This year I was headed to a fire call, I am a part time fireman and former sheriffs deputy, I was driving 5 mph under the posted 35mph speed limit. A grown man on a bicycle was headed from the other direction, a silver 4door Ford Taurus, driven by and elderly woman, went around the man on the bicycle. The car behind the man continued their approach towards me.
When the car crossed the center line I scooted off the shoulder and slowed my speed to allow the lady more room to overtake the man on the bmx bike. On the right shoulder of the road was a car slowly easing into a large turnaround area. Due to this I was limited in my ability to take the shoulder anymore than I was already.
At this time soon as the silver car cleared the man peddling hard on the bmx bike he turned a 90 degree turn directly into the center of the grill of my Ford F-150 4 door 4x4 truck! The man looked me in the eyes and disappeared into the front end of my truck! I stopped my truck in 21 feet and imedearly called 911. I got out to aid the man who was broken in every part of his body! He was not breathing nor was he bleading from any lacerations. I could not move him not could I aid him! I held his hand and prayed for him! He began agonal breathing and was slowly loaded into the ambulance! I was taken to the hospital for a blood drawl! I don't drink or use drugs! Several officers on screen stated that the man had tried to harm himself over the last 3 days! He did not survive!
I am a non traditional full time college due to the loss of my 11 year job! I've worked tons of fatality motor vehicle accidents, drownings and suicides, I have never lost sleep due to these things! This has been months ago and I have not slept. I was removed from duity until the state police finished their investigation and all blood work came back! During this time I've seen a therapist and now a psychologist who gave me 18!pills a day to take. I tried that for 2 solid months and couldn't function during this time I had a major fall and severally broke my lower leg and ankle and my opposite knee cap and my my non dominant arm and shoulder! I've sence slowly come off the mess they had me wanting to do things I'd never do and caused physical problems. Now I'm having bouts of uncontrollable anger where I'm violent, dieting these times I can't stop myself and don't even remember what has happened! I am not violent to my wife ever, not once!!!
I've joined a gym to try to help with the aggravation and anger it helps but I still have my moments. Also I'm an emotional wreck. My wife ad only ever seen my cry once in my whole life Nd that was at my grandfathers funeral.
I am no longer a happy person I feel guilt every day I wake up just for being alive! I'm a religious man and pray daily but I still can't control the hate and sadness inside of me! I loved going to collage I loved the thought of being something more than a factory worker and part time fireman again! I wanted to use my degree to become a detective in my growing town and now I don't ever want to leave my house! I hate to drive and I've sold all my things that used to make me happy! My ranger fishing boat, custom street bike, and all my smaller toys all gone because nothing makes me truly smile or feel happiness! I had to trade my truck in I couldn't even sit back in the drivers seat once it was fixed! Now I'm Broke, collage is right by the accident spot and I have to drive by 2 times a day, my truck insurance with all full everything imaginable coverage accuses me of trying to get a "pay day" for this accident that has broken my life! All I know I'd for 1 year of collage this guy was truly happy and loving life now I'm so lost I can't figure out which way is up!
When the car crossed the center line I scooted off the shoulder and slowed my speed to allow the lady more room to overtake the man on the bmx bike. On the right shoulder of the road was a car slowly easing into a large turnaround area. Due to this I was limited in my ability to take the shoulder anymore than I was already.
At this time soon as the silver car cleared the man peddling hard on the bmx bike he turned a 90 degree turn directly into the center of the grill of my Ford F-150 4 door 4x4 truck! The man looked me in the eyes and disappeared into the front end of my truck! I stopped my truck in 21 feet and imedearly called 911. I got out to aid the man who was broken in every part of his body! He was not breathing nor was he bleading from any lacerations. I could not move him not could I aid him! I held his hand and prayed for him! He began agonal breathing and was slowly loaded into the ambulance! I was taken to the hospital for a blood drawl! I don't drink or use drugs! Several officers on screen stated that the man had tried to harm himself over the last 3 days! He did not survive!
I am a non traditional full time college due to the loss of my 11 year job! I've worked tons of fatality motor vehicle accidents, drownings and suicides, I have never lost sleep due to these things! This has been months ago and I have not slept. I was removed from duity until the state police finished their investigation and all blood work came back! During this time I've seen a therapist and now a psychologist who gave me 18!pills a day to take. I tried that for 2 solid months and couldn't function during this time I had a major fall and severally broke my lower leg and ankle and my opposite knee cap and my my non dominant arm and shoulder! I've sence slowly come off the mess they had me wanting to do things I'd never do and caused physical problems. Now I'm having bouts of uncontrollable anger where I'm violent, dieting these times I can't stop myself and don't even remember what has happened! I am not violent to my wife ever, not once!!!
I've joined a gym to try to help with the aggravation and anger it helps but I still have my moments. Also I'm an emotional wreck. My wife ad only ever seen my cry once in my whole life Nd that was at my grandfathers funeral.
I am no longer a happy person I feel guilt every day I wake up just for being alive! I'm a religious man and pray daily but I still can't control the hate and sadness inside of me! I loved going to collage I loved the thought of being something more than a factory worker and part time fireman again! I wanted to use my degree to become a detective in my growing town and now I don't ever want to leave my house! I hate to drive and I've sold all my things that used to make me happy! My ranger fishing boat, custom street bike, and all my smaller toys all gone because nothing makes me truly smile or feel happiness! I had to trade my truck in I couldn't even sit back in the drivers seat once it was fixed! Now I'm Broke, collage is right by the accident spot and I have to drive by 2 times a day, my truck insurance with all full everything imaginable coverage accuses me of trying to get a "pay day" for this accident that has broken my life! All I know I'd for 1 year of collage this guy was truly happy and loving life now I'm so lost I can't figure out which way is up!
