Please Not Now!

[y5L]

I'm on break at work- and I'm dreading having to go back. I am so anxious today but I still have to work. I have to interact with customers and every time someone walks up to the counter I have to fight the urge to run away. It was a fairly good morning, so I'm not sure why my anxiety is so heightened right now. I did feel overwhelmed earlier when multiple conversations were happening around me, but that might have been because I was already anxious, not a cause for anxiety.

Interaction with the public just seems like too much to handle today, I guess.

I got my favorite break food, let my roommate who also works here know I'm feeling anxious, and am trying to focus on breathing. And I'm writing this.

I wonder if customer service may not be the best choice for me right now... I've been here 5 years but I wasn't experiencing very many symptoms until a year and a half ago. But maybe staying will stretch and grow my coping skills? I don't just want to run away from hard things- I want to heal. Whatever that takes.

Have any of you found that a job change was necessary to move forward?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

It's possible it will help you stretch yourself and gain coping skills but I know that customer service is also very stressful.

I guess I see a double edged sword.

 

[TLight]

I've had several therapist tell me that customer service was not a good idea. Triggering must be at manageable levels, or else it will set you back.
I'm 50 now and managed to do customer service for 15 years cause I had to. Finally had one massive breakdown. Went back to school and got a degree in Biology thinking nature was the only thing I could handle, but unfortunately went into environmental consulting working with aggressive and disrespectful property developers. Couldn't do that either.

Thank heavens I finally got disability. I think if they made me go back to regular work I would make the choice to exit this planet.

You are better than going through needless suffering.

 

[arfie]

I have been surfing over the effects of Spring Fever on people with anxiety disorders. PTSD is officially listed as an anxiety disorder in the US. It seems to be fairly typical that season changes affect anxiety disorders mightily. This is one of my favorite articles so far:

[DLMURL]http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-emotional-calendar/201104/springtime-and-spring-fever[/DLMURL]

As for the job choices, I have tried allot of different careers and every one of them has a fatal flaw. Working for a living is just plain hard. So is being retired. Too much time on my hands seems to mess with my mind as much as career stresses did.

Sustaining hopes, y5L. Hope the rest of your day went well.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I also have a anxiety disorder and it is now not as bad as it used to be. What puzzles me is that I am not the same person I used to be and I have had to do so many hard things with severe anxiety and it is so hard so I really empathize with what you are going through.

I have had to make a lifestyle change due to the anxiety. I still have the occasional panic attack when I am thrown off guard but it is not as bad as it was.

I can so relate to what you are going through. Mabe a job change is in order. I have worked as a waitress when I was ok and I found it very hard working with upset customers.

I wish you the very best. I would suggest getting a more easier to handle job if I was in your shoes.

This has got to be so very stressful for you right now. I hate and loathe the bad anxiety.

Like I said I have had to make lifestyle changes to make it easier for me to manage my symptoms.

Take really good care of yourself and please do not be hard on yourself. Hugs.

 

[y5L]

Well, I made it through the rest of work. And then after a quick lunch, retreated to my room. Room darkening curtains, comfy clothes, a favorite show, and a little texting with a couple close friends. I feel a bit better already.

A few people asked what was wrong or how they could help, which I do appreciate, but really it also bothers me that it was that apparent to them. Though after years and years of stuffing everything, I suppose it's better that the outside reflects the inside a bit more now?