Odd Flashback

[RosieNorth]

A couple of months ago I experienced a flashback like I've never had before. It happened while walking down the street in broad day light(unusual for me). I got a glimpse of something that was so horrifying to me that I could only allow myself to feel it for a second. It happened when I was small, around 6 maybe. My whole body was a mass of pain but I don't remember why or what was happening. The only other thing that I remember was a kind of intense and disabling shame.
I had the feeling that this is some kind of "core" trauma, the first or worst I don't know.
Since then i've had many episodes of shaking or convulsing. The rheumatoid arthritis that I had during the decade after leaving my abusive father is back.
Oh the doorbell is ringing , Thanks for listening

 

[RosieNorth]

Back again.
I can't help feeling that the arthritis in all my joints, along with the feeling of fever that you can get while recovering from bad injuries comes from this horrible "whole body in pain" experience.
Has anybody had a similer experience. I would appreciate any feedback or ideas.

 

[anthony]

Rosie, honestly I wouldn't dwindle on this too much just yet, because the more you continue to learn the more you continue to work on yourself, your brain will open up the memory if and when it feels capable of doing so. The better you get with symptoms, basically you brain will interpret that it now has more capacity to unleash suppressed memories in order to deal with. Without external coaxing, ie. EMDR, the brain will release memories as it feels safe to do so that you are never that overwhelmed to cause brain damage. EMDR can cause brain damage if suppressed memories are present... naturally allowing your brain to release memories... no fear other than these memories will come to light for you to deal with. Yes, they will make you violently ill in the process, but your brain works in a way to help you, not hinder you.