Managing personality splitting

[Roland]

I was wondering about those of us with personality splitting, how do/did you overcome that?

When I'm in a new environment, I can literally feel myself confused about which of my splits is appropriate to dominate in that type of setting.

This isn't such a big deal, because I get comfortable after a while and figure it out. But take for example establishing a solid identity for yourself, be it in person or via social media, I really struggle with it because I find myself only being one of my "selves" and not able to be fully all of them since they're not all appropriate for the setting.

I feel like I have no voice, in most settings and relationships (aside from my closest relationships such as my family and husband) I find myself just agreeing with the other person, even if I don't feel that way. I find myself censoring myself and giving more diplomatic answers, more charismatic, and likeable. It's only when I get comfortable around people and they get to know me that they really learn my opinions and different parts of my personality I so struggle to integrate.

People say "just be yourself" and I'm like which self? I feel like the different sides of myself are polarizing opposites and such in conflict with each other they can't be together, and I also think I couldn't be both in one place.

Btw, I don't have DID, I'm aware of my parts and they are more like personality characteristics not full blown people with names, ages, etc.

I feel like this is a maze. I get confused who I am, because every part of myself is me at the time. Do you experience this? How did you overcome it? Were you able to integrate your splits or did you just learn to accept, or get comfortable with the uncomfortable?

(I didn't know where best to post it)

 

[Sideways]

But take for example establishing a solid identity for yourself, be it in person or via social media, I really struggle with it because I find myself only being one of my "selves" and not able to be fully all of them since they're not all appropriate for the setting.

I’ll preface this with: I have DID, so this may or may not be helpful!

If your personality is complex, and dynamic, and diverse? That’s great! That’s who you are. If some days you want to listen to Korn and dress in black leather and other days you want to crank up TayTay? That’s totally okay. And not at all abnormal.

There’s a lot of very misleading perceptions we get from social media, and one is that everyone else has a consistent and straight forward personality that measures up exactly the same way in every setting. That’s not reality, though. In reality, loads of people are exactly how you’re describing yourself. Interesting, fluid, adaptive, dynamic.

It’s okay to embrace and celebrate that quality in yourself.