Parenting

[abbynormal1929]

I have a 15 month old, and I get intense anxiety that I am not parenting well. I've had general anxiety and ptsd for years, and now I'm constantly anxious that I have the TV on too much, or that I should be introducing solid foods more quickly, or just that I'm being a terrible parent in general. I feel like I'm doing everything regardless of what I do. And (a little of the original topic) but terrible at my new job too. I practice deep breathing and mindfulness, and muscle relaxation, and it helps a bit, but the anxiety is always there at least a little.

 

[Skywatcher]

Believe me when I say this... no one knows what they are doing. So, you are doing just fine. Being a mom can easily bring out the best and worst in you. It took 12 years to get my youngest daughter to sleep in her own bed and now at 15, she is the most independent, free-range kid I know. Try to focus on what you are doing right. Sometimes that may be as simple as “I put on a bra today!” Or brushed my teeth. ?
Ptsd does affect our stress cup differently, but I survived those early years not even having a label on my ptsd. I actually just assumed everyone lived with those thoughts, emotions and anxiety.

 

[mamachick]

I think most new first time moms have a lot of doubts without having ptsd. You say you feel like you are not good at your new job too. Seems that maybe you are much too hard on yourself. If your job is new, you will get feedback so just breathe. If you are worried about your parenting, it doesn't hurt to ask others such as your pediatrician. Just keep acting out of love and you will do fine.

 

[somerandomguy]

Abby, part of the reason you're feeling like this is because your wife is continually telling you that you are like this.

She's wrong. It's totally untrue.

But the longer you wait to get out, the LESS chance you'll have to help your kid, not more. The longer you stay with her, the more likely it is that you will have to quit your job.

I'm sorry to keep harping on this. But you know it's true.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Yeah... I know

 

[RoseyViolet]

Oh, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Many of us have had those same unsure, anxious ridden times parenting when we feel like we just aren't quite enough within our own skin type of thing. I get it! The mental hieroglyphics can really wreak havoc over time. Perhaps trying to start with the basics, the little things that you can find that are positive and that build confidence and joy in your life. One thing I know about kids, they are resilient and are very forgiving, there's no rule book on them, so chill out and realize that you are mom and you are trying your very best to be the best mom you can be. There's a fantastic book that really helped me with my mental battle as well as anxiety, it's called, Dead Link Removed. It really helped put into perspective that everything that comes across my mind I don't have to believe as gospel nor do I have to over analyze it to figure out where it came from, it just is, but the truth is found in finding and knowing the truth not believing lies inside our heads. Check it out, it's very freeing!

 

[abbynormal1929]

I'll look into that one. Thanks

 

[Mach123]

Don't worry, it's fine even if it's not. There's nothing else for it when it's children. Our six kids are grown ups. But I felt exactly like you do now. It seems like yesterday, everyone was little and you eat your heart out worrying. God bless you you're a perfect parent.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Thank you, I appreciate that