Firstly to all those that have suffered the pain of kidney stones, I now can say, I know what you mean about pain!
All was normally in Nuggets life stayed up till the rest of the house had gone to be, watched the idiot box for a few hours and wandered off to bed about 2:30 am, then out from nowhere the pain in my right lower back was incredible (I thought jods had stabbed me!) Not sure what the hell was going on, I crawled out of bed and made way to the shitta, Christ I couldn't need a shit this badly I thought to meself.
By the time I made it there I was knackered the pain was so f--ing bad all I could do was throw up, so for the next two and a bit hours, there I was naked, in pain, dry as a dingo's fart and could not move. I finally made it out to the kitchen had a drink sat down, couldn't see any stab marks, so I thought it must be a bad case of the flu starting.
Soon the house was starting to wake, best put the best man face on for the wife, I'm tough I can stick it out, after a bit of batner with the wife about my health issues, she went to work (not her choice). I had to take young booga to kindy because it was his Christmas party, his last day of the year. And of course I had to make an appointment with my GP (that was the wife's choice). So I'd dropped the boy off at kindy hobbled back to the car, smoked six smokes, and headed home for some rest, back home to eat all the painkillers left in the bottle, then it dawned on me I'd been up for nearly eight hours, never had a wee, strange for me with diabetes normally its twenty times a day, ahh well it must be this damn flu, with the pain still sitting on ten out of a scale of five I went back to pick up booga from kindy then off to the doctors.
By the time I made it to the doctor's office I was f--cked, I could no longer walk, the pain had beaten me, I held out for most of the day but like a cheap Kmart tent I folded under pressure. Once the doctor had seen me walk in he knew something was up, he got me to lay up on the bed pushed and pulled, seemed to ask all the right questions (shit no wonder he's a doc). Mmm I think you may have renal colic, shit where did I catch that from, no its the term for kidney stones, ah shit.
He shut me down quicker than a TV station would do to the local news reader dropping the "f" word at prime time viewing. That's it, you my friend are going to the hospita, OK I give in, he had slipped me some painkillers while he wrote out my letter for the hospital and made a few phone calls. The pain had started to drop off just a wee bit not much but a bit. Shit all I have to get myself home and wait till my wife gets home and then I will brave the hospital, no no no said the doctor you are not leaving my office till your wife picks you up, shit but I've got the car, stop making excuses so the doctor rings the wife's work and gets her to come and take me to hospital, mmm reckon she was happy with me, shit I thought it was the flu.
Christ here we go sit down the hospital waiting room for 6 hours I was thinking, but we walked straight up to the nurse handed over my letter and she handed back two painkillers, you beauty been here two minutes and I'm on drugs. So it's off and sit till we are called with the rest of the cattle. Well bugger me by the time I was back with my wee sample a nurse was there with the shit to take bloods, heart, and what nots, five minutes later I was on a bed getting wheeled into a room, lucky me.
By the time the brakes had been put on my bed, my doctor was there asking, pushing, prodding, with me drunting each time she pushed in my lower back, time for some pain meds, have you ever had morphine before, shit I start to think I'm a bit crook if I'm getting a bit of morphine, so with drip all set away we go with a bit of the good gear. Thirty seconds later I'm asked how's my pain doing, well shit I'm a first timer morphine taker best do some quick thinking, still f--ing hurts, OK we'll give you another shot, there I was laying back in bed couldn't feel a thing waiting for the rush up my arm then around my body, it's free!
They give me five minutes to have a rest, all night and most of the day wiped out with two shots of the big "M" now I'm feeling like I could walk right out of the front door, its bakc to more pushing and prodding. Now we are going to give you another form of pain relief, bring it on, I'm still floating around the room without a care in the world. Just roll over and bring your knees up as far as you can, me in the fetal position isn't a pretty sight let alone on a single bed wearing a hospital gown, then bang fair up the shitter, the biggest tablet I've ever seen in my life, thank Christ I didn't have to swallow it.
Give it 10 minutes and it will take effect, bloody hell I haven't come down from before, but its free and while I'm pain free I will take all I can get. So my doctors back to see how I'm doing, f--ing fantastic thanks, but she starts to feel and push again, shit how many times do I have to say thats like sticking a knife in my back. But she tells me she can feel bloating from my lower back to my groin, mmm maybe because I haven't had a piss for nearly a day might have something to do with that, its OK you will relax soon and it will happen.
I nearly filled a bath tub without blinking, shit she's back again, more tests, this time its down the front of my gown, mmm, here's me high as a kite young female doctor rolling my boys around in her hands, shit it felt good, let's just say its true about "it" having a mind of its own. Well a few hours have passed by now my pain is under control a pocker full of drugs till I have my cat scan.
OK so I've had my scan and I'm off to see my doctor but he's on holidays so I see his stand in, he had a lookg and tells and shows me that in fact yes I do have a kidney stone in my left kidney and a calcium thing growing on my prostate. Well I'm booked in to see the urologist at the hospital he can sort all this shit out, well two days later my doc rings me and wants to see me straight away, Christ what now, well we are in his room scans up on the light board, and him pointing to my stone, what's all the fuss about everybody agreed on the same thing it was kidney stones.
With a stern look on his face he told me the stone we were looking at was in my left kidney, all my pain was in my right side, my right kidney was still swollen, why did the doctor check my boys, so on and a bit more. So I'm back off to the hospital for another anal search and another scan to see what's going on inside of me, and why I would be so lucky to have kidney stones in both kidneys and just to top it off some obstruction on my prostate which stops me from peeing, and as I was walking out he said how's your PTSD going, well that's another story on its own, and that's where I will leave it until my next scan.
NUGGET.
All was normally in Nuggets life stayed up till the rest of the house had gone to be, watched the idiot box for a few hours and wandered off to bed about 2:30 am, then out from nowhere the pain in my right lower back was incredible (I thought jods had stabbed me!) Not sure what the hell was going on, I crawled out of bed and made way to the shitta, Christ I couldn't need a shit this badly I thought to meself.
By the time I made it there I was knackered the pain was so f--ing bad all I could do was throw up, so for the next two and a bit hours, there I was naked, in pain, dry as a dingo's fart and could not move. I finally made it out to the kitchen had a drink sat down, couldn't see any stab marks, so I thought it must be a bad case of the flu starting.
Soon the house was starting to wake, best put the best man face on for the wife, I'm tough I can stick it out, after a bit of batner with the wife about my health issues, she went to work (not her choice). I had to take young booga to kindy because it was his Christmas party, his last day of the year. And of course I had to make an appointment with my GP (that was the wife's choice). So I'd dropped the boy off at kindy hobbled back to the car, smoked six smokes, and headed home for some rest, back home to eat all the painkillers left in the bottle, then it dawned on me I'd been up for nearly eight hours, never had a wee, strange for me with diabetes normally its twenty times a day, ahh well it must be this damn flu, with the pain still sitting on ten out of a scale of five I went back to pick up booga from kindy then off to the doctors.
By the time I made it to the doctor's office I was f--cked, I could no longer walk, the pain had beaten me, I held out for most of the day but like a cheap Kmart tent I folded under pressure. Once the doctor had seen me walk in he knew something was up, he got me to lay up on the bed pushed and pulled, seemed to ask all the right questions (shit no wonder he's a doc). Mmm I think you may have renal colic, shit where did I catch that from, no its the term for kidney stones, ah shit.
He shut me down quicker than a TV station would do to the local news reader dropping the "f" word at prime time viewing. That's it, you my friend are going to the hospita, OK I give in, he had slipped me some painkillers while he wrote out my letter for the hospital and made a few phone calls. The pain had started to drop off just a wee bit not much but a bit. Shit all I have to get myself home and wait till my wife gets home and then I will brave the hospital, no no no said the doctor you are not leaving my office till your wife picks you up, shit but I've got the car, stop making excuses so the doctor rings the wife's work and gets her to come and take me to hospital, mmm reckon she was happy with me, shit I thought it was the flu.
Christ here we go sit down the hospital waiting room for 6 hours I was thinking, but we walked straight up to the nurse handed over my letter and she handed back two painkillers, you beauty been here two minutes and I'm on drugs. So it's off and sit till we are called with the rest of the cattle. Well bugger me by the time I was back with my wee sample a nurse was there with the shit to take bloods, heart, and what nots, five minutes later I was on a bed getting wheeled into a room, lucky me.
By the time the brakes had been put on my bed, my doctor was there asking, pushing, prodding, with me drunting each time she pushed in my lower back, time for some pain meds, have you ever had morphine before, shit I start to think I'm a bit crook if I'm getting a bit of morphine, so with drip all set away we go with a bit of the good gear. Thirty seconds later I'm asked how's my pain doing, well shit I'm a first timer morphine taker best do some quick thinking, still f--ing hurts, OK we'll give you another shot, there I was laying back in bed couldn't feel a thing waiting for the rush up my arm then around my body, it's free!
They give me five minutes to have a rest, all night and most of the day wiped out with two shots of the big "M" now I'm feeling like I could walk right out of the front door, its bakc to more pushing and prodding. Now we are going to give you another form of pain relief, bring it on, I'm still floating around the room without a care in the world. Just roll over and bring your knees up as far as you can, me in the fetal position isn't a pretty sight let alone on a single bed wearing a hospital gown, then bang fair up the shitter, the biggest tablet I've ever seen in my life, thank Christ I didn't have to swallow it.
Give it 10 minutes and it will take effect, bloody hell I haven't come down from before, but its free and while I'm pain free I will take all I can get. So my doctors back to see how I'm doing, f--ing fantastic thanks, but she starts to feel and push again, shit how many times do I have to say thats like sticking a knife in my back. But she tells me she can feel bloating from my lower back to my groin, mmm maybe because I haven't had a piss for nearly a day might have something to do with that, its OK you will relax soon and it will happen.
I nearly filled a bath tub without blinking, shit she's back again, more tests, this time its down the front of my gown, mmm, here's me high as a kite young female doctor rolling my boys around in her hands, shit it felt good, let's just say its true about "it" having a mind of its own. Well a few hours have passed by now my pain is under control a pocker full of drugs till I have my cat scan.
OK so I've had my scan and I'm off to see my doctor but he's on holidays so I see his stand in, he had a lookg and tells and shows me that in fact yes I do have a kidney stone in my left kidney and a calcium thing growing on my prostate. Well I'm booked in to see the urologist at the hospital he can sort all this shit out, well two days later my doc rings me and wants to see me straight away, Christ what now, well we are in his room scans up on the light board, and him pointing to my stone, what's all the fuss about everybody agreed on the same thing it was kidney stones.
With a stern look on his face he told me the stone we were looking at was in my left kidney, all my pain was in my right side, my right kidney was still swollen, why did the doctor check my boys, so on and a bit more. So I'm back off to the hospital for another anal search and another scan to see what's going on inside of me, and why I would be so lucky to have kidney stones in both kidneys and just to top it off some obstruction on my prostate which stops me from peeing, and as I was walking out he said how's your PTSD going, well that's another story on its own, and that's where I will leave it until my next scan.
NUGGET.
