PandaPower
Learning
Hey all,
Just making this thread to vent.
I experienced a relationship for the first time between end 2018 to beginning 2020. I was happy for some parts, but it was such an onslaught of unexpected triggers and non stop confusion. We are still in touch because he "wanted to be a constant presence in my life" but i still don't know if I can trust him or not, or if he was right for me, whether he is an emotionally safe person or not, whether i made the right decision or not to end things, i just have no clue.
All the advice given to me was along the lines of communicating, so I did that, and for the most part tried to do it in a non hurtful way with owning my stuff , but I always feel so tired and depleted and not understood afterwards, even if he says all the right things. And then I just want to run. And when I'm triggered, I know I don't let there be space for his feelings and he feels like he has to walk on eggshells to not trigger me.
Urggh ..just such a mess. I have asked him for space now because I can't deal with all this on a daily basis but it sucks. Coming to terms with the fact that it just might be too painful for me to be in relationships.
Thanks for listening ❤
Just making this thread to vent.
I experienced a relationship for the first time between end 2018 to beginning 2020. I was happy for some parts, but it was such an onslaught of unexpected triggers and non stop confusion. We are still in touch because he "wanted to be a constant presence in my life" but i still don't know if I can trust him or not, or if he was right for me, whether he is an emotionally safe person or not, whether i made the right decision or not to end things, i just have no clue.
All the advice given to me was along the lines of communicating, so I did that, and for the most part tried to do it in a non hurtful way with owning my stuff , but I always feel so tired and depleted and not understood afterwards, even if he says all the right things. And then I just want to run. And when I'm triggered, I know I don't let there be space for his feelings and he feels like he has to walk on eggshells to not trigger me.
Urggh ..just such a mess. I have asked him for space now because I can't deal with all this on a daily basis but it sucks. Coming to terms with the fact that it just might be too painful for me to be in relationships.
Thanks for listening ❤