J_trustno1
Diamond Member
I have observed this trait in me for a long time now but I never knew what was happening to me. I always felt miserable whenever people asked me personal questions/suggestions as I saw them being personal attacks.
It probably is related to my verbal and emotional abuse in the childhood. I don't know but here are some of the examples that I have bothered me over the last couple of years.
1) Question: "Oh you haven't found a job yet?"
- this is generic question I had the entire of last year from people I met face to face or friends on internet who were my school mates. At the end of their questions I always ended up feeling sad and depressed. I used to cry for days over this one because I felt so worthless for not having a job despite being qualified. I used to put myself very down because I didn't have a job the entire of last year until the beginning of this year.
2) Question: "Are you married?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Have you found a nice guy for yourself yet?"
- Yup, I have been dealing with this same question over the last couple of years. It happened when I went to a friend's engagement party where there were only couples and I felt the odd one out. I had friends who would contact me on facebook just to find out if I have found a guy because they have been married or had partners. I get this question asked at work too by my female co-mates and majority of them are either married or are in serious relationships.
- This question always lead me to similar feelings as question 1 above but more emotional. I still feel that I am trying to push my luck with this entire relationship thing. I am pretty sure if there wasn't any societal pressure I probably wouldn't be feeling this desperate as I am right now. I never wanted to get a relationship this bad before as I have been since last year. I feel guilty of behaving in such manner. At times I doubt myself that I might end up with someone like my father, or mum's brother or that pedophile. I also feel that I am overly obsessed with this matter like I was when I was looking for a job. I also feel that I am driving my close friends from this forum away. I really feel crap about this. I know that I shouldn't be like this but I am now feel like this.
3) Suggestion: "you know, you are getting old and will run of out time for having babies"
- Now this is the worst one. I mean I don't want a kid in my life until I am ready. I am having trouble dealing with my own emotions and how will I manage a kid? I don't want to have a kid until I am sure that I am with the right person, and I am mentally capable of taking this huge responsibility.
4) Question/Suggestion: "Why did you take this job? You are too qualified for this job! You have done masters in chemical engineering and you should be doing something along those lines, why did you end up here? blah blah blah". "Did you send enough CVs?" "Was the quality of your CVs alright?"
- This last question/suggestion nearly had me doubting my abilities. I almost quit my job because of those questions I was asked at work by my colleagues. I was crying last week because of the kind of questions I was asked on my abilities. Whenever I was asked about my study background and if I replied, people looked at me as an idiot and non-deserving person there.
In conclusion: People's shit keeps getting at me on an emotional level. Why do people ask such personal questions and give suggestions when you never ask them ? Questions that I am very sensitive to, always end up hurting me. I know I should grow thicker skin but the relationships and now my abilities question has been getting to me.
It probably is related to my verbal and emotional abuse in the childhood. I don't know but here are some of the examples that I have bothered me over the last couple of years.
1) Question: "Oh you haven't found a job yet?"
- this is generic question I had the entire of last year from people I met face to face or friends on internet who were my school mates. At the end of their questions I always ended up feeling sad and depressed. I used to cry for days over this one because I felt so worthless for not having a job despite being qualified. I used to put myself very down because I didn't have a job the entire of last year until the beginning of this year.
2) Question: "Are you married?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Have you found a nice guy for yourself yet?"
- Yup, I have been dealing with this same question over the last couple of years. It happened when I went to a friend's engagement party where there were only couples and I felt the odd one out. I had friends who would contact me on facebook just to find out if I have found a guy because they have been married or had partners. I get this question asked at work too by my female co-mates and majority of them are either married or are in serious relationships.
- This question always lead me to similar feelings as question 1 above but more emotional. I still feel that I am trying to push my luck with this entire relationship thing. I am pretty sure if there wasn't any societal pressure I probably wouldn't be feeling this desperate as I am right now. I never wanted to get a relationship this bad before as I have been since last year. I feel guilty of behaving in such manner. At times I doubt myself that I might end up with someone like my father, or mum's brother or that pedophile. I also feel that I am overly obsessed with this matter like I was when I was looking for a job. I also feel that I am driving my close friends from this forum away. I really feel crap about this. I know that I shouldn't be like this but I am now feel like this.
3) Suggestion: "you know, you are getting old and will run of out time for having babies"
- Now this is the worst one. I mean I don't want a kid in my life until I am ready. I am having trouble dealing with my own emotions and how will I manage a kid? I don't want to have a kid until I am sure that I am with the right person, and I am mentally capable of taking this huge responsibility.
4) Question/Suggestion: "Why did you take this job? You are too qualified for this job! You have done masters in chemical engineering and you should be doing something along those lines, why did you end up here? blah blah blah". "Did you send enough CVs?" "Was the quality of your CVs alright?"
- This last question/suggestion nearly had me doubting my abilities. I almost quit my job because of those questions I was asked at work by my colleagues. I was crying last week because of the kind of questions I was asked on my abilities. Whenever I was asked about my study background and if I replied, people looked at me as an idiot and non-deserving person there.
In conclusion: People's shit keeps getting at me on an emotional level. Why do people ask such personal questions and give suggestions when you never ask them ? Questions that I am very sensitive to, always end up hurting me. I know I should grow thicker skin but the relationships and now my abilities question has been getting to me.
