Paint Trains Smoke Dope

[TomMelburn]

So, I don't really know what to say. I guess I came here to try and deal with my PTSD.

I was diagnosed a year or so ago after speaking to a psych about some things that happened when I was young. I have a very patchy memory of my child hood, and I've always wondered what I was feeling, why I had trouble concentrating and getting on with things, why trouble seems to follow me.

Never had I been to a counselor before last year cos I never wanted to deal with myself, but I was pretty much looking at alot of jail or death and I didn't want that. So I went and saw a doc and now I'm here. I have been on meds for about 9 months but I don't feel like they work and to be honest I've taken enough drugs for this lifetime, so I guess I'm looking for a drug free way to live my life.

For me at this point in time PTSD means paint trains smoke dope, because graffiti and marijuana are the only 2 things that make me feel normal. I guess it makes me feel a little positive about my situation, using that mantra. I know smoking is not really a positive investment but it keeps me sane, and painting trains gives me something to think about. Its about the only time I am completely focused.

So I hope to take the positive lessons to be learnt from what I am going through/doing and use it to build a way to live my life normally for once.

Sorry for grammar etc.

Obviously not the best English student ha ha.

 

[blueangel371115]

Welcome
There is a wealth of knowledge. I just purchased a book on PTSD that had many treatments for PTSD. It's called The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Glenn R. Schiraldi. I highly recommend it.

 

[glasgow]

Hello TomMelburn, I laughed at your post (with empathy) because marijuana was one of my staples for about 4 years. The medical profession are still wavering over it's efficacy with PTSD, but I found it helpful though costly, and my GP was encouraging. I no longer use it because of the paranoia, although less intense versions of the plant would probably be OK. It was great for meditating and listening to music.

The painting I have been part of too, but not on trains! I am part of an art therapy group which has been extremely useful for me. I can't paint/draw which is a bonus because everything I do is unconscious. I have moments of utter pleasure when the therapist explains her interpretations of my work, which to most people would just look like splashes of colour, but are actually meaningful concoctions. She also has some very sneaky ways of getting stuff out of us which is clearly related to whatever our issues are. I relish the art work. The therapist bases her interpretations on the work of C.G. Jung a psychotherapist/psychiatrist plus her own creative/learned knowledge. Jung is a favourite of mine, because his work includes aspects of spirituality/creativity often missing in current therapies. Jung died in the 60's but was way ahead of his time.

It would be interesting to know what you painted on trains, and why you do it on trains. You don't have to answer of course, but it clearly represents a creative outlet for you.

Good luck with it all.

Glasgow

 

[Marie E.]

Welcome to the Forum Tom!

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi Tom

Welcome to the forum.

 

[blueangel371115]

For me, right now, PTSD means People Turning Stronger Daily. No one can beat me now. I won't let them.

 

[glasgow]

Haha blueangel, I always refer to it as stpd (stupid). I like People Turning Stronger Daily too!

 

[blueangel371115]

I try to remember that as I'm relapsing lately. The worst symptoms are back. Grr.

 

[glasgow]

Oh you poor blueangel! I am just emerging from the depths which have been going on since before xmas. I'm on a different medication so fingers crossed. It had been a black time.
Hope you feel better soon.