General Please help! he says he feels on the verge of nervous breakdown, what to do?

[lostforgottensoul]

Civilians. Not so much.

Depends on what civilians we're speaking of.

 

[Never_falter2]

I just talked to him.

Me: How are you? fine?
Vet: Fine
Me: Are you okay.
Vet: Yep
Me: Want to talk about the things you said yesterday
Vet: Nope

*sighs*

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Never_falter, give him space. That's what he wants and it's what he needs as well. His answers tell you that as does his eccaping into other rooms. Let him talk if he becomes ready to and become ok with him never being ok to talk about it. He may not ever talk to you about it and it's ok. You are there to support. Not help, not fix, support.

 

[Never_falter2]

I am just a bit afraid that he might hurt himself because that is what he said. That he might have a nervous breakdown and might hurt himself because he is totally useless in leading them civvies at his workplace... but that happens to be his job.

 

[Dergrosse]

@Never_falter it really sounds like he needs space. We isolate, it's what we do. It sounds like he is possibly going through an isolation, and for me that means not only do i want my space I NEED it.

Even if it's not an isolation and he is just going through a hard time right now, let him. It's ok, when people that have no idea what it's like living with PTSD pester me about my symptoms I have a few thoughts.
1. They are sick and twisted and want to take joy in my pain.
2. There's nothing they can do for me, because they haven't experienced it.
3. Why don't they respect me enough to leave me alone when I've repeatedly asked them too.

I have those thoughts about every supporter in my life when they act that way. I'm not saying the thoughts are valid, but you start to wonder why people are so invested and it's easier to think the worst.

The moral of the story, if he needs space give it to him and every so often (few days) remind him your there for him if he needs you.

 

[Sighs]

Depends on what civilians we're speaking of.

Not really. I have never ever seen any group of civilians act in the same efficient, focused, punctual way as a group of soldiers (or ex soldiers). Can individual civilians be punctual? Sure. Efficient? Sure. Communicate clearly? Sure. But put two or more of them together and all of a sudden you're herding cats.

This can be extremely difficult to cope with for former military command positions who are used to having the ability to control others through deterrents such as docking pay, restrict to barracks, lock in cells, demote and ultimately discharge.

 

[LuckiLee]

Thank you @Sighs!!

 

[Dergrosse]

I've worked on industrial sites where everyone looked out for each other, communicated clearly, and worked efficiently. If mistakes were made it could have been the difference between life or death. There were a couple of vets that ran the sites and they didn't seem to have a problem with all of us civilians.

I'm not trying to say it's always the case, but to say it's never the case isn't exactly fair either.

 

[LuckiLee]

^^^No, they came home and complained to their families about it. IMO

 

[Dergrosse]

Gotcha so in your opinion they praised everyone to their face then went home and complained to their families about how all 20 people would get to work at least 15 minutes early, be ready to go before start time, worked as a team, overcame obstacles that arose, communicated clearly, and always found a way to get the job done even if it meant staying late... So in your opinion, why lie yo everyone's face and treat people to lunch at least once a week thanking them for being such hard workers?

 

[Dergrosse]

@LuckiLee I'm not sure which is more surprising. That you think it's impossible for a group of civilians to be able to work together, or that you seem to think all vets are completely incapable of adapting to a leadership role in the civilian world.

 

[Gs172003]

Depends on what civilians we're speaking of.

Agreed. I agree with getting him to his therapist but not so sure about the civilian thing...