Noticed Something For The First Time Today

[invisible survivor]

wow what a day. My DM came to grade my store today. I hate anything out of the ordinary so I spent all day checking and double checking to make sure sure I had done everything right because he didn't come till four o'clock. When he did come he was talking to me and he kept saying "look at me when I talk to you." And that's when I realized that I don't look people in the eyes EVER! I have never noticed this. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know why I can't. He told me that it didn't seem like I was listening to him when I wasn't looking at him. I was listening. I really was but I just couldn't look at him. I don't look anyone in the eyes. Does anyone else find themselves doing this? I wonder why I can't?

 

[AdamAnt]

I'd think that it's pretty natural trait of someone with an avoidant nature. Maybe you're just afraid of conflict?

I've heard it's a sign of savant level extreme intelligence and that it can perhaps be a sign of autism too.

How exactly extreme is your eye contact avoidance??

 

[invisible survivor]

Pretty extreme I would say. But I just can't make myself do it. I don't know what I am afraid of. But I do know that when he told me to look at him it made me feel sick all of a sudden. I know this sounds crazy but that how it was.

 

[AdamAnt]

It's not crazy. There's a better nomenclature for it I'm sure. From a quick google, I gather it's congruent with avoidant personality, which fits right in with your PTSD diagnosis I'd think.

I hope you enjoy fixxing this now that you've recognized it....I can't imagine not having the joy of looking into my favorite peoples eyes, and if that feeling becomes something new for you then your life is about to get alot better!!

 

[invisible survivor]

I hope your right but I wonder how long I have done this and why it makes me feel so awful when someone wants me to.

 

[AdamAnt]

Don't worry about the wrong thing...you have a wonderful gift waiting once you get through this.