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Please help me

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Need to clarify...@eve I still think of my past yes, yet I am no longer held captive there for more than a few seconds or so; and that is only because I went through 16-17 grueling life changing EMDR sessions and I trusted a power greater than myself my T. Also I have choices tonight whereas prior to C.B.T., and EMDR my mind only told me I had one choice and that was to leave.

What a liar and a crock of s***! @eve. For although life is still at times hard and even difficult from time to time for me due to so much time passing from 30 yr. misdiagnosis, wrong medications, bike accident, and finding out some very brutal familial realities, and now life on life's terms Eve, I am now trying to choose differently these days different thoughts, different directions, different life Eve. Not perfection and only progress and on this journey not my former destination into hell. I care so much because I have been exactly right where you are precious Eve. :hug: Lean on me. Jade.
 
For me, it's like what family? My family's in denial and stonewalled, and l do not want to live a facade anymore; I must move on without them now, and that is a river that I nearly drowned in; that ole' rive of de' nile. G'nite precious @eve. (((hugs))) Jade.
 
I'm at the point where I know I need something more intensive. I was about to make another attemp...

Welcome to limbo. Perhaps the normality we have in common with those who display a life so sweet, is having good days and bad days. Hope you don't dwell on the bad as there is no comfort there. People are preoccupied with their own lives, so do yourself a favor and let whatever good to relate in mind, body, and spirit prevail incrementally. Going back to the bad times doesn't help, as your post suggests, not much does. My favorite place is a rock garden with looming pines and a quince tree. Steer your own course as best you can. There are less options and more bs attached to 'getting over it'. Do what you can, though going sideways doesn't exactly leave a lot of options.
 
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