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Overcoming Denial
by Debra Moore, Ph.D.
Denial acts as a buffer, giving us time to absorb the full impact of an upsetting experience or shock. It is helpful at first, but not if it continues.
You can ask yourself if any of the following signs of denial are present in yourself:
- You feel as though you are in a daze, are easily distracted, and are not fully perceiving things around you.
- You are going through the motions with little awareness of those around you.
- You are concocting fantasies to explain what has happened. You are misinterpreting what others are saying or doing.
- You are less efficient, and small tasks appear very complicated. You are obsessing about minor details and avoiding larger responsibilities.
- Your emotions are blocked. You feel mechanical or you may explode easily, taking you and others by surprise.
- You feel a variety of aches and pains which are unexplained. These are signals.
- You avoid situations that bring you into contact with a reality you want to avoid.
Some of the feelings behind your denial may be:
- Fear of getting worse
- Fear of losing control.
- Anger at being ill or in pain.
- Anger at you or others for not understanding what it means to be sick.
- Anger to medical personnel for seeming insensitive or indifferent.
- Frustrated by mixed feelings about reaching out to others. Their is often a conflict between wanting company and wanting to be left alone. Reaching out takes energy, which is in limited supply when you are sick or in pain. Trying to hold a conversation can be tiring or even exhausting.