I don't even know where to begin. I wish I could talk to someone online right now, because I'm just sitting in my apartment alone thinking about what just happened.
My boyfriend of nearly a year was a Ranger in the Army for 9 years. He is 28. He was in Iraq and Afghanistan, and was released because he hurt his shoulder. For a little over a year, he has moved from one crappy job to another, finding work only as security in bars and servers at restaurants. He harbors so much pain from his experiences and friends lost, as I'm sure many of your loved ones do.
Tonight, he experienced his second major night terror (his second since we've been together). Just like the last time, it's been after a night of drinking. I woke up at 4am to him stumbling in to bed when I realized he was naked and he had wet the bed. I tried to get him up and off the bed so I could take the sheets off, but he just kept sitting there with his head down. I didn't know what was wrong, and I didn't even know the first time that he wet the bed was from a night terror, I just thought he was really drunk. I tried pulling him up and finally he grabbed me and threw me down on the bed and told me to stop touching him and pulling on him. Once he realized what he had done, he got dressed and went into the hallway and grabbed his culinary bag (he just started at culinary school recently) and took out three knives. He started to leave the apartment but I talked him down and took all the knives from the kitchen and his bag and locked them in my bedroom. I know I should have just let him leave but I could never live with myself had something happened to him.
He started crying harder than I've ever seen before. He kept hiding his face from me and wouldn't look me in the eye. He tried to fall asleep on the floor but I knew I couldn't keep him in the apartment and feel safe, especially when I had my roommate's safety to consider.
He left the apartment to cool off outside, and I called a veterans hotline. The woman told me to call the police, which I knew I had to do from the very beginning. I called the police and sat outside while they talked to me, waiting for him to return. They had an ambulance come and take him to the hospital to talk to someone, and now that the dust has settled, I'm a wreck.
My parents happen to be in town this week because my sister had a baby last weekend, and of course I have to be honest with them and tell them what happened. As much as I want to edit out the part about him touching me or the knives, I know it is the right thing to do, but I also know they will never ever let me see him again. He has no supportive family, he depends on me financially, and he really has no one in the world but me. The police will be filing a report because it's the law with domestic abuse in this state, and I don't think I will ever feel safe around him again.
I just don't know what to do. I love him so much, but I don't know what to do. I want to support him as best I can, but I'm 21 years old and I'm just not capable of handling this all, especially without support from his family or mine. He has very few friends, none of which he still communicates with from the army. Three of his best buddies died in the war.
Any advice or help would be much appreciated.
My boyfriend of nearly a year was a Ranger in the Army for 9 years. He is 28. He was in Iraq and Afghanistan, and was released because he hurt his shoulder. For a little over a year, he has moved from one crappy job to another, finding work only as security in bars and servers at restaurants. He harbors so much pain from his experiences and friends lost, as I'm sure many of your loved ones do.
Tonight, he experienced his second major night terror (his second since we've been together). Just like the last time, it's been after a night of drinking. I woke up at 4am to him stumbling in to bed when I realized he was naked and he had wet the bed. I tried to get him up and off the bed so I could take the sheets off, but he just kept sitting there with his head down. I didn't know what was wrong, and I didn't even know the first time that he wet the bed was from a night terror, I just thought he was really drunk. I tried pulling him up and finally he grabbed me and threw me down on the bed and told me to stop touching him and pulling on him. Once he realized what he had done, he got dressed and went into the hallway and grabbed his culinary bag (he just started at culinary school recently) and took out three knives. He started to leave the apartment but I talked him down and took all the knives from the kitchen and his bag and locked them in my bedroom. I know I should have just let him leave but I could never live with myself had something happened to him.
He started crying harder than I've ever seen before. He kept hiding his face from me and wouldn't look me in the eye. He tried to fall asleep on the floor but I knew I couldn't keep him in the apartment and feel safe, especially when I had my roommate's safety to consider.
He left the apartment to cool off outside, and I called a veterans hotline. The woman told me to call the police, which I knew I had to do from the very beginning. I called the police and sat outside while they talked to me, waiting for him to return. They had an ambulance come and take him to the hospital to talk to someone, and now that the dust has settled, I'm a wreck.
My parents happen to be in town this week because my sister had a baby last weekend, and of course I have to be honest with them and tell them what happened. As much as I want to edit out the part about him touching me or the knives, I know it is the right thing to do, but I also know they will never ever let me see him again. He has no supportive family, he depends on me financially, and he really has no one in the world but me. The police will be filing a report because it's the law with domestic abuse in this state, and I don't think I will ever feel safe around him again.
I just don't know what to do. I love him so much, but I don't know what to do. I want to support him as best I can, but I'm 21 years old and I'm just not capable of handling this all, especially without support from his family or mine. He has very few friends, none of which he still communicates with from the army. Three of his best buddies died in the war.
Any advice or help would be much appreciated.
