Not Sure If This Site Is For Me But Can't Find Help Anywhere!

[Bert]

My name is Bert, my wife suffers from PTSD from childhood trauma.

When we got together she was a loving and caring person who was the world to me, she has in the past few years started having flashbacks of repressed memories and that person has vanished. I love her, or at least who she once was, and can't just give up on her.

We have been trying to get her help but it does not seem to be working, she will be "nice" for a week or two then slip right back into the person she has become. I don't know how to deal with it and feel guilty because I know it is a sickness but sometimes I just can't handle it.

I am looking mainly for hope I guess, because although I have always been strong with hope, it is wavering from me as of late and I fear the worst. If I am in the wrong place just let me know and I will vanish, if anybody can help or has any ideas please talk to me.

I will be on here looking through old topics searching for answers and inspiration.

Thank you for your time.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Bert,

Welcome to the forum. You are doing the best thing at this point with research and finding information.

In your post you mentioned "nice" and then the backslide. You may want to isolate the main issues that are causing you the greatest distress at this point, and search for those topics.

Wishing you peace.

Debbie

 

[Bert]

Thank you, since posting this I have also found the carer's part of this forum and am already learning things, the boundaries idea has been made very plainly that it is an important thing so I will start by setting those boundries. I know some of what I read here I might not like but I want to be helpful to her and am willing to try anything to do the best I can. My greatest distress is the emotional and verbal abuse, physical is limited and I can handle that better anyway. Bust like a bee searching this forum, I am so glad I found it and so glad it is here! Thanks for your reply!

 

[amethist]

Hi Bert

Welcome to the forum, and yes you have found the right place for help and advice.

It is hard for both carer and sufferer, harder still if you have no professional help, maybe it is time for your wife to find a good therapist. Not only is the getting help important, your wife doing all she can to work WITH the therapist is vital too.

It will not change over night, it takes time, sometimes years to break through the barriers. There will be set backs along the way, times when she says she cannot do this anymore, but fighting the demons is the only way to go forward.

Come down to the carers section, where you will find a lot of information of how to help yourself, as well as your wife.

Take care and don't give in fighting, either of you.

Amethist

 

[blueangel371115]

Hi,
Glad you're here. Support and security is key. I agree with the previous posts.

 

[Bryan]

Hello Bert - I can relate. My wife has Ptsd too from childhood trauma. Its been a loooong 7 years and I don't really see any end in sight since she won't even really admit its a problem. I wish you the best and maybe we can bounce stuff off each other. The boudaries thing...my own version of it anyway...was one of the things I had to do to survive after I myself fell into deep depression after 4 years of sleep deprivation, yelling and screaming, accusations of nearly everything imaginable, and much weeping and gnashing of teeth...on both our parts.

Yeah, I still love her but it is a miserable existance much of the time...I hate to say that but I'm just keeping it real.

God bless - Bryan

 

[anthony]

Hey Bert, welcome to the forum mate. Nice to see more partners here supporting their spouses.

 

[Grace11]

Welcome, and you are doing an incredible job by researching this...I usually do this and present the info to my boyfriend, but it's hard for him to get that I'm unable to get over it despite his own trauma. Men and women are very different creatures (usually) brainwise, so learning and informing yourself is so good.