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Please Do Not Judge Me.

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 20280
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Just watch the careful line between you being in control and your substances controlling you. I've been through needing a lot of alcohol just to survive the evening and not destroy myself. There is a point of needing to survive, we all know it. I'm sober now and don't feel too awesome about my need for sedatives....and of course they stop working so I had to double the dose, against my doctor's okay (so eventually I run out...and there's a new problem). I've trimmed back through some careful efforts at other things that can help me feel okay in the evening. But I know it's hard. Meds don't work well for me...except the sleeping pill, which of course stops working because I use it so much. It's a very frustrating sort of merry-go-round.

Just take care of yourself and be mindful of other choices as they might arise at some point, even if they help just a bit. Simply having choices helps me feel like I have some control. The med and substance thing eventually always takes that away for me. So it's a tricky balance for sure.
 
So, I self medicate !. I will not go into what substances I consume to achieve the state of oblivion I need to be able to forget (even for a moment) the horrors of my childhood.

"Oblivion" is cause for concern for me Laurie listen to me now and believe me later... you don't need to graduate to my co-occurring behaviors world.

Not a judgment, just not wanting you to risk finding yourself in my boat.
 
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