Phantom Farter - Are You One?

[anthony]

I am cracking myself up just writing this... but something Nicolette did today reminded me of things I do... which is phantom farting in public. She went and did the grocery shopping, came home, let fluffy of the chain and stunk me out. I told her she is a stinky pole cat at which she replied that she had been doing it through the shopping aisles. I do that when I go shopping with her, which she usually frowns her head and tells me off for embarrassing her. Well... the shoe is on the other foot and she too is a phantom farter.

Are you?

 

[Nicolette]

Sweetheart....I am going to kill you :stupid:!

I may let fluffy off the chain (not that I will admit it) however Anthony can wipe an entire shopping aisle whereas I may accidently harms one or two bays at most. Can you believe I am about to marry this man!:rofl:

 

[amethist]

It is bad when they cannot stand there own smell and leave you with it.

Yep that's my wonderful husband did to me and then said for all to here,

"you didn't just do that in here, with all this food about how could you"

He limped out of that shop lol

Amethist

 

[liv now]

I am an expert phantom farter although I have never admitted this. (I see a few wrinkled up noses in shopping aisles). I try not to be but the end of the day It is far better out than in!

 

[amethist]

Since this seems the be going down the pan as they say this is a question my husband like to ask people when you are least expecting it.

Why do farts smell ?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

Yea men can't live with them, can't live without them lol

Amethist

 

[Deleted member 541]

I used to be one, but lately no.......I just had a kidney ultra sound this past week, and the tech had to keep asking me to turn a little this way, then turn back the roll to my side, then roll to my back.

I finally became a bit concerned and asked her what the problem was and she replied..." I am having a bit of a time seeing your kidney, due to the fact that you seem to have a lot of gas." Well, that was on the right kidney. When she got to the left one, she started to laugh, and told me that I had enough gas in there to start off a small earth quake!!!!

So with all of the gas that I have had of late, there is no way a store would survive, and there is no way I could be *phantom* either.....

 

[her_indoors43]

you pair sound like arrrrr soul mates.......:eek:,.........

ok im gunna say it..

...do you realise now everyone at your wedding if they read this post...is all gunna wonder if you pair are phantom farting up the aisle



are you gunna be smelly bride and groom......???/:eek:....gees anthony what have you done starten this thread...:naughty: ummm arrrr........lol......:doh::smile:

 

[Grama-Herc]

:rofl:OH I just love social groups. Especailly ones I can join and participate in with the other member.

Thank You for making me smile on this ho hum Sunday!

 

[Grama-Herc]

:rofl:OH I just love social groups

 

[Marlene]

My husband is a phantom farter. The old 'silent but deadly' ones. Usually by the time the rest of us are looking around, sniffing and asking 'What IS that smell?' someone will notice him sitting there with an innocent look on his face. That's the dead giveaway. Him looking innocent. *rolling eyes*

BTW Nicolette-I'm married to one who will rip one in the aisle of the store and turn and look at me with this look of horror on his face and say 'DEAR!' like I'm the one who did it. No amount of proclaiming of one's innocence will work in a situation like that. I just usually shake my head, mumble 'I'm going to kill you when we get home' and walk away.

Lisa

 

[2quilt]

My DH rapidly covers my head with the bed covers then farts loud while i struggle to breathe. I think that's called a "Dutch Oven." My sincere apologies to residents of Holland, who are not, in fact, referred to as "Hollandaise."

 

[Nicolette]

The sad part of all this is Anthony is proud of this thread and showing signs of being very smug about it. :rolleyes: