Sorry

 

[joeylittle]

My two cents? Productive discussion happened as a result of a joking post. Including wrapping it all up, as you all have done - so I'm not meaning to re-open the topic.

In my experience, the real shit - I mean tough topics, generally - doesn't get talked about until someone or something acts as a catalyst. In other words, it's very hard to simultaneously stay on the right side of what's appropriate to say, when - and ALSO to get into the nitty gritty of these incredibly complex issues. People are gonna say upsetting things, it's the nature of the conversation.

What counts is how we react to it. And then, what happens next, and next, and next...it's a big-ass, ongoing thing. So, personally, I both learned shit from what you all said around this mini-topic, and appreciated how you were all interacting as members/humans.

Gender is real. It's a topic. It's not going away. And I appreciate being able to read and think about the experiences of men. Just my less-than-2-cents.

 

[Swift]

So there was a report that came out today in Aus:
Landmark report reveals a woman dies every week due to Australia's domestic violence crisis - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

And - for once - it's actually counted statistics of men who suffer DV including murders (one a month) and homelessness (9000 a year.)

Statistics isn't an apolitical art, so I'm really glad the report covered male victims of DV, it's about time.

Oh, and it includes them alongside the statistics of women and children, rather than a special "men's section."
I'm glad it's being seen as a part of the same problem.