Oregon ( Southern ) 25 Year Old Girl Ptsd Need Help :*(

[Lil Red Robin Hood]

Thanks for the messages!

I haven't been able to get online lately, partly because of my living situation. My depression meds are messed up along with my other meds...I actually slept for over 24 hours....

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow so hopefully I can get help. Scared that something bad will happen. Worried I won't wake up. Worried the doctor won't do anything to help. Worried about everything.

Will be able to get on more now that my friend is home, which is good especially since helps to get the stress down.

Love you guys!
Robin

 

[Ron]

I hope everything gets better for you soon Robin! Good luck tomorrow! Sincerely, Ron.

 

[ButterflyPEI]

Robin,

I admire your strength and determination. When life is throwing you curve balls, it makes dealing with all the bad stuff even harder. You show so much strength though as you continue to keep at the fight.

Keep on keepin' on girl, you give me hope!

Butterfly

 

[Nicolette]

I called 911 and told them he would die but no one believed me and then the next day he died and it is my fault because if I hadn't called 911 maybe he wouldn't of done it and maybe I could of found some other way to stop him.

Nobody understands that it's my fault I might as well have held the gun..

I'm a little late on commenting on this but will say, if someone is determined to take their own life they will do it however they can. If you stop them today and someone else stops them tomorrow, it doesn't mean that on the third day, with the same mindset they will not try again.

You actually owed your neighbor nothing but gave him all you could - trying to save his life. That's a big ask of anyone and a shitty situation to be in. I'm sure he's now at peace and recognizes what you tried to do. Unfortunately for him he had decided his journey would end. You were just in the wrong place and the right/wrong time as you gave him a chance to live which he didn't take - that's on him and not on you in the least.

 

[AmyO]

Dear Red:

I know this may not help much but hope that it will give you a better understanding. I know Southern Oregon. I ran from there to get away from my ex. (GP). I had times I would just pass out for at least three years before I left. Three Rivers would take me to the ER, give my way to many pain shots and tell me to go home. I moved toward East Coast and within a month was diagnosed with narcolepsy along with PTSD. They are supposed to have mandatory holds they just don't enforce it. And the police...They were right outside my house talking in a lot they were parked in while I was getting beat inside. One actually saw me getting hit and they got in the cars and drove away.

While your guilt seems natural, you can't put this on yourself. It will take time, I won't lie about that. But someone who truly wants to take their life will do it one way or another, there is no stopping that once the decision is made fully. You were let down by the system over there, I can attest to that. I spent five years longer in my hell because I was told at every turn "We can't help you."

You tried to do the right thing. But I do understand the fact the guilt keeps coming back. I still feel guilty that my boys were molested, even though I didn't find out until we had left the state. Oregon hasn't prosecuted him and his friends yet. But someday, I hope with all my heart you will be able to see that you did try or you wouldn't have made that call. I have had friends that committed suicide that even though I would sit by them for days, sometimes weeks, they always carried it out the day I had to go home. Good luck with the test. I am not sure if you are feeling happy or sad, but either way I wish you well.

 

[anni]

I'm always worried the doc won't do anything, no matter what I'm going there for! Always genuinely surprised when the appointment goes well, as I'm sure yours will too.

All the best with this. Do take care.

Anni

 

[KP the nut]

(((Robin)))
I had missed you. I hope your appointment went well. I still stress about seeing my T, play in my mind conversations I want - and those I don't.
Hang in
KP

 

[Lil Red Robin Hood]

((((Hugs to all))))

So the place I was living in turned out to be a bad situation, and my mom is letting me stay at her house for two more weeks (I've spent the last two here) before I have to leave. Missed everyone on here so much. Hard not to have anyone to talk to. Test turned out negative if I didn't get to post that before...which is good considering my situation. Hoping one of the jobs I apply for will turn out, don't know what to do if it doesn't.

I started seeing new doctors and they are taking me off some of the meds my old doc had me on. She had me on some that I have been having really bad reaction to (including having to go to hospital, yuk). One of them is a counselor and I like him. He says that I am upset about my friend because if I don't take the blame it means I was helpless. Maybe I am a control freak :p

In the middle of having ALL of my teeth pulled. Not completely happy about that. Plus I keep passing out and they have to give me oxygen lol! They told me I needed to take anxiety meds before I came in. Had 5 or 6 teeth pulled this last week and now I have 14 left... The dentist told me that none of my teeth were "viable" and that given how they were I should have gotten dentures years ago...like when I was in my early early 20s... He said some of it was genetic, just how my teeth were so I don't feel like a complete idiot.

Well, gonna go now. Very tired. Oh to AmyO: TRCH is where Craig went, they didn't hold him. He had even admitted being suicidal in front of the police who took him there. I'm sorry for what you had to go through there. Never thought I'd see someone from GP on here lol.

Night!
Robin

 

[anni]

Hi Robin,

I haven't had a tooth out for a very long time but do remember it's just not pleasant so can't imagine your long ordeal! Hopefully it won't be long before it's all taken care of and you're smiling again with teeth which will cause you no more problems. It's nice to see you back here, and I hope it's some company and comfort as you go through all this.

Please do try to take extra wonderful care of yourself where you can, and I'll be thinking of you.

Anni

 

[Lil Red Robin Hood]

I can't handle all this stress. I have nowhere to live in about a week, my mom says I can't stay longer. My brother has other places to live but she's going to let him stay there. I'm not going to have anything left. It doesn't matter what I do anymore. By the time they are finishing my dental work ill be in a shelter. How are you supposed to feel like anybody cares if nobody even cares if you have a place to sleep? It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try. What the hell am I supposed to do?

 

[angelheart]

Just a big hug for you tonight.((()))

 

[anni]

That sounds more than awful. Is there any possible chance she'll see that you'd be nowhere, and at least let you stay there until there really is somewhere you can be, Robin? Is there any friend who might be able to find a couch for the moment, or spare room until you heal properly and are on your feet? It's tough to feel as if anyone cares, I know, when in the midst of things which hurt so much from family, of all people on the planet but you do matter very much. I know it doesn't feel that way because of other's actions but that's their genuine problem. They've caused very real problems for you, however. I'm so sorry. I've seen your compassion for another human being, and hope this can come back somehow to bring you a solution to a horrible worry.

Hugs also,

Anni