- Post starter
- #13
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Part Of A Group That Just Isn't Working
- Post starter Virtues
- Start date
- Status
I can almost feel the depth, @Florian7051. Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work. ;)
- Post starter
- #15
It's been a while since I checked in. Equine therapy has been going amazing for me. I have only had 1 nightmare in the last 2 weeks which is amazing for me, so I guess this in combination with my other therapy is helping. I have developed quite a bond with one of the horses; his name is Dunny. He is the old man of the barn, and suffers from PTSD himself, so I guess we relate on many levels. He was abused before the ranch got him.
He recognizes me and comes to greet me when I show up. He is eager to saddle up, and work for me too. One thing I can't do with him, unfortunately, is lunge him, because he was beaten in the round pen (that's where his abuse took place). The other day we were lunging and I walked down to the pasture with a halter and lead rope, he quickly ran up to greet me, as he though I was taking him out. He looked so disappointed when I chose a different horse for lunging. Later when we were riding in the arena (which is seated alongside the pasture) he was running back and forth frantically sticking his head over the fence trying to see what I was doing. Even when we brought them in from the pasture to feed them, he slowed down to greet me before going into his stall to eat.
The owner of the ranch tells me I am the first person to ride him in a long while. I guess we are good for each other; Dunny needs a job (which I provide him), and I am also a very gentle person (which he needs), and Dunny gives me a friendship like I have never had before (I guess that friendship is mutually beneficial). Anyways, I just wanted to check in with everyone and let you know that this has been going amazing for me, and I even included a picture that one of the other vets up there took of me and my BFF Dunny. This is me giving Dunny a bath after a day of riding.
He recognizes me and comes to greet me when I show up. He is eager to saddle up, and work for me too. One thing I can't do with him, unfortunately, is lunge him, because he was beaten in the round pen (that's where his abuse took place). The other day we were lunging and I walked down to the pasture with a halter and lead rope, he quickly ran up to greet me, as he though I was taking him out. He looked so disappointed when I chose a different horse for lunging. Later when we were riding in the arena (which is seated alongside the pasture) he was running back and forth frantically sticking his head over the fence trying to see what I was doing. Even when we brought them in from the pasture to feed them, he slowed down to greet me before going into his stall to eat.
The owner of the ranch tells me I am the first person to ride him in a long while. I guess we are good for each other; Dunny needs a job (which I provide him), and I am also a very gentle person (which he needs), and Dunny gives me a friendship like I have never had before (I guess that friendship is mutually beneficial). Anyways, I just wanted to check in with everyone and let you know that this has been going amazing for me, and I even included a picture that one of the other vets up there took of me and my BFF Dunny. This is me giving Dunny a bath after a day of riding.
Friday
Sponsor
Hell yes, man.
Thank you. That's a rare feeling of good warmth & smiles. Needed that, today.
SemperFi
Thank you. That's a rare feeling of good warmth & smiles. Needed that, today.
SemperFi
ladee
VIP Member
This is so awesome to see !!! You and your buddy doing bath time... So happy to hear he loves you and can't wait to see you and the feeling is mutual... very very happy for you
joeylittle
Sponsor
@Florian7051 - that's just great to hear. Really truly great. Thanks for sharing about it.
- Post starter
- #19
In addition to the equine therapy I am also in several groups one being Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT). I got to see first hand last Wednesday just how stuffing emotions can lead to displaced emotions. Story:
I was on the drive out to the ranch when I came across the scene of an automobile accident. There was a blue Jeep Cherokee flipped on it's side in the ditch. I saw a woman on the side of the road holding a child and rocking back an forth, and the fire department was cutting into the turned over automobile. Being a firefighter this was an automatic trigger for me. I could only assume that I was looking at Mom and baby and Dad was still trapped in the turned over Jeep. I started thinking how easily this could be me and my wife and kids on the side of the road. I had my tools and med bag in my truck but the Fire Department was already on scene so I didn't stop as I knew I would only be in the way.
About a 1000 meters up the road I passed the two Police motorcycles heading in the opposite direction as me (towards the wreck) with their lights and sirens wailing. This made sense to me. The were obviously responding to the accident and were going to cordon off the area so the Fire Department could work on getting Dad out of the vehicle. "Gosh I hope he is O.K." I remember saying to myself. That's when it happened; I passed EVAC, no lights, no sirens... If you work in the first responder field you know what this means, Dead On Arrival (DOA). Dad didn't make it.
Okay stop the panic attack you're driving. Deep breathing, ground yourself (what can you see, what can you hear, what can you feel...) Crisis diverted or so I thought. What I did was bury those feelings of sadness, compassion, and empathy, and only allowed anxiety to come out. Those feelings didn't "go away" though, they would come back to visit me. You see I was on my way up to the ranch to work with the horses, and horses don't lie, they are a true reflection of what you are feeling and they would bring it out of me.
That day we were working on an initiative with a tarp. We were trying to get the horses to walk on the tarp, let us drag the tarp behind them, pick it up and walk under the tarp, etc... (anything that would spook the horse). Well I was already anxious, so Dunny Boy was anxious too. He was scared of that tarp and the more anxious he got the more he bucked, and in turn the more anxious I got, until it hit me MELTDOWN!!! This overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over me and I didn't know why at the time. It was later when I was talking to my therapist that she explained displaced emotions to me and how "crying spells" worked. Because I hadn't processed the emotions during the time of the accident (I just stuffed them) They eventually came up so I could process them. It just happened to be that same day because of the emotional spiral I was in with Dunny.
This was my first experience of the AH-HA light coming on for ACT. It really does work. Now the next step is recognizing in the moment what exactly I am feeling and allowing myself to feel those uncomfortable emotions. Anyways, ACT and equine therapy working hand in hand. It may have been a fail story, but I learned from it, so I chalk it up as a win, and looking forward to my next challenge.
I was on the drive out to the ranch when I came across the scene of an automobile accident. There was a blue Jeep Cherokee flipped on it's side in the ditch. I saw a woman on the side of the road holding a child and rocking back an forth, and the fire department was cutting into the turned over automobile. Being a firefighter this was an automatic trigger for me. I could only assume that I was looking at Mom and baby and Dad was still trapped in the turned over Jeep. I started thinking how easily this could be me and my wife and kids on the side of the road. I had my tools and med bag in my truck but the Fire Department was already on scene so I didn't stop as I knew I would only be in the way.
About a 1000 meters up the road I passed the two Police motorcycles heading in the opposite direction as me (towards the wreck) with their lights and sirens wailing. This made sense to me. The were obviously responding to the accident and were going to cordon off the area so the Fire Department could work on getting Dad out of the vehicle. "Gosh I hope he is O.K." I remember saying to myself. That's when it happened; I passed EVAC, no lights, no sirens... If you work in the first responder field you know what this means, Dead On Arrival (DOA). Dad didn't make it.
Okay stop the panic attack you're driving. Deep breathing, ground yourself (what can you see, what can you hear, what can you feel...) Crisis diverted or so I thought. What I did was bury those feelings of sadness, compassion, and empathy, and only allowed anxiety to come out. Those feelings didn't "go away" though, they would come back to visit me. You see I was on my way up to the ranch to work with the horses, and horses don't lie, they are a true reflection of what you are feeling and they would bring it out of me.
That day we were working on an initiative with a tarp. We were trying to get the horses to walk on the tarp, let us drag the tarp behind them, pick it up and walk under the tarp, etc... (anything that would spook the horse). Well I was already anxious, so Dunny Boy was anxious too. He was scared of that tarp and the more anxious he got the more he bucked, and in turn the more anxious I got, until it hit me MELTDOWN!!! This overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over me and I didn't know why at the time. It was later when I was talking to my therapist that she explained displaced emotions to me and how "crying spells" worked. Because I hadn't processed the emotions during the time of the accident (I just stuffed them) They eventually came up so I could process them. It just happened to be that same day because of the emotional spiral I was in with Dunny.
This was my first experience of the AH-HA light coming on for ACT. It really does work. Now the next step is recognizing in the moment what exactly I am feeling and allowing myself to feel those uncomfortable emotions. Anyways, ACT and equine therapy working hand in hand. It may have been a fail story, but I learned from it, so I chalk it up as a win, and looking forward to my next challenge.
Friday
Sponsor
Hell yah, man. I'd say that's a straight up win, no two ways about it.
- Post starter
- #21
I was suppose to carry the Marine Corps colors during the half-time show of a polo game... only problem is my horse is spooked by flags so I had to switch horses at the last minute. I have been working with Dunny since I got to the ranch, my new horse Coffee just feels all wrong. Don't get me wrong she is a great horse, but she has a completely different feel to her than Dunny. I got so use to Dunny that I knew all his little quirks. Now I am on a new horse right before the game.
I agreed to still ride out, in spite reservations. The game is this Sunday, but I will not have another chance to ride before then. I am feeling a little nervous, but decided that the whole point of therapy was to push the boundaries of my comfort zone so that's what I intend on doing. Plus, the hope is that maybe I can reach another veteran by doing this (the whole point of the ceremony is to reach out to other veterans who may be looking for support and services, but can't find them in the VA or elsewhere).
Anyways, I am just feeling a little nervous and vulnerable right now and looking for some words of encouragement if anyone has any. I will keep this thread updated and let everyone know how Sunday goes. Wish me luck!
I agreed to still ride out, in spite reservations. The game is this Sunday, but I will not have another chance to ride before then. I am feeling a little nervous, but decided that the whole point of therapy was to push the boundaries of my comfort zone so that's what I intend on doing. Plus, the hope is that maybe I can reach another veteran by doing this (the whole point of the ceremony is to reach out to other veterans who may be looking for support and services, but can't find them in the VA or elsewhere).
Anyways, I am just feeling a little nervous and vulnerable right now and looking for some words of encouragement if anyone has any. I will keep this thread updated and let everyone know how Sunday goes. Wish me luck!
Your horse is a good fella, as are you.
With that matching, things won't go wrong.
Give it your best, & strength to you, brother.
UnKnown-Self
Diamond Member
I work for the Federal Government @Florian7051 and while there is a big push to hire Vets once they get onboard there is no support for PTSD. There is no education for managers and I have seen our Vets struggle. This has become very personal for me since my own PTSD went full blown this past year.
My PTSD is from childhood but when strong men and women volunteer to keep Americans safe and return with PTSD then I think it is the governments responsibility and duty to create more programs that help our Vets cope once they come home. I think if they really want to help out Veterans they should have more education at the work place and an in house therapist for those days when a place to go and vent or help ground is essential. Instead PTSD is seen as an excuse and any attempt to try to explain is a quick conversation changer. Sadly I believe our government is trying to keep that door shut as tightly as possible. PTSD does not always respond well to medication. Not for long anyway. This is especially true with Veterans. That means well trained trauma therapists and lots of time and work the sufferer has to commit to healing many of those hours could be during the work day an the sufferer would have to be granted leave on the governments dime which they aren't willing to spend. I am very happy you have found something that's working for you and thank you for your service. God Bless you on your journey.
My PTSD is from childhood but when strong men and women volunteer to keep Americans safe and return with PTSD then I think it is the governments responsibility and duty to create more programs that help our Vets cope once they come home. I think if they really want to help out Veterans they should have more education at the work place and an in house therapist for those days when a place to go and vent or help ground is essential. Instead PTSD is seen as an excuse and any attempt to try to explain is a quick conversation changer. Sadly I believe our government is trying to keep that door shut as tightly as possible. PTSD does not always respond well to medication. Not for long anyway. This is especially true with Veterans. That means well trained trauma therapists and lots of time and work the sufferer has to commit to healing many of those hours could be during the work day an the sufferer would have to be granted leave on the governments dime which they aren't willing to spend. I am very happy you have found something that's working for you and thank you for your service. God Bless you on your journey.
joeylittle
Sponsor
You can ride - you know what you are doing. Just breathe, sit, listen, and communicate. It's all stuff you already know how to do - and honestly, I'd rather be on a horse that was chill around flags, even a new one, then be on one that thought flags were monsters :) So, it's all gonna be good. You got this.
And good for you for being brave and saying yes, even though it is stepping into a new kind of situation.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
