Physical Therapy Too Hands-on

[Chava]

I'm at the end of a long line of referrals and want to be happy with my new physical therapy (chronic pain stuff) but the therapist is way too hands-on. She also doesn't really explain what she's doing. I'm hyper-sensitive on both parts, and this is how the whole session goes, so not fair to ask her to be an entirely different therapist.

The doctor who referred me was after a line of doctors. He doesn't know me well but I saw him for the pain...and was referred to this therapist, highly recommended. I quit my last physical therapy for other reasons. I don't want to ask for a different referral because how do I tell a doctor I don't even know that this is too hands-on and I don't like how she doesn't really explain what she is doing. I sound like a neurotic idiot and waste of time. Also, my insurance company is going to soon say "f*ck you" with how I skip around for physical therapy.

I tried just chilling out and being open minded. But I really hate it. With all the referrals I've been through for pain I don't want to push my luck by asking for a different referral and be totally written off as a head case.

I'm really angry and it feels like my only option is quitting and giving up on this. I canceled my upcoming appointments and told them I'd call to reschedule, knowing I most likely won't. I just don't know what to do. Not really expecting to find an answer here, but any idea appreciated since I don't think through stuff like this...I just feel like I have to quit. I can't stand it.

 

[garden]

I don't think it's unreasonable to have a patient or two who might need a bit more explaining in order for them to be comfortable. My sister is a nurse and she talks about how much she loves the different personalities, and the different ways she can find to meet their needs, and how her job can be creative which makes it fun. Maybe go out on a limb and ask for what you need to be comfortable.

 

[Friday]

I'm at the end of a long line of referrals and want to be happy with my new physical therapy (chronic pain stuff) but the therapist is way too hands-on. She also doesn't really explain what she's doing. I'm hyper-sensitive on both parts, and this is how the whole session goes, so not fair to ask her to be an entirely different therapist.

1) Totally fair to ask. "I have trauma stuff. Anywhere I can do things instead of you would be very helpful to me. Also...Can you explain what you're doing / about to be doing? Like constantly. Stream me the info like you're teaching students."

Many clients don't want the constant stream of updates... It's not like OB/Gyn where they're mandated to be doing so... So when most clients don't want something? They apply that rule to all clients who don't ask for all the information. My godbrother is a PT. He has to practically duct tape his mouth not to be constantly telling his patients what he's doing and why. He works mostly with Vets, and is told 'Doc? With all due respect, sir...Shut up.' on a fairly regular basis. Then he laughs because he'll be doing soooooo good, and the client is like "Um? How about a little warning? Someone glue your lips together or something???"

I'm really angry and it feels like my only option is quitting and giving up on this. ///...I just feel like I have to quit. I can't stand it.

2) It's not your only option. You did a fairly good job of listing out all of your options.
- Talk to therapist
- Talk to your doctor
- Get a referral to a new therapist
- Do nothing
- Quit

Quitting just happens to be the one you want to do / requires no risk. The others, the worst that could happen is that you'd have to quit. Which is what you want to do anyway... So what's the harm if your therapist can't change, your doc is unsympathetic, or your insurance company tells you to f*ck off? None of these things have happened, yet. After they happen quitting will be your only option. Mind reading everyone's answers? Jumping from "these are my options... Nope! No one will help me!" Without asking them? Bit of mind reading / catastrophizing, there.

Don't get me wrong... It could happen. All 3 avenues could be dead ends. But until you've actually tried them? No way to know.

 

[scout86]

so not fair to ask her to be an entirely different therapist.

Actually, I think it kind of IS.

I've been to a few physical therapists. Now, it was always a situation where they showed me what I needed to do and sent me on my merry way, maybe with orders to come back if it didn't get better, but they ALWAYS explained what they were doing and why. Now, I'm naturally curious and can't resist asking questions and maybe that's a factor, but they seemed willing to give as much information as I wanted.

You're paying for this. Or your insurance company is. I think you have a perfect right to tell her how you want to be treated and to get all the information you want too. She should look at it as a plus. It keeps her from taking things for granted and getting lazy and set in her ways. Being flexible is good and so is actually thinking about the people you're working for and considering what they want, like, prefer.

 

[Chava]

Thank you guys. I think I should have said something right away but was trying to just be okay. Now I don't think I can go back because I let myself feel too on edge and didn't recognize it because I was so busy thinking I should be okay. I can't go back to this person. But maybe I can ask doctor to write another order later. I don't know what I'll say. I f*cked this up.

 

[Samantha_38]

I'm a physical therapy student. You can definitely ask them to be less hands on and they will understand. The hands on is a "big" deal lately, a lot of research happening in the area and more benefits are being found than people realized before. That doesn't mean that's the only thing they can do. I understand not feeling comfortable with this person any longer. Just know in the future you have every right to say you aren't comfortable with something and if they are even a half way decent PT they will respect that and they have a million other options to offer you. You should be making all of your goals along side your therapist.

Good luck!

 

[Chava]

Thanks @Samantha_38 ...I had a great PT a few years ago but she left to raise her babies. I felt pretty comfortable telling her what didn't help or feel okay, but even that took a while. Partly I think I burned out on advocating for myself. I did it through so many clinic appointments this winter, did a good job, but was rattled every time. Felt totally insane. Finally this was the recommendation and I just wanted to go with it and feel good about it. I don't know the difference between open-minded and passive. But somewhere I tipped into passive dread, totally hating it without just admitting that to myself.

Probably needed a break between all the doctors and the PT. I can't deal with it right now. Besides, it's not like I'm getting worse. Partly I'm working on learning how to rest for 30 minutes when needed without feeling just trapped in pain...and I'm doing pretty well with some of that. But I still feel like a shit head...not proud of my pattern of acting normal for a little bit then just disappearing with no communication. I'm not going to figure out how to fix that today.

 

[greenleaf]

How about writing on a post card, "please explain what you're doing before doing" and taping it to the pillow next to your head?

I have a different issue with my PT; I forget everything that was going on physically and think I'm making it up, or it wasn't that bad (or other variations on tapes I was fed as a kid after the brother's violent episodes.) Communication was not really working for a while for me though she's very nice, non-threatening for my brain.

So if I write everything down beforehand and give it to her, sometimes I don't even have to deal with the issue face-to-face, which doesn't (trigger?) all my self-minimizing stuff. My brain just works better on some things when not face-to-face...

 

[Chava]

Thank you @greenleaf ...I did reschedule with this person for a few weeks out (after having not been there for a few weeks). This is not really how to do PT! I need to go weekly. I hope I can maybe talk to my therapist about it and get some ideas clear in my head about what to say. I don't know why it's suddenly so hard for me. It feels like I crossed some line where I let myself get passive, numbed out, and now I just can't stand to go back. But she's a good PT and seems to understand some of my stuff (umm, I need a whole new body).

I knew this person before PT, through other stuff in the community, so I think I have a stronger issue coming across as quirky with her...because like so many in the community I had this certain normalish front. I will write stuff down, but maybe find a way to make it more question-based, like I'm just a curious nerd, "So what is this for" or "How does this help?".....then at least some ownership and me not being passive and freaked out. I did ask some questions about muscles she was referring to last time...like it is pretty normal to be interested in my body and what she sees as screwed up, so maybe I can go stronger from that angle...would also maybe help me not get so detached. And if I ask lots of questions, like an annoying amount, maybe she will start just communicating more as she's doing stuff.

Thanks. I just can't give up. I really hate living in my body today.