SeekingAfrica
Sponsor
I am flipping out. I shouldn't but I am.
I was barely holding it together as it is, with the job hunt and visa applications and side projects deadlines.
Tomorrow I have another gig, so I was supposed to work well full work day on one project today. I have until 11th for the project, but it's big and shouldn't lean on last moment work.
First, I have nightmares all night and wake up late and hyper. Then I need to show something about cleaning fridge to my roommate that turns into an hour task. Then she surprises me that she'll be moving in with her boyfriend like in a day or whatnot. And then it becomes a chaos of what bills need payment, what needs to be cleaned, should she move in a month, who will live here after and so on. And I have few friend messages to respond, one of which got worried that I wasn't answering. And then suddenly it's 3pm and I haven't even STARTED my work day.
BUT my roommate needs to celebrate the moving with boyfriend so she'll be making a sudden party in an hour. And the kitchen is right next to my room and my desk.
I have a HUGE migraine and I'm barely keeping it together even alone and in all quiet house, let alone with any people and even more distractions.
A lot of my coping with anxiety is having schedule and routine and a way to deal with issues that is not so sudden so I don't feel like it's all on my head in one moment. And now it feels like it is, like I can barely remember what exactly I need to be working on. All this chaos got me out of knowhere. I made mindmap of all on my mind to braindump and made tea and I'm trying. But it feels like I need time to calm down but it's already late and I don't get that time and I'm FREAKING out and I feel like an idiot. I am so freaking well planned and oriented and somehow got to this day and my roommate wants to have a party and I want to work and everything is just... foggy and hyper and I can't breathe...
I was barely holding it together as it is, with the job hunt and visa applications and side projects deadlines.
Tomorrow I have another gig, so I was supposed to work well full work day on one project today. I have until 11th for the project, but it's big and shouldn't lean on last moment work.
First, I have nightmares all night and wake up late and hyper. Then I need to show something about cleaning fridge to my roommate that turns into an hour task. Then she surprises me that she'll be moving in with her boyfriend like in a day or whatnot. And then it becomes a chaos of what bills need payment, what needs to be cleaned, should she move in a month, who will live here after and so on. And I have few friend messages to respond, one of which got worried that I wasn't answering. And then suddenly it's 3pm and I haven't even STARTED my work day.
BUT my roommate needs to celebrate the moving with boyfriend so she'll be making a sudden party in an hour. And the kitchen is right next to my room and my desk.
I have a HUGE migraine and I'm barely keeping it together even alone and in all quiet house, let alone with any people and even more distractions.
A lot of my coping with anxiety is having schedule and routine and a way to deal with issues that is not so sudden so I don't feel like it's all on my head in one moment. And now it feels like it is, like I can barely remember what exactly I need to be working on. All this chaos got me out of knowhere. I made mindmap of all on my mind to braindump and made tea and I'm trying. But it feels like I need time to calm down but it's already late and I don't get that time and I'm FREAKING out and I feel like an idiot. I am so freaking well planned and oriented and somehow got to this day and my roommate wants to have a party and I want to work and everything is just... foggy and hyper and I can't breathe...