Paralyzing anxiety

[EveHarrington]

I’m now one month in to this bout of paralyzing anxiety.

I cry all the time. I am so nauseous I only eat once a day. It feels like a 24/7 job just regulating my emotions and trying to not react to every little thing.

I feel like I’m getting hit from all sides. My boyfriend broke up with me and that’s what started the nausea. On top of that I’m dealing with family issues, having confronted my abusive dad who denied he ever beat me (at which point I completely lost it).

I feel like I’m in a free fall. The only thing that gives me any pleasure is running. I’m even avoiding my day program as I get harassed and that just adds to my stress. As if I need any more.

I see my doctor next week but I’m going to call him tomorrow to see if he can adjust my meds. I just can’t handle this anymore.

I guess I’m just looking for support. Things haven’t been this bad in years.

Thank you.

 

[ElisabethRhodes]

I am sorry to hear that. You are not alone. People are here to support you. I support you.

 

[Gamereign555]

Unmanaged anxiety you describe is terrible. Every single symptom of PTSD is far worse when you feel like your head is full of anxiety and it will let up.

Hopefully your doctor can prescribe meds to get it under control. My experience with anxiety and panic is that it leads to deeper and deeper depression.

That in turn starts to affect my diet, the disasociations, the sleep disturbances, the anger, the isolating and unhealthy coping solutions.

Are you still seeing a therapist? Anything to keep you from digging deeper into a hole. So much bad comes from feeling that way. And I am sorry. Stay strong!

 

[barefoot]

Sorry to hear you are struggling, Eve. I know how hideous off-the-scale anxiety can feel and I really feel for you.

Are you able to go running every day at the moment?
Any other activities/distractions that help at all?

Hang in there!

 

[Muted]

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Do you think your younger parts are reacting to all of the stress? Sometimes when I’m on overload, I forget to check in with my younger parts.

 

[Joan]

Overwhelming anxiety sucks and is so exhausting. So sorry that you are experiencing this. Sorry that the day program does not feel more supportive. Hoping that you find some relief soon.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Jesus Eve I'm so sorry you are in that place. I know it well, look for my hash marks scratched into the wall of the cell. The only thing that helped in my past beyond drinking and drugs is meditation..an EMDR safe place (just starting myself) or guided meditation. Either way it allows me to slow my mind, stop the looping thoughts and digging into the past.

You need to find and occupy your center, use your senses...close your eyes, feel with your hands and body (seat/bed against your back..etc), listen (see how many individual sounds are around), get a sucking candy and thoroughly investigate it with you mouth (taste, feel, tiny ridges). Let other thoughts come and go but return to your center. Use your breathing techniques with eyes closed.

I probably sound like a typical man trying to solve problems when you just want to talk but truly those things help me everyday. I have been doing this type of meditation 3 time a day since my therapy appointment...and used guided meditation irregularly for some time. I could have used it more effectively looking back.

You will get through this...and it's okay.

I’m even avoiding my day program

Do you mind me asking what you day program consists of? Sorry if you already answered.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I hate anxiety like that Eve. I understand how difficult and hard it is just to be able to function at times. Rooting for you to find some moments of calm in this storm.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

My therapist referred me to partial hospitalization.

I start tomorrow morning.