Pcych doc unavailable - attempts to refill early failed & flagged

[KwanYingirl]

Well, I fired the shrink. At the very end of their workday, a clerk called me to see what I wanted. I stated that I clearly left a message that I was in crisis and needed to see the doc today. I left that message at 8:30 this morning. She offered to make an appt for me next week and I said no thank you, the work ethic there was unacceptable to me. My primary care doctor wrote my scripts for a month and I’ll go to an agency tomorrow for an intake and they have a lot of shrinks. Maybe I’ll luck out and get one with an interest in PTSD. I had a nice conversation with another MCS gal in Illinois that is in our group. She’s a lot younger than me, but her words were very comforting. We are heartbroken over losing Karen. She doesn’t have PTSD. It just amplifies sorrow to a state of unbearable psychic pain. Massage tomorrow, rid myself of the creepy doc, meds are working. What a week. It was not at all helpful to have been ignored. This is how women end up committing suicide from being relegated to the do not matter folder. I read on another thread that one of our members was told only vets get PTSD. I’d like to see the Equsl Rights Amendment finally be ratified, you know, just because we can. Stupid f*cking white men have caused me horrific pain and terror. There are good guys out there, I seem to attract the dregs.

 

[blackemerald1]

Yes I agree with you, grief & ptsd together hit incredibly hard.

 

[KwanYingirl]

So I’ve had a week of trying to resolve my meds as a result of overusing them and then overreacting to being ignored by my shrink. This begs the question of controlled drugs and proper management of patients. With all chronic illnesses, there may be the need to adjust dosages or seek alternatives. With addictive controlled drugs there is no leeway. My former shrink that I worked with for 15 years had increased my Xanax to 1mg during episodes of crises. Then, when stabilized back to ,5mg. Sometimes for a week, once for a month. It was helpful. He knew me for a long time and was careful to prescribe what he thought was within normal limits. Before him when I was in NH my shrink told me that there are circumstances where he would prescribe a much higher dose than I was on.
Since the crackdown on opioids my old shrink was no longer willing to adjust my dose. No matter what, he would not increase my dose. Not only that, he wouldn’t counsel me or recommend any other alternative. The result was that I was even more hyper vigilant to try not to get activated or overwhelmed. With PTSD, it’s impossible to rule the world. But with the crackdown on controlled drugs, this was the new normal.
My friend who is an assistant to a nurse practitioner in family medicine tells me that there has to be zero tolerance of increasing the dose or frequency of a controlled drug. They make their patients sign a contract promising not to use their meds beyond what is prescribed. The doctors are followed, the pharmacies are followed, the whole system is under pressure.
Is this good medicine? Is a shrinks only responsibility is to not change a treatment plan? Is it ethically appropriate to just abandon a patient? Apparently so. I feel like I need to seek my help outside of the current system because it cannot respond to a crisis.

 

[shimmerz]

I feel like I need to seek my help outside of the current system because it cannot respond to a crisis.

Agreed with this and very sorry it happened to you. Last year I was on clonazepam. A regular and high dose. I left one province to come back to my home province and all of the doctors here refused to keep up the prescription. I was forced to go cold turkey when I ran out of the meds. Maybe it is just me, but I am pretty certain that going off of clonazepam like that is NOT a good thing.

So yes, I am of the same thought that you are. These rules change randomly and drugs are 'in' for a bit - just long enough to get people all 'used' to them and then BAM! Apparently it is our fault if we are hooked on them. Um. No. They shouldn't have been prescribed in the first place! What is safe about drugs that are addictive?

I am no longer tied in any way, shape or form to this conventional medical system. It has shown me that they are not looking at my best interests. I no longer see a psychiatrist, a regular family doctor. Over the past 10 years they have continually put me on drugs and then damned me for being on them and compromised me with situations like you are speaking of. It's enough.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don't think you are alone with how you are feeling @KwanYingirl it isn't good medical practice or policy. The 'addicts' (the one's who should not ever have them at all) will push their trade underground. It will go the same way as the 'War on Drugs' and Prohibition... Law enforcement will be tied up worrying about a person who is otherwise completely law abiding but is found with a few tablets of Xanax or something on them and everyone will be required to show a licence on their person to prove they were prescribed the drug at all times. We are truly is the era of utter madness.

I do understand why these drugs do need to be regulated. But it seems as if this is a policy of prohibition not regulation. You were placed in a position (simply by a change in a Policy) where your old & new psydoc could or would not assist. What are they paid the big bucks for? Isn't their authority enough now?

Bereavement has an enormous impact on a person (PTSD complicates things even further) and a sufferer is probably more likely to need therapy and assistance during at least the initial grief process. Who was watching out for you? This makes me so mad. I have an elderly Aunt who recently lost her Mother who was almost 100 years old. My Aunt, who was expecting her mother to pass away was still thrown into enormous shock and prescribed Xanax to help her through her grief.

You did divulge your coping method (taking more than you were prescribed) to your doctor prior to all of this blowing up in your face. Somebody who has your interests at heart (doctor (s), pharmacist (s)...should know that a regular client/customer who is in a state of shock/grief is probably going to need an extra hand and a watchful eye particularly if they have PTSD, are taking these drugs and has a sudden bereavement. I don't need to be very educated to even guess that.

Drugs of addiction can be very useful if the client is carefully monitored. Somebody, somewhere (aside from yourself) who understands these drugs must have known that coming to a very abrupt stop would have added adverse consequences for you.

Sometimes it seems to me that unless you throw on a pair of purple elephant pyjamas and run out into oncoming traffic absolutely nobody will take any notice. :arghh;

I'm glad you are okay @KwanYingirl ...or better at least. I hope you find a doc outside of the 'system' because it has let you down.

Take care,

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’m not really ok yet. I’m sitting at an agency waiting for an intake meeting to get placed with a shrink. I have the name of a nurse practitioner here that was recommended by a client who has similar issues as I and we had the same shrink for about 15 years and he retired in December. She likes this nurse so hopefully I can get an appointment. In the meantime my family doc is holding me together. He has known me for 15 years and never would’ve thought I would abuse my meds. But the loss of my friend has been beyond my ability to cope. It smells bad in here. I don’t think my chemical sensitivities are going to allow me to be in this rickety old building.
This morning I watched a Tara Brach video on coping with cognitive distortions as in “I am bad so I don’t deserve sympathy” it was very encouraging that my feelings are real but they’re not true.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@blackemerald1 your words are very comforting. Thank you so much for taking the time to write them.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Had first appointment with a new shrink. Decided to go with a female. Nope, just as clueless as my old ones. Would not even let me describe my chemical injury nor wanted the reports of neurologist, neuropsychologist and environmental doc. I was visibly irritated by that and just shut down and refused to answer any more questions and told her she could get my history from my primary doc. She asked me if I get irritated often to which I replied rarely. Expected her to ask me to leave, and she didn’t send out any prescriptions but she did say that she will keep me on my current regeime.
Wouldn’t you think a brain doc should know about my brain injury?

She did say that my previous doc that I had for fifteen years prescribed Xanax and they don’t do that anymore. Interesting, he told me the same thing 15 years ago to me but kept me on it. And if you google most prescribed medications, Xanax is either number 1,2, or 3. She didn’t say what other drug she’d replace it with. I guess I would just go back to having tremors. She didn’t check to see if I get my bone density and prolactin checked seeing as Geodon can demineralize the bones and also lead to elevated prolactin. Fortunately my primary doc checks all that. He also doesn’t watch the clock and gives me time to ask questions.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@shimmerz How were you able to get off your benzodiazepines? Did you add something different or are you drug free now? I think I could not work without Xanax because without it I have tremors. I also like my Geodon it’s an atypical antipsychotic and it really softens my volitivity. It helps me do my job and drive long distances. Just can’t see a safe way to stop Xanax.

 

[shimmerz]

How were you able to get off your benzodiazepines?

I was forced to just 'go off them' @KwanYingirl . No hiccups for me somehow. My brain may be mush, of course, but no extreme reactions for me.

 

[EveHarrington]

Tapering slowly is best. There are lots of resources and websites dedicated to helping people get off benzodiazepines. I’m no longer taking my Ativan aside from emergencies as my other meds have really tampered my anxiety. I’m on geodon, too, albeit a veeeery low dose.

Although, I think it’s a bunch of crap that there are so many of us who need benzos and are being denied them.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@EveHarrington im giving this new provider a trust score of 1 on a scale of 0-10. If she makes an attempt to consider the brain damage I have from my chemical injury, then she’ll get several more points. I mean I have serious tremors from it and Xanax and Geodon minimize it so that I can do my job which is using my hands delicately to slide a probe into hair follicles. Why she didn’t want to hear about it is beyond me, but every shrink I go to invalidates that. They refuse to read my medical records. I mean, isn’t that absurd??? I see the countries leading expert on gluteraldehyde damage to the brain. He’s always amazed at how I have overcome obstacles and can work. Damn right I have and it just creams my corn to be dismissed by these rural dipshits. She never asked me if I have my prolactin level checked and my bone density. Outrage!!! They’re all the f*cking same. They figure out you’re not a menace to society. Easy in, easy out. Plus she had a f*cking scented candle on her desk!! Ugh...necessary evil. My doc in Boston doesn’t know anything else but benzo to stop my tremors.