Not Sure How To Connect With People When Minor Stuff Makes Me Lose Many Spoons!

[Deleted member 541]

Why do we have to use a "different" term for what we actually mean? Why use the term spoon, when you mean something entirely different? It just causes a shitstorm of confusion and then people get upset.

Why not just say what you mean in the first place????? Makes more sense to me. But hell, I'm old and not worth the shits and giggles of things anymore. So if this is confusing, just ignore me....

 

[anonymous]

Everyone please ignore my thread.

I am sorry that I caused confusion.

I am sorry that I did not ask for help in the "right" way (which is sadly becoming a theme here I must say, criticizing people because you don't like how they reached out for help).

I will stop posting until I can make sure that I can do it in the "right" way.

I was using terminology which I have seen used numerous times. I mistakenly thought people would understand. I was WRONG! I cannot apologize enough it seems.

It's just sad that the main issue that I posted about is dead, buried, long forgotten, and ignored because people rather criticize my use of the spoon analogy.

 

[anonymous]

Although I do see the great irony in posting about rejection and then my post gets rejected.

LOL.

 

[anonymous]

Well I tried to repost without the spoon analogy and mods seem to have deleted it.

Please no discussion that criticizes my choice of words. I have clarified what spoons are. I will consider the criticism of my use of "spoons" as off topic and I'm requesting no off topic chatter.

Please, I am requesting help for my original issue as nobody yet has actually given a response to that issue due to misunderstanding what I am saying.

Thank you.

 

[anonymous]

Well I tried to repost without the spoon analogy and mods seem to have deleted it.

Please no discus...

Edit re last paragraph. Missed seeing one reply earlier. My apologies.

 

[Never_falter2]

Don't worry. You did not waste our time. I am happy to know what the spoon analogy means now.

 

[ladee]

I hope I am understanding what you are asking.
Please correct me If I am headed in the wrong direction.
Sounds like you really want to connect with people but if anything, big or small feels like rejection it sometimes takes you days to recover.
Won't go any further until you have a chance to reply so I don't head the wrong way with sharing with you. Ok?

 

[anonymous]

I hope I am understanding what you are asking.
Please correct me If I am headed in the wrong direction.
S...

Yes that is correct.


I thought about it for awhile and I realized it was incredibly stupid for me to make this post!

Instead of being out there in the real world and working on my problems I cowardly post on the Internet, cause drama, and waste other people's time.

I realize that all my threads lately (lol all 3 of them) are like this. Pretty pathetic, huh?

I mean there are people out there with much bigger problems and I feel like I have the right to complain about something so insignificant about having relationship issues?

Again I'm sorry for wasting people's time. This is stuff I should know how to fix on my own. I mean if 2 year olds can make friends then I should be able to, too!

 

[ladee]

There is nothing insignificant about your question. It is very hard for some people to interact with others.
Happy that you replied. That is why we are here, to help each other. We don't compare trauma. Your issue is important as you are having an unmet need and are asking for feedback.
We are all sensitive to rejection.
So since I am not clear whether you are leaving the thread....please let me know if you want me to proceed with suggestions and experience.
No one asks stupid queustions. We are all trying to make it in a world we don't always understand. With people who don't understand us.
Let me know and thanks for replying.

 

[anonymous]

There is nothing insignificant about your question. It is very hard for some people to interact with othe...

Yes, I would like to hear your suggestions and about your experiences. I just don't want to waste anyone's time. Thanks.

 

[ladee]

I get it About loosing your spoons. A term used here frequently.
So lets work with that...spoons.
Do you Have a list you use for how many spoons it takes to get thru the day?
If not try making one.
If we are having a bad day it takes more spoons and we may be depleted and not be aware. Then we step out to try somthing new and we are already in a deficit. Is this making sense?
You do have great insight to yourself. That is something to be proud of. You know what you need and want and are just not sure how to get from point A to point B.
Using the spoons again... After you have spent some time seeing how you use your spoons during the day may help you to not try making friends that day.
This is going to sound simplistic, but if you have a spoon left over...then take the risk. If you are out of spoons and do it, you are starting in the red the next day and it is exhausting
We need new ones to start our day
So possibly you can give attention and energy to making sure you have your daily needs met and have something left over.
It may take work and concentration on your part but it will be worth it.
Let me know if this helped or made sense.
There is nothing wrong with you it just takes time.
I hate it that we have to work so hard for normal things. But you are aware so that makes you ahead of the game.
Don't give up on yourself. And we are here For you. That's what we do here. Help each other on our healing journeys.
Gentle hugs if you accept and I truly recognize and appreciate your willingness. This recovery stuff is hard work
You can do it!

 

[anonymous]

I get it About loosing your spoons. A term used here frequently.
So lets work with that...spoons.
Do you...

I haven't made a list of how many spoons it takes me to get through the day. I know what activities require them, which activities require a lot, and such, but I've never made a list. I'm constantly borrowing from tomorrow just so I can feel normal for a day.

Right now I'm feeling incredibly stupid for using the spoon analogy. I feel incredibly ashamed because now people have the impression that I'm an incredibly angry person who blows up at people for no reason at all. A number of months ago I was chastised here on the forum and told that the spoon thing is just an enabling tool, a BS excuse for not pushing myself to get better. All of this just makes me feel incredibly stupid. Maybe I am using the spoon analogy as an excuse and I should just push myself at all costs. I don't know. Is that what healing is all about? Pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion? Maybe I should mention that I have a diagnosed physical issue which does indeed zap my energy level, sometimes quite significantly. (I've had it since I was a teenager.) I already beat myself up constantly for not healing, so those thoughts of worthlessness in my head get so much worse when confirmed by an outside source.

I will work on making my list of spoons. I am ashamed of some of the things on the list though.