Paranoia? Scared Of Therapy?

[HappyJock]

As some of you know, my new T is fantastic and she's cheerful. One of the good things is that she has one of those personalities that you just can't be sad in front of. But I have an upcoming appointment in which I've wanted to tell her about some dissociative symptoms. I've been terrified and paranoid that she'd hurt me if I did. When I was young, the abuser acted as someone I could open up to and then when I told him the truth, we'll, he'd... You know. Do things. And I just can't get myself to be truthful to my therapist because part of me thinks I'll get hurt. But I really trust her too. And I really so want to finally be able to open up.

 

[claire east]

As some of you know, my new T is fantastic and she's cheerful. One of the good things is that she ha...

YOU won't get hurt trust me the things I told my counsellor I thoult shed think I was a slut but I couldn't be more wrong the worse details are the ones that need to be talked about you can allways chat to me I won't judge you your doing really well do far you should be proud your getting help that's a start

 

[barefoot]

I think this is a really important thing to share with her so that you can talk/work through this fear together. You could just tell her pretty much what you've said here - you could even write it down to give her or email it to her in advance if that makes it easier for you.
I'm sure she'll reassure you in terms of her being trustworthy. But I think this is an important thing to put out there and discuss with her.

 

[Klo]

When I was young, the abuser acted as someone I could open up to and then when I told him the truth, we'll, he'd... You know. Do things.

This is important for your therapist to know. A lot of abusers are like this, and therapists can unknowingly make things worse by trying really hard to convince you to trust them, without first working on this issue. If this issue is not addressed first, then your therapist trying to reassure you would just come across as threatening.

 

[Deleted member 31177]

Quote: "When I was young, the abuser acted as someone I could open up to and then when I told him the truth, we'll, he'd... You know. Do things. And I just can't get myself to be truthful to my therapist because part of me thinks I'll get hurt. But I really trust her too. And I really so want to finally be able to open up."

I was thinking . . . what if you start out your therapy session with JUST the above, quote from what you wrote in your first post of this thread? That way, you're edging into the subject, you'll see her reaction, but you don't have to go any further if you feel too scared or any mistrust. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with what she says and her tone and how she looks and replies, you might want to just continue on with her.

This way, you aren't really telling her the story, but "opening the door" to the story without really telling it just to see her reaction so you can see if you feel safe enough to go on with it.