Panic And Resolution

[Srain]

I'm at the point where everything is puking out of my head through my fingers and mouth...it's embarrassing and it seems to be coming from within, with the urgency of panic :ninja:

I'm afraid. The days are going by so fast again and each time I get up o see where I am, how I'm doing, I seem to get clubbed and kicked in the gut with "stuff". By the time I begin recovery another week or so has passed and I'm further behind.

I want to stop the clock!!! :cry:

 

[olaja]

Please, hold on! I hate time periods like you are describing.

It happened to me again recently. I decided to experiment and use crayons to access my inner child. All I did was doodle, and I ended up on a ten day anxiety streak.

I am so grateful when the high anxiety passes and I can recover. I understand why you would want to stop the clock. If I ever truly considered how much time I have lost, I would go out of my mind.

 

[Sterre]

I'm at the point where everything is puking out of my head through my fingers and mouth...it's embarrassing and it seems to be coming from within, with the urgency of panic :ninja:

(((Srain))))
Why is it so embarrassing?

When I feel the anxiety or panic come up, I try to focus on the physical feeling of it. I try to keep my head as clear as possible. I try to stay focussed on what the panic wants to tell me in order to find the trigger that caused it. I try not to become overwhelned by the anxiety and panic.
I dont always succeed, but sometimes I do.

There are also some grounding techniques that you can do.
Try to count five red/blue/yellow/white/pink.....ect. things that you see
Try to listen to five different sounds you hear in your surroundings ( ticking of a clock, cars outside, wind blowing trough a tree....ect.)
Try to feel five different sensations going trough your body. ( the way your back is leaning against the chair. the way your fingers are touching each other, wind blowingin your face, a hair that is tickling your neck....ect....)

Then go down to four things in a row.
Then three things
then two
then one

If you are not grounded yet, start again....

Hope this helps some!

Hang in there Srain!

 

[Srain]

I am trying to unscramble the time frames.

I have to yet again, push some things back. It's just the way it is.

Thank you for getting that slippage of time, Olaja, mostly I try not to look at it as a whole but at times like this it does begin to overwhelm me and I begin to feel that deep within tremble of sheer freak-out, screaming, panic!

Sterre, I don't know why it's embarrassing, all things I share intimately are embarrassing but yours is a great way to look at it. I will try to remember that today as my timeline winds down on me again.

I got my tdoc appt in, I got some wrapping done, still another TT appt today and decided to move back shipping date, still have to get my insurance figured out.

Keeping panic out of my head and gut is crazy hard right now...I breathe and it's catching in the back of my throat.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Sterre- that is a great post! Diversion tactics using the other senses. This is something I utilize frequently- and it does often help. Getting the brain to truly focus on something, anything else can really help the panic/anxiety attacks. It also helps me when my tinitus acts up and increases in volume and causes insomnia.

Srain- hugs to you. Be patient and kind to yourself.

 

[Sterre]

Keeping panic out of my head and gut is crazy hard right now...I breathe and it's catching in the back of my throat.

(((Srain)))) I can so relate to the description of how you feel right now!

Maybe it can be of help, if your mind is clear enough, to just repeat to yourself that you are not in danger anymore. You are safe. There is nothing or no-one that can hurt you anymore. This is present time, not the past.

In the present time, you are safe from harm.
You are safe
You are safe
You are safe

Anxiety is nothing more than a physical sensation. It will run trough your body, and it will pass. It will go away again.
It will give you very unpleasant physical effects, and it will make you feel like you cant stand it anymore.

You can!
It will pass, it will go away again. It is just a physical response of a trigger. It will pass!!!!!!

I learned that if I fight the anxiety it will become worse. I have to let it run trough my body and wear of, sometimes I will take a xanax if it gets to intense, but lately I try to stand it, and not fight it. It is much easier said than done, I know.
The anxiety in itself is no signal that you are in danger, it is some kind of awful stress release of your body.

Keep breathing trough your belly.

Hang in there Srain!

(sorry if I ramble about techniques to cope with the fear...)

 

[intothelight]

(((Rain))),

Hang in there. There are times I wish time would slow down enough so I could breathe and catch my bearings. But many times it is the anxiety and panic that is driving the time clock.

You've gotten some great advice here. Sometimes when it is really bad, the only thing I can do is stay in the moment. I fight just to remain where I am and not go careening down the flash flood of feelings and thoughts. Find your lifeline and hang on, as the raging torrent will subside.

Deb

 

[mamachick]

(((Srain)))
Sorry you are feeling this way. At first I thought that you were feeling overwhelmed with emotional stuff you are dealing with, but after reading your following post, it sounds like the demands of your physical life is creating a lot of the anxiety. There are many good suggestions posted for dealing. Mindfulness has helped me before and I think I will dig a book out and read it again. A really good book is "Emotional Alchomy" dont know author off hand but can find out if you like. Hang in there and remember you are only one person. It sounds like you have a lot of demands on yourself.

Right now I have little obligation/committments. There was a time that I was raising kids, house , dogs, married, cars, school, work, volunteer , sporting events and every moment seem accounted for. This is how I handled it. I used a lot of notecards for lists of things I needed to do. There were those things scheduled on the calender, and then those that I need to do this week ie phone calls, car inspected, etc. So on Sunday night, I would look over that weekly list and prioritize what had to be done and those things that I wanted to get done but were not urgent, put them on the calender. (taken from note cards I carried around with me). I would cross them off the list if I did them, and what I did not rolled over to the next week.

Now I have to say-that 95% of my managing successfully came from my attitude. I never expected to get everything done. Maybe I could have if there were not emergencies or unexpected circumstances (kids ear infection or flat tire), but that is unrealistic that those things are going to happen to all of us. I also had some supports that I had lined up that I could call on in a real emergency. (In one 2 month period,my daughter was hospitalized during end of pregnancy for kidney infection, my mothers health declined, I had to put her in nursing home, and empty her apartment, then my grandaughter died of SIDS). I had some support to help out with my 2 grade school children. Christmas cards did not go out that year. Cookies were bought. But still even squeezed in some social events as usual. We are not super women and can not do it all, so I would as myself all the time "Will it matter in five years?" Always schedule time for yourself-it will matter in 5 years. If we do not protect our own (?hour a day for relaxing, vegging, walking, yoga) whatever it is that makes us well, we wont protect it tomorrow and eventually it will be 5 years later and we cant get that back.

I am sorry for babbling and I may be misinterpreting what you are saying. I just thought it sounds like you have a very full schedule that might be overwhelming you and leaving you with that feeling of internal turmoil. Take care of you ...and Hugs

 

[Marie E.]

(((((Srain))))

 

[Jenny1979]

Very good advise sterre! I can definitely relate to the panicking and overwhelming feelings of urgency. I haven't figured out all the triggers yet, but my body just freezes up and all I can think of are ways to relieve the agonizing feelings and flooding of panic. I'm still trying different things to try when they hit. My therapist encourages me to sit in the feeling and tell yourself over and over that you will make it through this, it will go away. Sit up straight, rub your feet on the floor and try to focus on your breathing.

I hope you are doing ok and the feelings have subsided for awhile. It's always easier to think of all these things when not in panic mode. Don't forget to keep a journal and write a little when you can.

(hugs)

 

[Srain]

Thank you all so very much!!

((((((((((Sterre)))))))))) ((((((((Brat17)))))))))))You got it! ((((((((((Everyone else)))))))))))

Here's what I did...I took Sterre's and Deb's advice, as well as Brat's and decided to let the insurance this year..I got my Rx statement totals for last year and it blew my mind!!! It was outrageous what we paid out of pocket..I just crumbled and knew after searching through all the plans I could only continue on until I'm rid of my most expensive costs. So that lifted a HUGE piece of the puzzle. Reminding myself I AM SAFE.

Next, I got my husband's gift...something I wanted done and for me :) Yeah!!

Then, the GrandBoys' gifts, all packed, checked the calendar and am good to go on Monday, Curves doesn't do a "drive-by" so go figure, I'll do that when I do that...mark it for next week. The bully neighbors file is complete and on my laptop, I breathed and took a full day to close off my home and eat chips and salsa watching movies :tup: reminding myself I AM SAFE.

I saw both tdocs and am set up for next week! Yeah!! I got the Christmas tree up(lights included) no decorations and decided if that's all that happens this year I'm good with that :) Also put out the Nut Cracker and a couple of lights that I can see out back.

I chose to clean the house instead of more decorations I would only have to stress about taking down in a couple of weeks. I breathed and remembered I am SAFE.

The support here is invaluable to me.

Thank you so very much,
Rain

 

[Sterre]

Wow Srain, you did a great,great job!:tup: