Saelben- I SO know where you are at! Albatross, I know you are trying to help, but I think telling someone to "put their thinking cap on" is a little on the harsh side when talking about eating disorders.You are in a very vulnerable place, and yes Yay, you know it's not right. step #1 done. Step #2, BELIEVE in yourself that you can do better and know that none of us are perfect. I binge eat at night after my husband has gone to bed, I hide food evidence, I've even purged because I feel so awful about what I've done. But the thing you need to do research on is WHY are you turning to food as comfort and as a friend. What is missing. What do you need to change in your life so that you aren't trying to fill this hole with substance that doesn't judge you, makes you feel full when you mentally do not. It takes time. Yes, make healthy choices on snacks, but I know just as well as you I could have a refrigerator full of almonds, fruit, tomatoes and broccoli but late night comes, that bad voice comes into my brain, and I will literally drive to mcdonalds at 2 am if there isn't grease in the house. It's almost like I'm comforting yet punishing myself. A total up-hill battle. But read things, write things on the fridge that remind you not to turn to that behavior, go to therapy, do whatever you can do to counteract that voice and that desire to eat or binge eat. Even if it's to tell yourself you may feel great while you taste it, but after, you beat yourself up.
P.s, getting a work out buddy is always a plus!! It forces you to go more and helps a lot if you have a food "oops" :)
