Please help me feel less alone - 'flashback'/deja vu type episodes to nightmares

[MamaHopeful]

Feeling alone is making me feel like I'm crazy. I wish there was a local support group for PTSD women, just like there is for AA.

Anyhow, here is what I am experiencing and I would love it so much if you, or someone you know, can say you've experienced this as well.

I fall asleep and then wake up on hour later with a HUGE adrenaline surge/panic attack. Sometimes it's due to a night terror, but sometimes the physical symptoms hit in the middle of a "normal" dream. I wake up and practice my breathing and am able to calm down. When I try to go back to sleep, it keep happening - over and over all night long - until eventually my dreams are the most terrifying nightmares and I wake up with my legs running as fast as they can to get away. I wake up and my legs and feet are just pumping so hard and fast.

Now here is where I am convinced I am insane. I've had flashbacks, sure, but what I experience now are flashbacks from my nightmares. Almost like deja vu of a terrifying nightmare. I thought I was having seizures but had a test and it's not. Once the episode is over, I can't really remember what it was - but I'm left terrrrrrified. Even if I'm able to talk and stuff, it's like I'm not really myself and it takes me a minute to get back to reality. I can also almost bring these episodes on if I think about my nightmares or trauma.

I'm convinced I am going insane. Have any of you experienced this? I don't want to be alone with these symptoms anymore.

I start therapy soon, hopefully. I need help.

 

[digger]

Are you on any medication? I ask because some medications can cause dreams to be more vivid and 'real'. I experienced something similar to what I think you're describing (having flashback/deja by type episodes to your nightmares) and it was due to the medication I was on at the time.

 

[MamaHopeful]

I am on paxil. This makes me so afraid!! I have to be on this medication and now I'm afraid that's what is doing this to me!!

 

[digger]

I am on paxil. This makes me so afraid!! I have to be on this medication and now I'm afraid that's...

It was a suggestion of something to look at to see if it might be causing it - that doesn't mean it definitely is your medication causing it. Just something that might be worth mentioning to your prescribing doctor. When are you next due to see them?

I don't have any personal experience of paxil.

 

[Mermaidsiren]

Feeling alone is making me feel like I'm crazy. I wish there was a local support group for PTSD wom...

I’m so sorry you feel this way. I started taking cymbalta a few years ago and it jump started my ptsd nightmares, and now I have them basically every night. My main trauma was 9 years ago yesterday, but the nightmares didn’t start for several years. It’s a similar scenario in every dream and it lingers all day long. The emotions are so vivid. Sometimes it feels hard to discern reality from a dream.
The cymbalta has helped with social anxiety and energy levels but the bad dreams are a listed side effect. I’d rather dream about almost anything else but my abuser/the school I was abused at. You’re not alone and I know how scary it is

 

[hithere]

Feeling alone is making me feel like I'm crazy. I wish there was a local support group for PTSD wom...

Yes I experienced this a lot of my life. When I was really dealing with a particular trauma during a therapy I did (CPT) it was every night just like that for almost 12 weeks. Then I realized my brain was working out the trauma-that's why it was propelling me out of sleep like that. So I started to let it go, let it happen-just go with the flashblack and watch the details of the trauma, and deal with it play by play. Somehow that worked itself out--I now sleep fairly well with pleasant dreams.

yeah, it felt like I was losing my mind by the way, that's a good description of how it felt

 

[PiggyBack]

Are you having deja vu of an actual life experience? or, is it just dream?

You have no control over your dreams. Many of us here have had very bizarre, terrifying dreams and even after death experiences while awake. If you can distinguish between real and "dream", you're clearly not crazy.