Not Suicidal... Just Wanting To Disappear...

[mamachick]

I get it completely. I don't want to die but if I did that would be just fine. Actually feel dead much of the time. When I am feeling, it is mostly pain and I just want an escape, to evaporate. I don't want to be a burden and don't have energy to do anything about my situation, so its like I am just an onlooker watching a wasted life. I am very disconnected...beam me up !

 

[Brasichina]

Anyone else have these thoughts????

I have been feeling more and more like this. I don't know if...

Yes. your not alone

 

[New]

Anyone else have these thoughts????

I have been feeling more and more like this. I don't know if...

Feeling this way now.

 

[Tinyflame]

@Faith Andrews hugs :hug: , and all.

 

[Jennifermarie41289]

So I have ptsd aniety and severe depression after watching my 2 year old daughter bleed out after a 2 year battle with leukemia. this happened almost 7 years ago and I now have 2 other children that are healthy. That being said I still have flash backs aND anger issues that aren't in any way controllable so 6 months ago I quit my job to stay at home for a while to see if it helped but it has drastically gotten worse. I want to disappear and I feel like I'm suffocating and all I do is cry when I'm alone. Meanwhile my fiance has no idea that there is even a problem and I don't want him to think less of me so I won't tell him. I feel useless and broken and like my 2 children and fiance wouldn't miss me if I were gone. I ofter wonder what it would feel like to disappear and if they would be better off if I weren't here anymore. I don't know what to do i don't have health insurance so I can't see a doctor.

 

[Ronin]

I don't want him to think less of me so I won't tell him.

He's your fiance, right?

Meaning there's as good a chance he won't think less of you, he'll be there for you, you'll gain one more person to help you get through it.

Your children would miss you, very very much.

Are there any other health organizations in your area that don't need insurance for the initial visit, or might be able to direct you elsewhere? Is there anywhere you can go spend time that brings you even remotest relief from the grief and depression? Please hang in there, you're valuable.

 

[Leisel]

Wow it is very intense to connect with others who deal with this. It is a highly specific, toxic, like...

Thank you for this

 

[cupfish]

Thank you for this

It's what we do -- talk to our own kind about our weird brains. You can heal.

 

[Iamsensative]

It's what we do -- talk to our own kind about our weird brains. You can heal.

Oh man is this such a true statement weird brains. But beautiful hearts. I know we will all find peace. Little steps forward, sharing our truths. Healing piece by piece.

 

[Disappearing Act]

Anyone else have these thoughts????

I keep saying I want to disappear. I want my pain gone but no I don't want to die.

 

[mamachick]

Its a permeant solution to a temporary situation,,,,though I know it doest feel temporary. For me, the lack of seeing anything goo in the future is the problem....keep seeking a dream...anything that helps. Im don't discounting it-please know...I want the pain gone too...and to disappear

 

[Disappearing Act]

After 20 years of marriage my husband said he doesn't love me anymore... text book crap and so unexpected from him since we have had discussions about when this has happened to other people we know... my heart hurts so bad... I have had this thought that I just want to disappear... it is sad to see that I am not alone in my thoughts...