Okay, Another One Of Us In Here, It Seems?

[Ronin]

or there isnt any time to say anything.

Try making that time, perhaps? ;)

You could also start at another ground: 'I can't manage it comfortably / with ease.... but I can manage it.'

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Even with a complete detailed explaination of what happened; I still cannot recall the stuff that happened. It's simply gone

 

[Ronin]

Maybe stop looking right now, then? It will come with time, when you've stabilized more.

 

[Stickler]

Hmm...I used nondominant hand writing once...

You ask the questions out loud, then write the answers with the hand you do not usually write with.

( I guess if you are the rare ambidextrous person, you are screwed. )

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Like, even after nearly 2 years, no memory. I have the whole thing mapped out, I could re-create what happened. But I have no memory of it happening. I was very stable at some points, and very unstable. Nothing made the memory of angry mode come back, other than, like, one. BUt that was some serious business, one single memory, while I was on the absolute edge

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Stickler
I am practically ambidextrous, such shitty writing from dysgraphia, that it's the same with both :P But I really don't know, I guess I could try, no harm from that (proceeds to be murdered by alien hand, wait, that is actually a medical condition *remembers googling that*)

 

[Ronin]

But I have no memory of it happening.

You may not be ready, Saelben. I don't mean psychologically, either - it takes quite a time for D.I.D. defenses to ease up naturally, and it's even more difficult to persuade the rest of one's head to chill when, hello, there really ain't no reasons to chill, as there's ongoing trauma with y'all life.

What concerns me with this the most is you mention the kind of self defense that could land you, physically, in jail, and having no recollection of how far you go.

So if it's anger as a main emotion, as an opposition against helplessness: How do *you-you* deal with anger? What healthy ways of coping with anger have you learned? (Asking because some times, taking away the edge of what alters usually handle... takes away the need for them to be so sharp. I can take care of myself, stop sorting it for me, kind of thing.)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hmm, well. Anger anger? I mean, I put it into stuff, like, training, or doing some work that takes energy.

Luckily, the anger one hasn't come out in a while, it's been really rare lately, but it's sort of not that much of an anger cause, as I wasn't angry when the mentioned happened, I was feeling in danger, the guy spat on me. Triggered me witht that, and that was it

 

[Ronin]

Got it.

What makes you feel you can rely on yourself in times of danger? That you've got the situation covered, even when difficult right now?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hmmm, well. Not sure, having something in hand.

 

[Ronin]

Okay.

Can you keep the sense of how it feels when you've got something in your hands in mind, even when you don't have that something with you?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I could try. I am really suck at analysing my own feelings though. So I am not even sure what exactly helps with some of the stuff