Off Work & Being Talked About...

[RiverSong]

Hello all. I am new here, just registered. This seems to be a very safe & supportive place.
I have been off of work since the end of April due to PTSD flare up. I went inpatient for 7 days at that point & have since been back in weekly therapy & trying to deal with the situation that triggered this flare up. I may be going back to work in August but also am exploring the possibility of applying for disability due to both psychological and physical health issues.
One thing that is stressing me out worse is that I have heard from several people that I'm being talked about by a few people at work because it has gotten around that it is for mental health issues & got out that I was hospitalized for depression/suicidal thoughts. There is one person in particular at work who is just not a nice individual to say the least. He talks badly about anyone who has to call off or be off for any minor and sometimes even major medical reason & talks even worse about them if it's anything even possibly psychological. I am apparently now one of his conversation pieces. Thankfully no one has told me details of what he's said because that would really do a number on my anxiety/self esteem but just knowing he's saying very mean things is hurtful & makes me feel worse about myself & I then obsess over what he may be saying.
All I know is that he's saying things about me being "nuts" and "crazy" and then also said I'm probably just overreacting to life because everyone has it tough but that I just can't handle it so I want to give up & collect "mailbox money" instead of working.
He has no idea what's actually wrong, how long I've suffered with mental illness or what happened in my life that caused the PTSD. It disgusts me that he could talk this way about anyone & makes me really mad & I'm already having a problem with my anger coming out right now & how to deal with it. I know he is not worth letting affect me & I'm doing my best not to dwell on it but it's hard.
Any advice from anyone who has dealt with a similar situation?

Thanks so much!
-River

 

[Neverthesame]

I have been where you are. It's easier said than done, but there's nothing you can do about it.

People are going to talk, it is not nice, but it will happen. Worrying about it is totally pointless. You have enough to deal with as far as what you are dealing with right now.

That is where your mind needs to be. On what you can do to recover, work out your return to work/disability paperwork. That's what's in your world that you can do something about.

What the office windbag is whining about, is of no consequence to you.

I also want to think about this ok. You said yourself that this guy likes to bitch and moan, about everyone and anyone who goes off sick, right? I assume then that this is common knowledge around your place of work?

Everyone knows he's just a whiney little bitch, right?

If so, you don't need to worry. Everyone there knows he's just whining about you, because he likes to whine. If no one takes him seriously about anyone else, you'll be no different. Just the latest target of the office douchebag. No one will care, neither should you.

Honestly, this is how this sort of thing is.

f*ck him. Worry about you.

 

[Ladoria]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm in a similar situation. I was off for a month from a flare up and I had to return when my T was leaving for a 3 week vacation.... I lasted about 5 days. My store manager harassed and discriminated me since I disclosed PTSD and my colleuges like to gossip so I know I'm a target for their petty ridicule. Now I'm not going back until I have a plan! My advice is to think and write down any thoughts feelings fears dealinv with work and talk to your T. The biggest thing for me and I'm hoping its what will save me... If your T doesn't have some certification like "MD" at the end of their name be clear and ask if they will have your back- my T says she isnt able to fill out paperwork without great difficulty and many denials so I'm working with my psychiatrist to send short term disability and FMLA paperwork. (If you're ever in need of those) but, its not your fault they're uneducated on something that affects 1 in 5 americans. Youre perfect the way you are and fheir opinions only reflect who they really are. Good luck.

 

[whiteraven]

Really sorry you are dealing with this. I agree with the others that, in most cases, there's just nothing you can do about it. Some companies, though, have a very strict policy regarding the confidentiality of their employees' personal health information and do not tolerate the kind of behavior you describe. They usually require the employee file a complaint about it, though. My company is one of them. If someone is on leave for a medical reason - or even if they are out for a day having a test - it is understood that we are not permitted to discuss the specifics with anyone or we can be disciplined and/or fired (depending on the nature of the information revealed/discussed). We are a medical/health company, so we are held to a little higher standards.

 

[ladee]

I think the first thing I would do is tell the person or persons who told you to begin with, to not say anything else to you about it... what kind of friend would tell you that nonsense to begin with... ???

I personally do not care what others say about me.... but being the 'target' at work is very unpleasant.... but could you get really quite with yourself and write about what is REALLY bothering you about this jerk talking behind you back??? It would possibly be different if it was someone you cared about or said they cared about you..... you might try 'thought stopping' if your brain gets off on a tangent about this jerk... just tell your brain to stop and do what is right in front of you..... takes all the energy we have to take care of ourselves.... and using any of that energy on him is not fair to you.... and hopefully there will come a day that you find there is no reason to be ashamed of having 'mental issues'.... every one we meet and come in contact with has some mental issues.... I can almost promise you that....

 

[Friday]

Just a note, since this thread is seeing new activity, that the date is from summer of last year. Not this summer. While definitely a relevant issue to many people, the OP hasn't logged in for over a year. If this is a current issue for anyone, I'd recommend starting a new thread. :)

 

[whiteraven]

Thanks, @Friday! I never seem to know what year it is. :-)