Paranoid or should I tell someone?

[moolala]

This morning I think someone was watching me. My house has a keypad lock instead of a traditional key lock, and usually I’m very careful about covering it with my body and hiding it from view, but this time I didn't because my hands/arms were full of a bunch of bags and I didn't want to set them down (why? What was I thinking?!) and so not only did I not block the keypad very well, I also typed it in very slowly. Almost immediately I became aware that someone was looking at me and across the street, within viewing distance, was a man looking at me. He was turned 90 degrees from the walking direction with no cars or anything as obstructions. As soon as I saw him he started walking away briskly in the normal direction. About 20 seconds later he got on his phone. Because of the cars there I couldn't see if he answered or dialed, but I don't have a good feeling about this.

I can't tell if I’m being paranoid but I would REALLY rather not tell my roommates unless it seems real. It would be a hassle to change the keypad pattern because our out of town landlord would have to come in. Also, I've asked a lot of my fun & kind roommates before--if you're having friends over yell something even if you're not sure I'm home (one time I got out of shower and there were six guys I had never seen before in the living room staring at me in my towel with no roommate present), can you help me my window is stuck open, tell me if you see my curtains aren't fully closed, can you come walk me from a few blocks away because there are a lot of drunks out, one of your friends hit on me tell them not to talk to me anymore etc. It's worth mentioning that they're guys so they don't really get it. I would really, really rather not mention it & look like I’m crazy or troublesome, never mind inconvenience our landlord too.

I live in a nice neighbourhood, the only trouble I've ever had is with occasional junkies or drunks, although the vast majority of them are harmless. Construction workers are there 24/7 but they never bothered me after I once replied Is your boss there? instead of ignoring them so I feel more okay about that even if I don't like them watching me.

What should I do?

 

[LuckiLee]

Talk with your roommates about it. Describe him. Have they ever seen him? If you see him again get a picture...

 

[EveHarrington]

I don’t think a normal person with 20/20 vision can see across the street and be able to tell what you punched in a key pad.

 

[Friday]

I’d say 6 of 1, half a dozen of another.

Meaning, yes, it’s probably paranoid to think a man facing your direction across the street was memorizing your door code AND intends to use it. There are a hundred reasons he could have been looking at you, from the generous (wanting to ask to help you with your shopping, but not wanting to come across as creepy; thinking you were cute, etc.) to the neutral (just staring off into space -which happened to be in your direction- collecting his thoughts, thinking a keypad entry would be a good idea at his home, remembering his old house with a keypad, thinking you’re not being very secure with your code but deciding it would be rude to say so, etc.) to the villainous.

But that doesn’t mean you should keep silent. There’s no harm in mentioning to your housemates that there was a man across the street staring at you as you came in. It’s probably nothing, but still worth giving a heads up, just so people can keep an eye out.

Black and White thinking says BATTLESTATIONS! ...Or... Nothing. Say nothing. Do nothing. It is nothing. You’re paranoid. Zip it. :speechless:

It’s the shade of grey. Alert/Aware, but not Change the door code!!! :eek:

 

[moolala]

Thank you guys so much for your responses! You're right, for all I know he could be partially blind, and him trying to get the code is a pretty drastic conclusion to come to. The street is about 3.5 meters wide so it's not huge but that's definitely a reaaally long way to see the pattern. Honestly I think what freaked me out is that the only things he could see from standing in that position/direction are the front of the house or me or the sky or the empty street and he was definitely standing there looking at me because we made eye contact. I also think it has to do with the fact that it's my house, one of the only places I feel safe so my PTSD logic says it's probably a feeling of false safety... Really appreciate the responses :)

 

[Sideways]

Easy to solve and put your mind at ease. Get one of your roommates to stand at the keypad pressing numbers at random, while you’re standing on the other side of the street where this person was.

Can you actually see what numbers were pressed? Probably not. Seeing that for yourself? Solves the issue for brain:)

 

[Ronin]

You said it yourself, you live in a nice neighborhood and people are actually watchful over one another.

If I were planning to enter concretely your apt, even having the right code, that alone would not please me. Nor that you are already ready.

 

[Friday]

If I were planning to enter concretely your apt, even having the right code, that alone would not please me. Nor that you are already ready.

This is a really important thing to note.

Most criminals fall into 3 subtypes... lazy/opportunistic, smash&grab, or clever.

Smash and grab they’re not going to bother with codes. They’ll simply force their way in. Whether that’s a broken window or a kicked in door, or grabbing someone by the arm and coercing their way in.

Clever, they’re not going to be bothered by the codes. They’ll have reason to be there to keep neighbors from being suspicious (gas man, grocery delivery, friend who not just smiles and waves at the neighbors but will chat them up), and come prepared to deal with security. Whether that’s spoofing the codes, bumping or picking the lock, etc.

Locks, key codes, etc. are highly effective against lazy/opportunistic criminals (and residents/guests who don’t want to damage their own property :facepalm: <cough> This is why I learned to pick locks, by the by, I got tired of replacing windows or doors when I locked myself out)... and not much else.

So when I’m reality checking my own paranoia? This is part of the list I run though. Someone watching me enter a code isn’t clever. Not if I see them. Which means they’re either lazy, or smash&grab, or very very new. New people I don’t worry about, because you can’t predict what newbies will do. Which means lazy or smash&grab. A little bit of extra caution (word to the wise to anyone else to make sure they don’t get careless and leave a door unlocked, or gate open, no fuss no muss) deals with lazy, and nothing can prevent smash&grab. It’s simply down to dealing with it. Which means I ask myself if I’m comfortable with dealing with it? If not... what steps can I take to make myself more comfortable?

 

[moolala]

Thanks for the replies! I did check the view from across the street, and while I couldn't see the exact numbers it made a very obvious & clear L shape which is really easy to guess and get on the first or second try. I always thought of it as a number code not a physical pattern. So that's not ideal. My roommates agreed but said that it doesn't matter since we're usually careful and also because he probably didn't even notice the code, just wanted to check me out. I feel uncomfortable because his body language indicated that he was very intentionally staring at me/the door--his planted feet and the odd direction in which he was standing and the eye contact we made. But weirdly staring at strangers doesn't mean he's a real threat, he just happened to creep me out at my house which is why it feels so intense. I appreciate the help with this, it's great having other people help me check the facts! Especially @Friday's 3 types, those questions helped ground me quite a bit.

 

[Phoenix(not)]

Moolala, I have one of these locks on our front door. They are quite easy to remove the body (from the frame it fits onto) and reset the combination. If you reset and then enter a new pattern / combination it will help remedy this into a learning experience of not being obvious in the pattern you select. I remember the pattern only and never what the actual key labels are. Changing the combination/pattern would also give you confidence and hopefully alleviate this exposure concern. I hope this helps :- )

 

[blackemerald1]

When was the code last changed? If you are still concerned you could:-

Ask the landlord if you may change the code by way of a professional that you will pay for,

Let the landlord know that next time he's in town you would appreciate him changing the code but he doesn't have to make a special trip to do so,