Now i'm scared - therapy changing to emdr

[Still Standing]

Ok, I have a question. Therapy is changing to EMDR. Because I have the curiosity of a cat, without the nine lives, I have made the mistake of reading back posts concerning EMDR. The reactions that some of you have/ had with EMDR scare the beejeebers out of me :eek:! I have to tell you that the fear of possibly FEELING :wideeyed: and CRYING :wideeyed: has my stomach churning. My head says to run or just quit therapy, ...I can live just fine the way I am. I so want to bail. IF this is how I react with EMDR and then have to deal with the aftermath, can I do it on my own? I mean, are there any of you who do this therapy, as a single person, with no support? Are you able to cope well enough? What do you do to help yourself? I'm still working on involving hubby as my support person. I mentioned to hubby that I wanted him to read some information of about CPTSD and EMDR. He reacted very disinterested...like I was disturbing his time. Now I am not sure that he will be onboard to understanding this whole therapy stuff. On top of that, he travels so often that he is only home for a couple of days a week. So, even if he is willing to work with me, he probably will not be available. Is it enough support utilizing this forum? Maybe these are silly questions but they are not meant to be and I don't mean to be a whiner. (:stop:no horror story replies, please...my ability to shake in my boots is already dialed up to "high".)

 

[somerandomguy]

You can do it. If you feel and cry ... that just means it's time for you to feel and cry.

Honestly I have never heard any horror stories about EMDR. And I liked it, actually. It can be tough ... but you're strong - even if you may not always feel strong.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[shimmerz]

I have to tell you that the fear of possibly FEELING :wideeyed: and CRYING :wideeyed: has my stomach churning.

There's no other way out of this I am afraid, @Still Standing . I haven't allowed myself to get to the crying part as I am afraid that the tears will never stop if I do.

I think if EMDR is something that will help you move through that fairly quickly, then do it.

If you have no supports to help you, have you spoken to your T about their commitment to supporting you off hours if you need the help? Best of luck to you!

 

[Hopeforlife]

You can do it! Just let it flow. It might come together and you feel and cry a lot but exactly what somerandomguy says; it’s just time for that to happen and show yourself some compassion. I am currently doing EMDR work and it is tough. I am 3 sessions in with it and can already feel some benefits. Small steps. My husband is supportive but he gets very awkward talking about ‘stuff’ so I just keep it brief if we are chatting about therapy etc. I second what shimmerz says about support outside T hours. I have pretty strong boundries so my T knows if I contact her then it is important. Usually I WhatsApp to let her know then send an email with what’s going on and we either see how I go until the next session or she fits me in her schedule somewhere. Talk to your therapist about how you feel about it. If you have a good therapist they will help guide you. Good luck and sending lots of strength.

 

[Rumors]

Ok, I have a question. Therapy is changing to EMDR. Because I have the curiosity of a cat, wit...

I have done A LOT of it and am happy to private message with you about my experiences if you think that would help. I have no support other than my therapist who has been simply incredible with supporting me through some tough stuff. I imagine it has been hard on her as well, but I have been grateful for the help.

 

[Friday]

A lot of people loooooooooove crying :wtf:

I am not one of those people.

I can recognize intellectually that some people find it cathartic, enjoy it at some level, etc. Cheers! More power to them. For real.

For me, crying makes everything exponentially worse. Mentally, emotionally, & physically.

I had a therapist who didn’t take me at my word there (everyone else has “got it”, different strokes for different folks, and all), until he saw what happened when I did start crying. At which point he not only never pushed the “healing” :rolleyes: idea of crying on me, again, but several months later got back with me after having been to a psych symposium where he proposed the concept to several seasoned trauma therapists (he was MFT transitioning into trauma therapy)... and he was like “Did you know!?! They totally agree with you! Maybe at some point later on you might be able to cry and have it be okay, or at least, not terrible...but they said for some people crying is not only a bigger sign that they’ve decompensated than them slitting their wrists in your office, but can cause people to decompensate. And some people? Never cry. Or only do the tears of joy, thing. And are completely okay. So no more worrying about how to get those cathartic tears going, yeah?” (Um. I was never worried about it. YOU were the one keen on me bawling my eyes out. Not me.)

So... personally... I just chalk up people talking about all their awesome crying as personal preference. Not my thing. And that’s okay. Just like it’s okay if it is their thing.

 

[shimmerz]

but can cause people to decompensate.

This is super helpful to me. I have a T trying to push me to crying right now and I am losing my shit over it. It is a huge trigger to something I haven't dealt with and I don't know, I can just feel that crying is not okay. Especially as life is settling in.

Much appreciated.

 

[Still Standing]

I guess it is going to be a wait and see. I'm with Friday and Shimmerz about crying. But, who knows what reactions will take place, huh? All these emotions are nuts. I need therapy because of therapy!!! Thanks for all your responses. I wish I can say they settled my heart. I know, Freida, (;);)) "baby steps". I'm gonna enter the therapist's office, taking baby steps and if they are small enough, maybe the hour will be up before I get to the couch and then I can high-tail it out of there before he can put his hand in front of my face!!!!! I wish.

 

[Freida]

baby steps! LOL you beat me to it!!!

So I've been doing emdr for a little over a year and it sucks. I won't lie - it will be one of the toughest things you have ever done. But when it works --- the results are astounding!

Here's how it was explained to me.... when you have an experience of any kind it sits in the front of your brain. While it is there it is real. You can see it, touch it, smell it. It is still present tense. When you go to sleep at night, the event processes into long term memory in the back of your brain and it becomes past tense. You can remember how you felt, but it's from a long way away so while it might be a sad/scary/angry memory it's just that - a memory. In ptsd the memory of the event never leaves the front part of your brain - so it is ALWAYS in present tense. Cue hypervigilence, nightmares, flashbacks.

EMDR helps the memory make the jump into past tense but to do that you will pretty much re -experience the memory - and that sucks!!!! But when it works it's like a switch flipping -- you go from having nightmares and horrible intrusive thoughts to thinking about it as something unfortunate that happened once upon a time.

Your EMDR person will do a whole bunch of grounding exercises with you to set a "safe place" you can go to if it gets to overwhelming before you ever start the process. And you are always in control -- so you can stop the processing at any time. This is important to remember -- you can't push yourself -- you have to let your brain run around on its own.

It is well worth it and not something to be afraid of. Just know that it will be challenging, you will need to practice lots of self care and try not to take on any big task or things that need lots of extra brain power until you know how you will react.

 

[Still Standing]

So I've been doing emdr for a little over a year and it sucks....

Thus the oversized forehead?!:laugh: I knew I looked funny, now I know why! Seriously though, that seems to be a good explanation, thanks. I have also downloaded a book called, "Getting Past Your Past" by Francine Shapiro about EMDR. Maybe it will enlighten me a bit. One can hope...