Overcoming intrusive thoughts

[KwanYingirl]

I think this is a good place to post my question. I struggle with intrusive thoughts more than the general
Public. The problem with it is that it morphs from fear to depression to wakefulness. All just a way to stop the thoughts. Intrusive memories are my most hated result of PTSD. Some times they last for 3-5 days. Knocks me out for awhile. I used to use drugs, alcohol or cutting to deal with them. I wonder if there are ways to banish the thoughts.
Supposedly I am told to not to become attached to them. Instead learn to let them move.
Does anyone have a technique that works to stop the intrusive/flashback?

 

[Missycat]

I can understand how difficult this is for you. Do you have grounding techniques ? i use one called ‘dropping the anchor’ - take 10 secs to do the following-:
Push your feet hard on to the floor and straighten your back
Take a slow deep breath
Look around you and notice 5 things you see
Listen carefully and notice 5 things you hear
Notice where you are and what you are doing
What can you feel ? Is your skin hot / cold?This is a basic grounding technique but i found that if i can sit and focus on this then it helps me re focus and not get lost in the ‘flashback’ or ‘noise’ thats in my head.
If i catch it in time i am sometimes able just to let the flashback hit and pass through.
I hope you are able to find something that works for you.

 

[shatter eyes]

I was going to share about the 5 things 5 senses too.

Dbt i use cold water or ice cubes.
I also carry essential oil earthy scent or mint.

Same boat as you managing those thoughts and T telling me to not attach myself or think of thoughts. Kinda hard to ignore thoughts... ignoring them is tiring.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes, grounding is important, I wish I could remember that when I’m being sucked into the movie reel. I have a couple of apps that have short meditations that focus on breathing. But I just lose it sometimes and drift away into the miasma of my thoughts. Grounding. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a vaccination for intrusive thoughts? I must be doing better tha I used to be, because I don’t act compulsively. Which is to say I don’t cut or overmedicate. I don’t really understand the attachment thing though. It’s a concept that I can’t identify with. Is this like how people put their thoughts into a box or a cauldron and leave them behind?

 

[blackemerald1]

I too struggle with intrusive thoughts. My technique is to get up and do something physical. Not always handy in the middle of the night though. :rolleyes:

I have found the more I let my thoughts wander, the more they will.

So it feels in my case intrusive thoughts are habit forming. I try to work hard to break the habit.

I just find my brain so wayward at time's. Very frustrating.

 

[Missycat]

I remember my T doing some work with me on intrusive thoughts and the fact you think so hard about not having them you almost invite them in! I did see an improvement when i stopped trying to battle or fight them. My T did a recording for me , she is talking to me as she would in session when i would dissociate or get upset - this was for when i was probably at my most vulnerable state and my SH was almost daily. This really helped - maybe your T could so something similar?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Thanks all. I’m sorry that we suffer despite trying to get normal. @Missycat i will ask him to dictate something into my phone. I’ve had my Shaman send me videos via text message, but they drop off after a few days. If I can catch myself before I’m in the deep end, I take a shamanic journey. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes before my brainwaves change and I go into a trance. When I can get to this state, I fall asleep and stay asleep. Damn, I go down the rabbit hole, ugh. I made a good dinner for myself, first meal since last Monday. At least I’m hungry, that’s progress!!
I’ve been sidelined by this conflict with a neighbor that waged a hostile theft of my porch. So invasive, I mean what kind of psycho do you have to be to do that?? She has violent rages towards me for no reason at all. Totally unprovoked. I’m considering asking for a Protection from Harassment order but I really don’t have enough solid evidence and two workmen that witnessed her barging into my unit and going berserk won’t write anything for me to take to a judge. I’ve blocked her from my phone and e-mail because she cyber bullied me for a few years.
These episodes are very troubling for me. And she has no remorse or apology. Asshole.

 

[blackemerald1]

@KwanYingirl are your intrusive memories and thoughts about trauma past trauma or from the ongoing situation with the neighbour?

I think that would make a big difference to me and how I would be able to handle them.

Having the stress and risk of her abuse happening and at risk of happening every day on top of ptsd puts those thoughts, if they are about her and what she does, more in the situational stress area.

I don't necessarily think I would call them intrusive thoughts if it's an ongoing situation. Maybe you need to have those thoughts if they are about your crazy neighbour because for now, that's what is keeping you safe. This is more like the stress cup is too full... what do you do when that begins to happen?

 

[KwanYingirl]

@blackemerald1 thats a good question. I do know that I replay how I’m going to defend myself against her. But the memories of her behavior don’t turn me into a scared little girl. They make me angry and I do find myself at times wondering what she’ll do next. I think the stress makes me vulnerable to the intrusive old memories. I have been trying in therapy to talk about the content of them. I’m dumbstruck when I try to put words to them. This is the hold the perp had on me. Don’t speak. I know what a relief it can be to speak of where I’m stuck. Tomorrow I will have a session with my T we’ve been working on this. I dissociate, I get back to now, he tells me what I was talking about, I talk, I dissociate, re redirects me, this goes on for the whole session.
Here’s another thing I think is going on: I think my addiction to Xanax is playing out. I’ve been overusing it over the past 6 months. The drug wants me to be reaching for it. Just Luke alcohol. Anxious, then self medicate. So I try to use less and it’s a slippery slope because my hands tremble when I reduce the amount I’m taking. I decided that I’m going to continue to reduce my dose, which is low, but still I know I crave it.
Tomorrow I’m really going to try and stay in my body. Probably the dissociative state I revert to unhinges me. So this last month has been one of loss. Loss is a huge trigger for me. My mom died and it was the anniversary of my best friends death. So grief is mixed in. But it’s the damn memories of abuse that I have no control of.

 

[blackemerald1]

Here’s another thing I think is going on: I think my addiction to Xanax is playing out. I’ve been overusing it over the past 6 months. The drug wants me to be reaching for it. Just Luke alcohol. Anxious, then self medicate. So I try to use less and it’s a slippery slope because my hands tremble when I reduce the amount I’m taking. I decided that I’m going to continue to reduce my dose, which is low, but still I know I crave it.

Well if nothing else let me give you some support whilst you get off Xanax. I had a battle with it too. The trembles and anger outbursts are common when reducing or stopping it. I got down to 0.5 mg once a day and even then it was having a detrimental effect on me. So many bizarre symptoms ALL attributable to that tiny little tablet. It gets into the brain and causes havoc.

Those tremors are not because you need Xanax, it's the Xanax telling your brain to find more Xanax.

If your anxiety is high and you are working hard to reduce it try getting off the Xanax completely. You may be very surprised how anxious it is making you all by itself.

 

[Mach123]

Yes I had this but nothing ever worked but drugs. (Sorry). I used to call it "having an episode." Which it was. Having to return things at the store is one of my favorite examples but all of life was just space between episodes and trying to get relief.

I don't have them anymore and I pretty much control it myself. I have "momentary lapses of reason" but it usually stops at that. My wife is the only thing that puts me over the edge now and only when she makes me feel unsafe, which even that's like "nobody should be able to do that" but, when she goes behind my back (which she does) it starts that "I'm not safe" thing and I do have problems with that.

It's gone though mostly and I guess getting better is feeling safer because for me all that was about never having anyplace I could feel safe. I always knew nowhere was safe and it had to come from me but I couldn't do it. I didn't know I had trauma or CSA though but I knew there was definitely something wrong with the whole episode thing. I used to call it "grinding." Like a dog chewing on a bone.

I'm very sympathetic and I hope you feel better because I know this is really horrible I'm sorry.

 

[KwanYingirl]

So Friday and Monday, I got dizzy and nauseous and then pain in my left arm. Monday I went to the doc to get my blood pressure taken-normal- she sent me to the ER to rule out a heart attack. My EKG had some abnormalities, but I maintained that I was having emotional reactions and withdrawal from Xanax problems. That’s what the doc decided too. I felt really lousy. Last night I had massage and reiki. That combo helps so much. I’m grieving my Mom, not too many intrusions I’m taking a short mindfulness break if I get a bad memory and during reiki, I started recovering memories of my mom being very loving and comforting. Of course she had no idea that I was being abused, but I required a lot of comforting that she always gave me. Memories that were buried under the shit pile of abuse. This had a very positive change in me. I’m going to try to replace the abuse tapes for memories of feeling safe and cared for. Hopefully, more memories of loving kindness will be recovered.