Simply Complex-I understand and relate completely. You are absolutely right to know that you can heal, recover, and live well. My sister will never recover either. My mother was alcoholic and depressed-could have been bpd but dont think so, all 5 daughters were effected differently. I left when 11 yrs old but raised by another sister and brother in law.
Many things do overlap. In the 80's, I was in search to save my family and myself and the co-dependency movement was the answer. I could contribute all my irrational beliefs, family dynamics, dysfunction, etc to co-d. I pretty much left my family, or they left me, when I chose not to engage with them.
Seven years ago, my nephew who was a 38 yr old quad was murdered in his home. In attempting to comfort my sister, the relationship took off again. It was ok for a couple of years but then it bacame possesive again. This round- she talked about dying more than ever before. (She can also be funny and loving and many other things). As you know, sometimes we just cant afford that kind of relationship.
I never heard of fleas before but very appropriate. I am interested in the BPD message board-would you send me the information, I would appreciate it . Im not sure how to send a message but will try to find out too. It is easy for me to focus on (almost obsess) on my sis behavior, what she said-did, etc. In severing relationships, I am also trying to focus on my own stuff and beliefs.
Yesterday in therapy I learned the effects on me for being called a brat by my sisters anytime I wanted or needed anything. They were all older and forced to care for me at times, I idolized them all. Hungry-brat wants food. Tired and crying-she a brat. Wants to go with us-shes a brat. Gotta go to the bathroom while out-brat. Mom said to pick up something for brat. Brat gets to take dance lessons. I came to expect nothing, want nothing and need nothing. I would rather be a brat.
Again-thanks for the information and Ill try to send message
