Welcome 19K30,
Yea there is a big PTSD stigma out here in civilian land. I get strange looks frequently through out the day. It's part of life now.
Whether I'm swearing out loud at the gas station having a shit day. Or stressing the f*ck out over x,y,z, infinity. I went through a big phase of questioning my judgement. Couldn't even trust myself if felt like.
Try to explain that at the VA...
Doc, "So it sounds like you are saying you are walking around like a loaded weapon."
Me, "Well...no....but.....yes?"
I live in a small town too. My family used to own a bar here. Plenty of stories of me and the bar's I'm sure.
I find something else to occupy my time with. Creating music. Playing Video games. Whatever.
Long as I keep my ass outa trouble. When the time is right, try to slowly branch out into the community.
Help build a deck for somebody, talk to the Nam' vets. If you see an opportunity to help someone take it.
Word will spread like it always does in these gossiping ass small towns and people may even start waving at you.